Alive
by theregoeseverything
Summary: Ila Domek has landed on Earth with the 100 and struggles to find her place among them. Only in finding unlikely allies will she be able to stay alive. (Slow Burn)
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1: Landed**

The light broke into the dropship, flooding the interior and momentarily blinding Ila. The fresh scent of forest air was overwhelming. The crowd of delinquents flooded out, rushing past - pushing and shoving - eager to see the new world. Earth. Once everyone had vacated the dropship, Ila grabbed a backpack that hung from the wall and stepped up, onto the released dropship door.

The sunlight that glittered through the canopy sprinkled bits of warmth onto Ila's skin. A breeze blew back her sandy colored hair as it caressed her skin with a gentleness Ila never knew existed. She looked down at the ground, only a foot from where she stood. She held in a deep breath and took the plunge. Her feet landed softly onto the Earth and she slowly looked back up, observing the forest around her…the freedom. She grinned brightly to herself, giving out half a chuckle before taking her first breath on Earth. She closed her eyes, opening up the palms of her hands to soak everything in before wildly opening her eyes again and taking off at a run through the trees. She raised her arms enough so that her fingertips brushed the bark of the trees with slight abrasion against her skin. The air whipped against her face, sounds blurred around her.

Her lungs felt tight as she slowed down. The sounds of the delinquents' shouts were distant now, but Ila blocked it out as she started playing music in her head. She dropped her backpack to the ground and closed her eyes once more.

Fifth position, releve' to sousou. Demi plie back down. Left foot ront de jambe back, now right foot. Tendu right foot back and arabesque. Back down to tendu, change to fourth position. Tiree' and pirouette. (Ballet…she's doing ballet)

Ila lost her footing half way through the turn and fell to the forest floor, laughing. She rolled herself onto her back and looked up at the underside of the treetops, smiling brightly. Insects floated and buzzed over her, birds flying overhead, chirping and singing with the song that continued to play in Ila's head.

"I made it, mom," Ila whispered, the smile slowly fading from her face, replaced with a gradually somber but thoughtful look.

Ila turned her head to the side and noticed a trail left behind – footprints. They were fading but still noticeable and a blood covered arrowhead from a broken arrow lay close-by. The blood had dried and sat in an area where plants had been patted down. Ila grabbed the arrowhead and stood up, grabbing her pack and throwing it over her right shoulder. She began to head back towards the dropship, nervously glancing over her shoulders to make sure no one had been watching her dance.

Once she neared the dropship site, her paranoia ceased, but she was confronted by three boys: Bellamy, Murphy and Mbege. They all eyed her suspiciously, led by Bellamy, who was the tallest and eldest of the boys.

"Where have you been?" Bellamy's words were sharp, cutting Ila out of her good mood.

"I'm sorry, last time I checked, I don't answer to you," Ila quipped, continuing, but shortly stopped by the other two boys who held up their hands to halt her.

"He asked you a question," one boy said with a smirk, his eyes cold and piercing.

"You're Murphy, right?"

"Yeah-"

"Shut up," Ila cut him off sharply, leaving him bitter with a disrespectful sneer, but retreated behind Bellamy with Mbege.

"You think you're tough because you beat up an officer?" Bellamy called for her attention again.

"I _know_ I'm tough because I survived," Ila stood tall with these words. They were starting to gather an audience as delinquents moved in to see what all the fuss was about.

"I think it's time we teach her a lesson, Bellamy," Murphy stated, capturing Ila's even icier stare. Bellamy backed away, followed by Mbege to give them some space to duke it out.

"You have nothing that you could possibly teach me," Ila taunted. Her words made Murphy snap as he charged after her. He knocked her to the ground, smiling slyly.

"You have a lot to learn, though," Ila turned the tables on him, flipping him onto the ground underneath her, "Lesson one…"

The two fussed with each other's arms, Murphy trying to gain control, but Ila punched him in the jaw, brought him to a stand by the collar of his jacket, punched him again and tripped him so that he landed face first on the ground. The crowd that had built around them cheered.

"Learn how to pick your fights," Ila finished, playfully kicking his boot, "Lesson two…"

Ila approached Bellamy in the sidelines as he stood frowning with his arms crossed. Ila slammed her hand against his chest.

"We're not alone," Ila removed her hand and looked up at him with a furrowed brow. The bloodstained arrowhead fell into Bellamy's arms. He took it up between his fingertips, observing it. He looked back down at her in amazement and puzzlement.

"You're welcome," Ila murmured smugly.

Wells started for them upon this news, struggling to walk with his hurt ankle. He stared darkly at Murphy as he walked by. The crowd began to break up when Wells finally approached them.

"If we're not alone, we gotta let Clarke and the others know. They could run into trouble," Wells stated.

"And who's going to rescue them, you two? I don't think so."

Ila stormed off, searching around for supplies she could stuff in her backpack that may be useful. She took a large rectangular piece of dropship scrap metal and started to sharpen it.

"Are you going after them?" Wells wobbled his way over to her, plopping to the ground once beside her.

"If I'm going alone, I'm not going unarmed," Ila stated, continuing to sharpen her fore-arm-long blade.

"Well hurry up, they could get attacked at any moment," Wells urged her.

"Wells, I'd be no good to them dead. The grounders may not even be hostile," Ila continued to quicken her pace.

"They use arrows. I'd say they're hostile."

"Not if it's used for hunting. Please, just let me work on this, Wells," Ila stopped, taking a bit of ripped cloth from her backpack and wrapped it around the bottom of the unsharpened length of metal.

Wells shuffled uncomfortably next to her, attempting to scoot away a few inches with futility. Once the blade was good and sharp, Ila tightened up her backpack straps and shoved a few more bits of cloth and scrap metal into her bag along with her new blade. Murphy, however, noticed and started toward her, shoving her shoulder aside. She saw the blood smeared under his nose and his lip was busted open.

"Where do you think you're going?"

"After Clarke and the others, they need to be-"

"Bellamy has a point. You can't just go off on your own. It's not safe," Murphy folded his arms after swiping the rest of the blood from under his nose.

"Then come with me."

"Not a chance. Someone needs to help Bellamy keep order here."

"Yeah, because you're doing such a great job," Ila snapped back sarcastically, smirking at Murphy, "You and your boyfriend are delusional if you think you can keep me here."

Murphy snickered at her.

"Why follow his orders anyway? You his bitch?"

"Fuck you."

"You wish, cupcake," Ila smiled at how she irritated this punk.

Murphy spotted Mbege breaking bracelets off other delinquents' arms. Once he saw Bellamy take a couple girls into the dropship, he decided to sneak away.

"I'm out of here," Murphy ran off.

"Good riddance, asshole," Ila straightened out her backpack once more and headed into the woods after Clarke's group.

The night sky was already starting to overwhelm the forest air with darkness as Ila followed Clarke and her group's trail. The sound of the delinquents disappeared when Ila picked up another trail entirely. The footprints were large and clumsily covered to look as though they had been there a while. The distraction of the new prints caused Ila to lose Clarke's group's tracks…they had disappeared entirely.

"Damn," Ila murmured, swiping a hand at one of the fake prints, "What the hell am I tracking?"

Thirsty and exhausted, Ila headed back to the dropship where everyone was gathered around a fire as Murphy was prying off wristbands. Ila approached him.

"What are you doing?" Ila asked almost shyly.

"Freeing ourselves. Here," Murphy motioned for her to step closer, arm outstretched, palm opened and offering to take her wristband off.

"What?" Ila fumbled the word in disbelief.

"These wristbands keep us prisoners. You think they'll forgive you for your crimes?" Murphy beckoned her as he waved his hand for her to hand him the bracelet. She paused to consider, looking around at the crowd that waited for their turn. They sneered and chuckled at her.

"…No," Ila spat out determinately.

Bellamy stormed over towards Murphy after spotting Ila coming out of the woods.

"Murphy, what the hell?! I thought you said she didn't leave!" Bellamy pulled Murphy up by the collar of his jacket. Murphy kept his cool, straight face.

"Hey, she came back, didn't she?" he smiled.

"Not the point," Bellamy threw him back down, shoving Ila off to the side, signaling Mbege to watch over her.

Wells, no longer hobbling, confronted Bellamy as Mbege followed Ila around as she looked for a decent spot to set up camp. She sat down to construct herself a tent as she listened to the delinquents starting to chant: "Whatever the hell we want! Whatever the hell we want!"

At that moment, the sky opened up and poured rained upon the kids and their fire. Ila smiled briefly to herself while tying off a knot, but the smile quickly faded as the thought of her new found freedom wasn't quite free and she wasn't quite sure why. As her tent began to take shape, Bellamy casually strolled up to her, relieving Mgebe from his duty. He watched her as she struggled to get the branches tied together at the top.

"Where the hell did you go?"

"Why the hell do you care?"

"It could have been dangerous."

Ila finished tying off the top of her tent and turned toward Bellamy.

"Whatever the hell we want, right?"

"You wouldn't survive out there alone."

"Says you. You heard Murphy. I came back, didn't I?"

"Not. The. Point," Bellamy motioned for Mbege to join him as they began to follow Wells into the woods. Before Ila could go after them to protect Wells, Murphy grabbed her arms from behind.

"Don't," Murphy warned her, whispering into her ear.

" _Don't_ touch me," Ila snarled through gritted teeth. She pushed herself back against him, causing him to fall under both her weight and the force. In the confusion, Murphy had let go and Ila ran off to go find Wells, but she was too late…they had already taken his bracelet off.

"Bastards," Ila murmured, running off to her tent in disappointment, kicking Murphy's boot as she passed him, winking at him playfully. He spat at her feet as she continued past.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2: Crying and Screaming**

Ila wasn't sure if it was the ache in her spine or the girl that screamed the next morning that woke her up first. It was certainly the screams that jolted her out of bed and flying out of her tent, which sat farther from the others that would've been considered comfortable. Another scream rang out and Ila chased it to find Murphy, who was hanging a girl over a fire in order for her to take her bracelet off.

"Let her go!" Ila mauled Murphy, who let go of the girl as she scrambled away to safety.

"Stop it!" Wells shouted, which in turn alerted Bellamy.

"What's going on here?" Bellamy shouted.

"She wouldn't take her bracelet off," Murphy pointed to his victim, who held tightly to her bracelet. Ila rolled off Murphy, straightening and cracking her back.

"Bellamy, this has to stop," Ila looked up at him, frowning.

"Stop? It's just getting started," Bellamy smiled as he helped Murphy up.

"Which is why it needs to end now," Wells interrupted.

"That's it," Murphy grumbled angrily as he charged at Wells with a fist, but missed.

"You're dead," Murphy chuckled evilly as he pulled a dropship scrap metal-made knife from his jacket pocket.

Ila kicked the knife out of his hand, knocking it towards Wells. Wells picked it up, threatening Murphy until Clarke and the others emerged into the scene.

"Stop!" Clarke burst out, getting in between Murphy and Wells, "We can't be killing each other. Every life matters down here."

Ila made her way to a stand, a sudden shooting pain surging through her spine. A twist in her gut sent her running to the woods where she vomited that last of the food she had on the Ark.

"We have to go back for Jasper," Ila could hear Clarke saying as she got closer. Ila quickly wiped her mouth clean and started towards her.

"Clarke," Ila spoke up through her hoarse voice. She managed to get Clarke and Wells to turn towards her.

"I want to come with you," Ila stated, catching up to them.

"Really? I mean, that's great," Clarke smiled.

"My tracking skills are decent. I can help," Ila paused to lean in closer, "Look, I gotta get away from these people."

"Alright, but it's not going to be much better out there," Clarke frowned.

"I'll go get my stuff," Ila attempted to rush back to her tent but slowed after the queasiness settled in. She grabbed her backpack from her tent and made her way to the water station where she dipped the cup into the rainwater and gulped down the rest of her sick feelings. As she came upon Clarke's group, she noticed it included Bellamy and Murphy, to which she rolled her eyes in disgust. Keeping quiet, she hung back, unnoticed to catch the last bit of their conversation.

"One way or another, I'm getting Princess's bracelet, even if I have to chop off her damn hand," Bellamy whispered, putting a grin on Murphy's smug face.

Ila began to tune out conversations, eventually leading the group and searching for any clues as to Jasper's whereabouts. Her focus was broken when she heard the group get into a fight about who knows what. When Ila turned to face them, she saw Finn join the group, grabbing Clarke by the arm.

"We'll cover more ground if we split up. Clarke, come with me. Wells you go with Bellamy and Ila, you watch Murphy," Finn delegated.

Both Ila and Murphy rolled their eyes and grunted. The group gradually broke apart, Ila shortly followed by a reluctant Murphy.

"Don't think I forgot what you did back at camp," Murphy reminded.

"You were holding a girl over fire!" Ila spoke with exasperation.

"Like you're a model citizen. What _was_ your crime, anyway?"

"Attempted homicide," Ila said abashedly as though she wanted to scare Murphy but at the same time seemed embarrassed by sharing this information.

"No kidding? Goody-two-shoes like you? Explains that hell-of-a punch, but otherwise I wouldn't have guessed," Murphy touched his busted lip gingerly.

"That's because I'm not a psychotic dumbass like some people," Ila replied.

The two headed up a hill, stumbling over tree trunks and climbing over a boulder. They came across a clearing where a small waterfall spilled into a pool of water, distracting Murphy as he ran into the water after taking off his boots, jacket and socks.

"What are you doing?" Ila shouted after him.

"Relaxing! Whatever the hell we want, right?" Murphy called over to her, smiling.

"We should be looking for Jasper," Ila approached the pool, bending over to splash him.

"He's probably already dead. Who cares?"

"We have to try, at least."

"Try this," Murphy grabbed her hand, pulling her into the pool.

"Murphy you dick!" Ila shouted, but the sudden cool rush soothed the pain in Ila's spine. She smiled.

"Oh…okay…just for a minute," she needlessly treaded the water with her hands, closing her eyes. Murphy gave out a small chuckle at her reaction, but his expression turned serious.

"Why'd you do it?" he asked.

Ila opened her eyes again but a blood splattered rock nearby caught her attention. She trudged out of the pool to investigate, ignoring Murphy and dripping wet. Once out of the pool entirely, she spotted Jasper's goggles, reaching down to pick them up. She dabbed her fingertip in the blood splatters. Still wet – fresh.

"We're close. We should go find the others," Ila turned to Murphy, who was retreating from the pool, grumbling to himself with a bitter expression.

The group joined back up, Finn taking over tracking as Ila followed closely behind. They came upon a clearing, finding Jasper tied to a tree.

"Come on, let's get him down," Finn started forward. Bellamy gestured for Murphy to follow him. As he moved past Ila, she saw the ground look off…askew.

"Murphy wait!" she made to pull him back but was too late. The ground gave out under him and he fell into the pit. Ila quickly, instinctually grabbed his sweaty hand, struggling to hold his weight.

"Hold on!" she tried to pull him up, taking his other hand in hers.

Bellamy grabbed her around the waist and pulled her back, Wells rushing in as well to help. They managed to pull Murphy up. Ila sat back, out of breath. She looked over at Murphy, nodding. He nodded back.

"You should have let him fall," Wells spoke up.

"Every life matters down here. Isn't that what Clarke said?" Ila frowned. Murphy smiled to himself.

"Maybe not Murphy's," Clarke stated grimly. Her words slapped the smile off of Murphy's face.

Bellamy helped Ila stand up, nodding his head to her, then lent a hand to Murphy. Finn and Murphy continued after Jasper as Ila kept an eye out for any more pitfalls.

"So what is this? Some kind of trap?" Bellamy asked.

"For who?" Wells suggested, slightly panicked.

"Or for what?" Ila responded, eyes scanning the woods for predators.

"Hey guys, hurry up!" Bellamy shouted.

"Not so loud!" Ila turned to him angrily.

"Ila, behind you!" Clarke shouted, pointing.

Ila turned to spot a black panther stalking her, ready to pounce. Ila pulled on her blade, but it caught on the inside of her backpack. The panther circled, closing in on Ila before it leapt into the air, mouth open to display its sharp, threatening fangs. Ila held up her arm to protect her and the panther chomped down on her wrist. Ila gave out a painful screech.

"Bellamy shoot it!" Clarke shouted.

Bellamy went to grab his gun but sudden shots fired as the panther was struck with a full clip of bullets. Bellamy turned and saw Wells holding up his gun, pointed at the panther. The beast fell, letting its grip go of Ila's wrist. Only its fangs had penetrated her wrist. Most of the damage was to her wristband.

"Lucky," Ila whispered to herself as Finn and Murphy finished pulling Jasper down from the tree. Bellamy moved toward her, observing her wrist, then the panther. He crouched down beside it, laying out a tarp to roll it into.

"You alright?" he asked without looking at her.

"I'll live," she replied, applying pressure to her wounded arm.

The group started to head back to camp, Ila following behind Bellamy and Murphy as they carried the panther wrapped in the tarp. She held tightly to her arm, chewing on the inside of her cheek to get her mind off the pain.

"Hey…you alright?" Murphy failed to attempt to sound sympathetic.

"Yeah," Ila was hesitant to answer and continued to stare at the ground with a disappointed look.

Night had fallen by the time they returned to camp. Ila felt weak and tired, her feet sore from the walk. She dipped a cloth from her backpack into the water, wrapping it around her wrist. She could hear everyone cheer at the sight of food, but she could not get herself to join the group. She made her way back to her tent…or what was left of it. The tarps had been stolen, her blankets, too. The branches had been busted and destroyed, nothing salvageable. She crouched down and let out a heavy sigh. The light of the fire roasting the panther did not reach her area, but she was still seen by Murphy, who watched her kick over the remainder of her tent. Bellamy caught sight of Murphy staring at Ila.

"Why don't you just-"

"Why don't you just shut the hell up?" Murphy snapped at him.

Bellamy chuckled at him. Perturbed, Murphy hastily grabbed a second skewer of meat, already holding his own - half finished - and scooted away from the fire.

"Here," he kneeled down next to Ila, offering her the second skewer. She looked at it, puzzled.

"Just take the damn food," Murphy stated irritably, shaking it at her. She took it from him and took a bite. The meat was slightly charred but was delicious for not eating anything for over a day. The two sat in an awkward silence, awkwardly shuffling as they ate.

"You can stay in my tent if you want," Murphy offered.

"I'll be fine."

"Fine, whatever," Murphy stood up, rejected. As he started to walk away, Ila stood, turning to him.

"Hey…thanks," Ila called after him quietly in a grateful yet sad tone.

Murphy's face turned red as he stepped back into the light of the fire. He bit off a large chunk of meat that filled his mouth, swallowing hard, but could not swallow the fluttering feeling in his gut.

Later that night, Ila tossed and turned in the cloth that she had stuffed into her bag. It was uncomfortable out in the open and Ila could swear she had several onlookers as she tried to sleep. She sat up, gathered her things and powerwalked her way over to Murphy's tent. She hesitated outside, staring at the exterior thoughtfully, frustrated.

"Hey Murphy?" she whispered, poking her head inside. It was small and cramped, but layered in blankets.

"What the hell do you want?" Murphy mumbled sleepily, agitated as he turned in his bed.

"That offer still open?" Ila entered the tent completely, head bent under the low ceiling.

"Oh…um…sure," Murphy replied, finally recognizing it was Ila as his eyes adjusted to the darkness, "Just…stay on that side."

His attitude had turned sour once again.

"Sure thing, cupcake," Ila joked, smiling.

"Goodnight!" he snapped back at her, turning away in his bed.

Ila set herself up, propping her backpack at the head of her bed. She lay down, her eyes staring into the darkness. A crack in the ceiling let in some light, only barely enough to let Ila see the outline of Murphy lying down, trembling. She heard a small sniff and could almost make out his muffled cries.

"Murphy?" she whispered so quiet she almost couldn't hear the words herself. She propped herself up on her good arm, scooting herself closer to him until she was in arms-length. She reached her neck out to be able to see his face - covered in tears. He was sleeping, still. She placed a gentle hand on his shoulder, lying back down. He stopped trembling but his silent cries continued through the night. Her hand slowly slipped down his back as she, too, eventually fell asleep.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3: Holding It Together**

When Ila awoke, Murphy had already left the tent. She yawned and stretched before getting dressed. She pulled her torn armlet on, then her knee length socks, knitted sweater and tall, brown boots. She left the tent, greeted by the sunlight and a turn in her stomach, which she managed to hold back.

"Morning," Murphy greeted her softly, if not a little grumpy.

"Morning," Ila replied as she watched him practice throwing his knife at a tree just outside the tent. A sudden loud groan called out from Jasper, in pain, from the dropship.

"How'd you sleep?" Murphy asked as he missed. Another groan.

"Better than you, I'd expect," Ila answered.

"That asshole has kept me up since dawn-"

"That's not what I was talking about," Ila interrupted. As Murphy went to pick up his knife, Ila saw his face turn bright red, unsure if it was frustration or embarrassment. Both, she decided.

"Not a word," Murphy retreated back to his throwing spot as Bellamy emerged from the woods with Miller and Atom.

"Not a word about what?" Bellamy asked. Murphy's face turned an even brighter red, staring, wide eyed at Ila to suggest she not spill.

"Murphy can't throw a knife," Ila stared slyly back at Murphy, watching the tension release and the red fade from his face as he rolled his eyes toward Bellamy.

Bellamy took out his hatchet, throwing it swiftly. The blade found the tree's bark, securing its place.

"Trina and Pascal are missing, Bellamy. I went to look for them but there's no sign," Atom stated, watching Murphy fail another attempt to throw his knife.

"Maybe they're in pound town. Been a lot of that going 'round lately," Murphy joked as he went to go pick up his knife, "Visit your special tree while you were out there?"

Ila shoved Murphy as he returned to his spot, knocking the knife from his hand.

"Stop being such a dick, Murphy," Ila said as she bent down to pick up the knife. She threw it at the tree, hitting the spot just above Bellamy's hatchet.

"Damn," Bellamy blurted, blatantly impressed with her accuracy, "Well, we gotta head back out for a hunt today anyway."

Murphy grabbed his knife as Bellamy retrieved his hatchet. When Murphy made to follow the group, Bellamy raised a hand to stop him.

"No, no. I need you here to watch over things," Bellamy stated.

"Watch over things? He can't even throw a knife," Ila laughed, jokingly. A sudden wave of nausea overtook her and she attempted to casually walk it out into the woods to vomit. Murphy watched her walk away as Bellamy began explaining what he wanted him to work on while he was gone.

"Murphy," Bellamy broke Murphy's gaze, "Focus on the task at hand."

As Ila sat, crouching in the woods, retching, Clarke came upon her, not quite realizing what was going on.

"Everything alright?" Clarke kneeled down beside her. Finn and Wells came up behind them.

"Yeah, panther just didn't sit well with me, I guess," Ila forced a laugh.

"Try and get some rest," Clarke stood and started into the woods with Finn and Wells. Ila wiped her mouth clean and stood, heading back towards camp. Another groan from Jasper in the dropship directed Ila towards him. She made her way inside – the groans getting louder and grinding harder on her nerves. She made her way up the ladder to find Octavia and Monty watching over him.

"Hey," Octavia greeted her.

"Hey. How's he doing?" Ila asked, concerned.

"Clarke says not so good. If they don't come back with that seaweed, he'll die," Octavia frowned, turning her attention back to Jasper as she spotted his forehead with a wet cloth.

"If he doesn't get better by tomorrow, Bellamy says he's gonna kill him," Monty spat angrily.

"Yeah, unless Murphy gets to him first. Jasper's groaning has been whittling his patience all day…But don't worry Jasper," Ila patted Jasper's hair, "I won't let him anywhere near you."

Ila smiled at him, then at Octavia reassuringly. The two watched as Jasper wheezed in his sleep and grumbled in pain.

"How do you do it?" Octavia broke the silence.

"Do what?" Ila asked, confused.

"Tolerate Murphy?"

"I don't know," Ila shuffled uncomfortably, "He's not always so bad."

"He's literally the worst," Octavia joked with her.

"Yeah, I know," the two laughed.

"You deserve better than to put up with his crap, though," Octavia turned to her, serious once more.

"I know, but, I don't know what to do," Ila frowned, saddened.

"Well, whatever you're doing, you're a saint," Octavia smiled at Ila.

"I wouldn't go that far," Ila half smiled back.

Shouts came from outside the dropship that slowly flooded the interior.

"I'll take a look," Ila suggested as she stood up, making her way back down the ladder as all of the delinquents rushed into the dropship – panicked. Ila caught sight of Murphy as he closed the door on the last person able to make it inside. She made her way through the cramped crowd toward him.

"What's going on?"

"Some kind of acid fog moved in, started to burn our skin and lungs," Murphy replied, out of breath from running inside.

"Is everyone here? What about Clarke? Bellamy?" Ila panicked.

"I'm sure they'll be fine," Murphy stated without looking at her. Ila stared a Murphy in contempt. As Jasper's groans and gradual shouts of pain continued to whither patience and grind nerves, Ila decided to distribute blankets, encouraging rest. The day began to wind down, hours passing of Jasper's groans. Once all was distributed, she sat at the top of the ladder, legs hanging freely as she watched people start to relax. Murphy stared at the ceiling as Jasper's condition continued to worsen.

"Don't even think about it Murphy," Ila stated firmly but quietly.

"He's just gonna die anyway. I just want to get it over with," Murphy sat up in his bed.

"Bellamy said we have to wait until tomorrow," Monroe grumbled, half awake.

Ila jumped down from the ladder, Monty quickly making his way up it.

"Yeah, well Bellamy's not here," Murphy retorted, standing up. Monty slammed the hatch to the second floor closed. Jasper shouted in pain from above.

"Murphy, don't," Ila put a hand to his chest to stop him. Another shout of pain.

"That's it. Get out of my way," Murphy tried to push past Ila, but she held onto him.

"Sit back down, Murphy," she shoved him back.

"He's dead already-"

"You'll be dead in a second if you DON'T. SIT. DOWN," Ila demanded.

Her cold stare was enough to freeze him in his place. He twisted his fists until his knuckles turned white, but he gave her a dirty look before retreating back to his bed, defeated.

Later that night, the group hesitantly decided to open up the dropship door, hoping to hell the acid fog had dispersed, which, fortunately, it had passed. Cautiously, the delinquents emerged and continued on with normality. Clarke's group returned along with Bellamy's shortly after things died down. Ila approached Clarke as Murphy approached Bellamy to update him on their situation.

"Jasper's still okay, but you need to hurry," Ila told Clarke, who then rushed to the dropship with Finn.

Ila turned to Bellamy, who had begun to shout at Murphy for insulting Octavia. He had him by the collar of his jacket, but Murphy kept a dead, expressionless face as he was scolded. Ila rolled her eyes and returned to their tent, grabbing her backpack. Murphy met her outside, looking agitated and slightly confused.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"Moving out," Ila replied, dead-faced.

"Why? Because I tried to kill Jasper?"

"Are you going to try and kill me, too, when I get sick, Murphy?" Ila tightened her grasp on her backpack strap.

"No, I-"

"I can't live like this, Murphy. I've dealt with too much death in my life already," Ila looked up at him, almost in tears. Her hair fell in her face and Murphy made to move it aside but Ila pushed past him.

"Fine!" he shouted, storming into his tent.

Ila sat down in her old campsite, biting her lip to hold back the tears. She looked up at the night sky and breathed in the cold night air. Stars shined bright overhead, millions, billions, trillions of white speckles of paint splashed across a navy velvet canvas.

"I'm sorry," Murphy slowly sat down next to Ila, slightly startling her, "For your loss as well…I didn't know."

Ila sat in silence, pulling her knees into her chest. A tear escaped down her cheek.

"You know," Ila started with a small laugh, "I guess I forgot for a while that…we're on Earth. And that feeling, it just all comes rushing back…and I know everything's going to be okay."

"What feeling's that?"

"All of them…and it feels like…freedom. It reminds me I'm still alive in spite of everything that's happened." Ila turned to look back up at the sky. Murphy continued to stare at her in admiration.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4: Hanging On**

The next morning, Murphy opened his eyes to an empty tent, the loneliness leaving a gash on his heart and pride, leaving his mood in bitter turmoil. He got dressed and exited his tent in search for Bellamy. Ila, meanwhile, had been awake for some time, helping Connor to build the wall that Bellamy hoped would protect against the grounders, but while carrying a log, Connor fell to the ground, exhausted.

"Hey!" Murphy came over after speaking with Bellamy, "Get back to work."

Murphy pulled Connor to his feet forcefully.

"I'm thirsty," Connor panted.

"I said-get back to work," Murphy ordered through gritted teeth.

Ila sat her end of the log down and pushed Murphy away.

"Quit it, Murphy. Either help or take your sexual frustration someplace else," Ila's words were a low blow, and she knew it.

"Wall's not gonna build itself," Murphy growled at her.

"It'll be useless if we're too exhausted to defend it," Ila barked back.

"Alright, you two, break it up," Miller interjected, "Ila get Connor some water, Murphy, come on."

"You son of a bitch," Clarke shouted, charging after Murphy. She was brandishing his knife for all to see.

"Hey, that's my knife. Where'd you find it?" Murphy was oblivious to her anger.

"Next to Wells, where you killed him," Clarke accused. The delinquents slowly gathered upon hearing this. Ila's eyes widened as her eyebrows furrowed in both anger and bewilderment.

"What? I didn't kill Wells," Murphy defended.

"He always talked about killing Wells," Connor pointed out, "You hated him!"

"Stop! Murphy was with me last night. He didn't do it!" Ila shouted over the angry roar of the crowd that began to close in.

"I bet you helped him!" Connor accused, signaling for someone behind Ila to hold her arms behind her back.

"Listen to yourselves! Stop this! This is wrong!" Ila screamed as the group moved in on Murphy, tripping him before he could escape, and beating him while he was down. Ila looked over at Clarke, who also began to panic that things had gone too far. Bellamy sat back as the scene unraveled. Ila's cries were inaudible once the delinquents began to shout, "Float him! Float him!"

They brought Murphy and Ila to a tall tree, draping a rope around a thick branch. A noose was tied at the end. Ila's heart pounded, jumping into her throat and her breathing became quick and shallow. Her eyes widened in fear. She started throwing her weight around in a fit. She felt as though her world was closing in around her, tightening around her body and she was screaming inside her own head. She watched as Murphy was gagged and propped up on a crate where Connor wrapped the noose around his neck.

"Bellamy, don't do this! We don't have to be this way!" Clarke pleaded.

"This is on you, Princess!" he told her before kicking the crate out from under Murphy.

"No!" Ila screamed so loud her lungs hurt. She kicked the knee of the guy that was holding her arms back, who then let one of her arms go. She swung her fist around, finding his cheekbone, knocking him to the ground.

"Stop! Stop it!" a young girl named Charlotte shouted with tears running down her face, "Murphy didn't kill Wells!"

Silence fell across the crowd.

"I did!" Charlotte admitted.

"God damn it, give me that," Ila grabbed Murphy's knife from Clarke's hand and threw it, snapping Murphy's rope. He dropped to the ground where Ila took the cloth from his mouth and removed the noose from around his neck, tears streaming from her eyes, her breathing unsteady and her hands shaking violently. Murphy gasped for air and wriggled about in pain on the ground. He choked and coughed as Ila grabbed his knife from the tree and unbound his hands. Murphy stood immediately.

"Charlotte!" Murphy choked out a raspy shout, "You bitch! I'm gonna kill you!"

Murphy stumbled, struggling to stand. Ila attempted to stop him as Bellamy took Charlotte off to safety.

"Stop it! Stop! You're-You're being irrational. J-just calm down," Ila pushed his shoulders back. Her crying was uncontrollable.

"Calm down? They tried to kill me! I deserve some goddamn justice! That little bitch deserves to die and BELLAMY KNOWS IT!"

"She's just a kid, Murphy! She didn't know any better!"

"Get out of my way!" Murphy pushed Ila aside, stumbling forward to Bellamy's tent.

The group left Ila behind at the tree, her hands soaked in Murphy's blood as they clutched the noose and his knife. She wiped her tear stained face that was puffy and red with the back of her sleeve. Her hands continued to shake violently as she focused on controlling her breathing. Once she had caught her breath, she dropped the noose and went after the group. She pushed her way through until she could see Murphy take a log to the back of Bellamy's head. She rushed forward to Bellamy's aid, patting the back of his head delicately – more blood on her hands. She helped him up, fortunately he was still conscious. As Murphy walked past them, she gave him a sharp, dark stare - a look of disappointment. Ila led Bellamy inside his tent, Charlotte already escaped with Clarke and Finn. She sat him down on his bed and took a cloth from his bedside. She dipped it into a bowl of water and dabbed it to the back of Bellamy's head gently.

"I'm so sorry about all of this," Ila spoke softly, words a bit shaky.

"Don't apologize for him. Don't you dare," Bellamy responded harshly. Ila flinched at his words.

"This is my fault. He was upset because I-"

"Ila, look at me," Bellamy turned quickly in his seat, looking up at her, "None of this is your fault. You didn't take a log to the back of my head. Murphy did. Murphy's the asshole here."

Bellamy stood up, heading towards the tent entrance until he paused.

"I gotta go find Charlotte…I'll be back," Bellamy turned his head back to her with half a smile.

"Be safe," Ila's voice broke as he exited, leaving her alone. She sat down on the bed, fiddling with the damp and bloodied cloth in her hands. She tried to wipe the blood from her hands but the water in the cloth only diluted the blood and spread it across her palms and fingers. Ila threw the cloth across the tent, agitated, temper rising. She rubbed and wiped her hands along her pants, hands sticky and grimy. She stood and exited the tent. The group had broken up a bit but people continued to murmur and whispered about the incident that had just occurred.

"Get back to work!" Ila shouted, dispersing the crowds. Everyone seemed to have listened as they returned to their posts.

Ila walked around, keeping an eye on the perimeter of the camp. She saw Clarke return with the group, all accounted for, save Murphy and Charlotte. Ila quickly approached Clarke.

"Clarke, where's Charlotte? Is she safe?"

"She jumped from a cliff…She killed herself," Clarke choked back tears.

Ila made to cover her mouth to stop a cry but managed to stop herself.

"Oh my god –and-and Murphy?

"We banished him from camp," Clarke stated with a serious frown. Ila's eyes widened.

"You what?"

"Ila, it had to be done – he was a threat-"

"And he's not a threat out there? Say these grounders _are_ hostile? They could use Murphy – he'll tell them everything – just to spite us – to get revenge on us for banishing him!"

"We didn't think about that…" Clarke said, concerned and thoughtful. Ila turned to grab her bag from her tent, followed by Clarke.

"Where are you going?" Clarke asked as Ila put her backpack on.

"After Murphy," Ila muttered irritably as she tucked Murphy's knife into the side pocket. Bellamy caught up to Clarke and saw Ila packing her bag with a blanket.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Bellamy stopped her.

"Let her go, Bellamy. Ila's going to get Murphy. She thinks the grounders can use him against us," Clarke defended her.

"I should have killed that son of a-"

"Well you didn't, and now I have to clean this mess up," Ila turned back to him as she zipped her bag up and threw it over her shoulder.

"No one asked you to…Let me come with you," Bellamy stepped forward as Ila started for the edge of the woods.

"I gotta do this on my own," Ila looked down. She turned to look a Bellamy, "I'll be back."

"This is stupid," Bellamy called after her as she began to leave.

"You're telling me," Ila whispered, out of earshot.

"Be safe," Bellamy said, his words lost to the woods.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5: First Kill**

Ila had picked up Murphy's trail, lost it, found a fake trail, lost that, and picked up Murphy's trail only to lose it again – about a hundred times.

"Where are you, you jerk?" Ila would mutter to herself. Her tracking skills weren't as good as she thought and someone was obviously messing with the trail – with her. It only meant that the grounders had found him already.

Days had passed until Ila came across a large statue and pillar – a man sitting in a chair that was enormous in size. Foot prints littered the grounds there. She was close. The sky was getting dark with overcast – slate gray clouds swirled with a threatening anger. Ila reached the grounder village, sneaking quietly, observing every detail around her. She watched each step so not to make noise – not that it mattered when the winds howled through the trees. She scooted quickly along the perimeter of their village, checking windows, observing the layout of the village, scanning each grounder for weapons as they hurried into their homes for shelter from the oncoming storm. She could hear a muffled cry come from below ground. Catacombs, perhaps, used as their dungeons? She moved in closer to see a grate along the ground. No entrance in sight. She removed her blade from her backpack as she moved in even closer. She listened as the grounders spoke in a different language as they walked by – not too far from English. She could make out something that sounded like the word prisoner. She followed them into a building, unseen as she slithered into the shadows. They went down steps, Ila waiting at the top, sneaking around once they had reached the bottom and turned. She lay low along the steps as she glided down them. Footsteps warned of an oncoming grounder. She held herself to the wall and as soon as he turned the corner she slid her blade through his throat, catching him so to let him fall gently and soundlessly to the steps.

She looked down at her blade that was soaked in blood, taking a deep breath before peeking around the corner. The hall was empty. She slid into the corridor that was lined with prison cells. Mostly empty, save one. The door was open. The two grounders she had followed were inside, standing before Murphy. He was bruised, bloody and beaten, one eye swollen shut and scars all over his body. Ila took a silent breath in, sneaking up, low, behind the two grounders, unseen. She took her blade and with a great swipe, slashed at the back of their knees. She watched them fall to the ground. Her second swipe took the head of one and a stab took the heart of the other. Their lifeless bodies dropped before Murphy, his good eye wide and frightened. He was curled against the wall in fear. Ila looked at him as he sat and watched her approach – his hands bound, mouth gagged. She cut the rope around his wrists, leaving grounder blood smeared against his hands, which were already caked in his own blood. He rushed to remove the gag from his mouth, coughing. He struggled to stand.

"Ila-"

She turned to him with an index finger to her lips. She moved toward the entrance of the cell and looked up and down the corridor. She signaled for him to follow, which he obeyed. The two went back the way she came in, up the steps, cautiously. Murphy observed the dead grounder on the steps as they passed – a large, hulking menace with a hole in his neck that still continued to spew blood that cascaded down the steps. They hurried up the rest of the stairs and exited the building without a hitch. Ila shoved Murphy into the bushes and they quietly escaped the village.

"They'll know I'm gone," Murphy whispered to her as they rushed past the statue.

"That's why we're still running. Come on," Ila urged him. Murphy struggled to keep up with her as she sped effortlessly through the forest. She kept watch around them, checking to make sure they weren't followed. The wind picked up and rain began to fall with gross ferocity. The water soaked into Ila's clothes, making them heavy and difficult to run with. She pulled Murphy into a cave as the rainfall picked up and turned into a hurricane.

Murphy sat against the wall of the cave, shivering. Ila shoved her backpack off, pulling her sweater off as well. She unzipped her bag and pulled out a blanket, replacing it with her blade. She threw the blanket to Murphy.

"Take your clothes off," Ila ordered.

"What?"

"Just do it."

Murphy obeyed and removed his shirt, revealing his wounds. Ila observed him as she took off her boots, socks and pants, leaving her t-shirt on. Ila scooted next to Murphy, taking a seat next to him. She covered them both with the blanket, their body heat quickly warming each other up. They sat shoulder to shoulder uncomfortably in silence. Ila could hear her racing heart in her ear start to calm down from running.

"Ila-"

"Please don't talk," Ila interrupted. Murphy snapped his mouth shut.

"Thank you," he murmured after a short moment of silence.

"I don't want to hear it," Ila shuffled, folding her arms.

"But why-"

"Because I don't need your thanks," Ila snapped at him before he could finish.

"No, I mean why did you rescue me?"

"What do you mean, _why_?"

"I wouldn't rescue me," Murphy buried half his face in the blankets to hide his blushing.

"I-I did it initially because I thought the grounders would use you to get information on us," Ila stopped.

"But I was already caught…So why bother finishing the job? Why bother risking your life?"

"…It's selfish…Never mind…Let's just get some rest while this storm is still going," Ila's face flushed red with frustration and embarrassment. She kept still and quiet for a while. Her eyes flickered to his neck, the bruise from the noose still visible. Murphy caught her staring.

"You've been acting weird since I was hanged…What's going on with you?" Murphy unburied his face from the blanket.

"I killed three people today. Want to make it four?" Ila threatened, "I can give you back."

"Seriously, Ila…What happened?"

Ila could not look at him, not immediately. She looked back to his neck, to the bruise. She then looked into his eyes, shivering.

"When my mother died, my father became depressed… _very_ depressed," Ila spoke slowly, "I came home one day and opened the door…to see him hanging on the end of a rope."

"I'm sorry."

Ila turned away from him.

"I've come to terms with his death – _both_ their deaths…but seeing him hanging there-"

"You don't have to explain."

The two went quiet as they both slowly fell asleep, the storm still raging on outside.

As soon as the hurricane died down, Ila was awake and getting dressed. She had run out to hunt for food and started a pitiful fire with the driest wood she could find. Murphy slowly opened his eyes as the smell of the flames made its way into his nose. He watched as Ila pulled her sweater back over her shoulders. She looked exhausted – as though she hadn't gotten any sleep at all. Her face was pale and her hands were shaky.

"Hurry up and eat. We need to get moving," Ila stated as she handed him a skewer of meet. She stamped out the fire as he pushed the blanket off of him. He took the skewer – a little too eager – and chomped down on it. Delicious.

Once fed and dressed – though clothes still slightly damp – the two snuck out of the cave. Ila, blade in hand, looked about for any grounders. Safe. The two began to head back at a quick paced walk, their strides wide but careful. Murphy would occasionally stumble over a tree root, bumping into Ila's pack.

"Watch it," she'd blurt out quietly. Her eyes continued to scan the forest, unrelenting.

"They won't let me go back to camp…so where are we going?" Murphy decided to break the awkward silence between them.

"I-I don't know," Ila admitted.

"I can't stay out here. The grounders will still be after me-"

"I _know_ Murphy…I know," Ila snapped back, turning to look at him but quickly calmed down, "We'll figure it out."

"And, hey…about last night-"

"Shut up," Ila crouched, pulling Murphy down with her, "We're being followed."

"What do we do?" Murphy asked, whispering.

Ila pulled out a knife from a side pocket in her bag.

"There's only one – for now. I can take him. Sit tight. I'm using you as bait," Ila whispered to him.

"Gee thanks. Just don't miss, okay?" Murphy stated sarcastically.

"Wouldn't dream of it, cupcake," Ila smiled at him slyly before disappearing into the brush.

"That's what I thought," Murphy blurted, unenthused.

The grounder closed in on an unaware Murphy. He went to grab him when Ila's knife flew into his neck. The grounder gave out a cry, one hand grabbed at the wound, alerting Murphy. He turned in surprise, but the grounder did not fall.

"Damn – missed," Ila muttered, frustrated.

Murphy took up a rock and beat it against the scrounging grounder's head. The grounder fell with a heavy thud – dead. Ila jumped down from the tree she had hid in and observed the kill, removing her knife from the grounder's neck and placing it back in her bag.

"Nice shot – but my point," Murphy joked. Ila shoved him as she saw more grounders headed their way. They broke into a run, Murphy with a small head start that Ila did not feel quite comfortable with. A grounder flew down from the treetops, grabbing Murphy and flew back up a wire.

"Murphy!" Ila shouted. She looked over her shoulder, three grounders gaining on her. She was nearly there – nearly back at camp. The grounders ceased chasing her once the dropship was in view. Ila slammed her weight against the door and slipped inside, falling to the ground in an exhausted mess.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6: Shots and Loneliness**

The communications system was back online. Ila had obviously missed a lot while she was away. There was even a new face among them – however that happened. Ila didn't bother to ask questions. She had even caught wind that they were holding a grounder prisoner on the second floor of the dropship…but he got away. Clarke had welcomed her back with open arms, especially since she hadn't returned with Murphy. She had considered going back out, but Clarke had given her a million and one reasons not to. So she stayed…and watched everyone take their turn on the system to talk to their parents and loved ones back home on the Ark.

Ila was bitter to say the least, over her failure to rescue Murphy but mostly over her loneliness. She had returned to camp covered in blood – drenched in it. It was a permanent stain in her clothes she couldn't wash out and people feared her – added with a great deal of respect and unapproachableness.

Rumor had gone around camp that she killed Murphy instead of attempt to rescue him. Ila wasn't sure if the reality or the rumor was worse. She had stolen Murphy's tent, reclaiming it after getting into a fight with Connor, who stole it first.

She had isolated herself. No matter which story people believed, they were either afraid of her, or hated her. Things were quiet. Ila was left alone and that was nice – except it wasn't. It was lonely. Even Bellamy avoided her for a while – Clarke's orders – as much as he wanted to interrogate her about the grounders and their village.

Clarke sat beside her as Ila drank some water by the dropship entrance. Ila had just finished making a sheath for her knife that could strap to her thigh.

"Don't worry. You'll get a turn on the communications system," Clarke smiled, trying to reassure Ila.

"No, I won't,' Ila frowned, looking into her cup that she continued to hold to her lips.

"What?" Clarke asked, confused.

"No family," Ila stated plainly, turning to Clarke. She put her cup down in her lap, squeezing it between her thighs.

"Oh…I'm sorry. I didn't know," Clarke replied, letting an awkward silence grow between them.

"I have a favor to ask," Clarke blurted.

"Sure," Ila took another sip from her cup.

"How are you with a gun? I heard you have a really good eye."

"My accuracy is alright, but I've never used a gun."

"I have a group that I need to keep an eye out for an attack while Finn, Octavia and I negotiate with the grounders," Clarke whispered.

"I'm in," Ila returned immediately.

"Really?"

"Clarke, I've killed grounders before. Whoever you're going with are going to need to know what they're up against," Ila stood, finished with her water.

"Great. I'll get Bellamy, Jasper and Raven together in Bellamy's tent and you can brief them before we leave," Clarke rose with her, heading into the dropship. Ila placed her cup by the water tank before heading to Bellamy's tent.

Bellamy was already there, reviewing a map of the area. He looked up at her, pleasantly surprised.

"Ila, what are you doing here?" Bellamy asked, straightening up.

"I'm here to help," Ila replied.

Jasper and Raven entered the tent behind Ila. They circled around the map that sat on a table in the middle of the tent.

"Raven, I don't believe you've properly met Ila," Bellamy started. The two girls nodded and smiled briefly at one another.

Bellamy began to discuss the plan. They were going to quietly follow behind Clarke's group to the bridge and hide along the forest line. He handed them all guns, Ila a sniper rifle with a built-in scope. It was heavy in her hands as she slipped the strap over her shoulder.

"Ila will be our eyes and tell us what to look for, but any sign of this going south and we have to attack to protect Clarke, Octavia and Finn.

"Grounders have only primitive weapons – spears, bow and arrows – but they know this land and they are strong. We have an edge with guns, but we don't utilize the environment like they do," Ila explained.

"What do you suggest?" Raven asked.

"They're going to have people in the woods, same as us. Focus on the trees on the opposite side of the bridge," Ila pointed out on the map. The group wrapped up their briefing and headed out.

As they started through the woods, they remained mostly quiet. Ila's footsteps could not be heard while the other three snapped twigs under their feet and shuffled through dead leaves. Ila tried to find the right way to hold her gun as they walked, positioning and repositioning her hands, trying to find her trigger dominant hand. Her right index finger fit the bill. Her supporting left hand had only needed to find the right spot to balance the weight.

"So…I hear you killed a man," Raven joked, smiling at Ila. She had hoped to strike up friendly conversation.

"Actually…I killed three," Ila returned the smile, but it made Raven uncomfortable.

"On the Ark?"

"No! God, no. Three grounders," Ila corrected her in a panic.

"Oh…well that's cool, I guess," Raven stated, feeling less awkward and more secure.

"I don't think killing people should be considered cool…" Ila frowned.

"Their grounders…not people," Jasper chimed in.

"Don't let Octavia hear you saying that about her boyfriend," Ila retorted, shutting Jasper up, "Grounders are still human beings."

"How can you defend them…even after what you've seen?" Bellamy turned to whisper.

"I can defend them _because_ of what I've seen," Ila stated thoughtfully. The group continued on in silence.

At the rendezvous point, Ila and the group arrived shortly after Clarke and they watched as three grounders astride horses approach them on the bridge, one of which dismounted. She met Clarke at the mid-point of the bridge. Jasper watched through his scope at the tree line opposite them while Ila observed the riders and the grounder leader talking to Clarke. Their conversation didn't seem to be going well according to their facial expressions. Ila had anticipated this, especially after going into one of their villages and killing three of their men.

"You were right, Ila. There are grounders in the trees," Jasper whispered, though began to panic.

"They're gonna shoot! Clarke! Get out of there!" Jasper shouted. He aimed his gun and fired at the tree line.

Ila scoped the grounder by Clarke, who was alerted and took out a knife to attack Clarke, but Ila shot her in the hand, causing her to drop her weapon. Bellamy and Raven began to shoot as well, as Clarke, Finn and Octavia retreated to the trees.

"Come on, let's move!" Bellamy lowered his gun and bolted into the forest after them. Ila followed closely with Jasper.

"That was a good call," Jasper told Ila as they continued to race through the woods back to camp.

"Thanks," Ila smiled.

"Nice shot, too. I caught that," Raven added. Ila beamed for a while until she was distracted by a sudden movement out in the woods to their right. She broke off towards the disturbance, separating from the group.

"Ila, where are you going?" Jasper shouted.

"I'll meet you back at camp!" Ila shouted in response.

She could see them, two bodies rushing by, one chasing after another. She spun her rifle's strap so it was behind her and grabbed the knife from the sheath that was strapped to her thigh. As she closed in on the chaser, she tackled him to the ground, holding the knife to his neck. The chasee stumbled and fell not too far off. Ila found herself sitting atop a grounder. He kicked her off, unarming her and retreated back into the forest. Ila picked herself up, grabbing her knife and closed in on the chasee. She stood over him, knife in hand until she saw his face. He quickly backed away from her, panicked, holding a hand up in surrender while holding himself up with the other arm.

It was Murphy.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7: Silent Screams**

"Bellamy! No! Don't!" Ila shouted as she stood defensively over Murphy in the dropship. Bellamy pointed his gun at Murphy through Ila, finger flirting with the trigger.

"I told you I'd kill you if you came back to camp," Bellamy growled at Murphy.

"I didn't come back, I was chased," Murphy spoke up, mouth dry and voice cracking.

"Bellamy, he's in bad shape already. Hasn't he suffered enough? Look at his fingers! He's been tortured!" Ila bent down beside Murphy, taking his hands up in hers gently.

"What did you tell them?" Bellamy was unrelenting.

"…Everything…" Murphy stated guiltily.

Bellamy's grip on his gun tightened, ready to shoot, but Clarke stopped him, putting a hand on top of his gun to lower it.

"Bellamy, stop. Murphy can tell us more information about the grounders, stuff Ila may not know," Clarke suggested. Her voice lowered as she leaned in next to his ear, "As soon as he's better, we'll question him…and then he's out of here."

Bellamy nodded in agreement and the two, along with Connor and Miller, left the dropship, leaving Ila and Murphy alone. Ila grabbed a cloth, dipping it into the water bin and wrung it out. She began to wipe Murphy's face clean of his blood until he flinched in pain.

"You need to clean up your act and prove yourself useful, Murphy, or they're going to kick your ass out of here again – and I won't be able to help you," Ila admitted.

"Why _do_ you keep helping me? I never asked you to," Murphy said with almost bitterness.

"There were times in my life when I needed help and didn't ask for it," Ila spoke with a soft, sad tone, "and I wish I had…not that anyone would have come running to help…"

"Ila, you're bleeding," Murphy pointed as her face. She wiped her nose on the back of her sleeve and smeared blood everywhere. Murphy suddenly lurched forward, coughing and vomiting up blood that splattered across the floor.

"Clarke!" Ila shouted.

Almost instantaneously, Clarke had entered the dropship, eyes dripping with blood.

"It's a virus. He wasn't chased here. He was led," Clarke stumbled closer to Ila, "It's an attack from the grounders – biological warfare."

"And Murphy's the weapon?" Ila turned to her, continuing to wipe the blood from her nose.

Clarke rushed to Murphy, pushing him to his side.

"What did they do to you?" Clarke began to interrogate him frantically.

"I don't know-"

"Clarke – stop," Ila snapped at her, "Maybe we can find a cure…Octavia…she has that grounder friend…have her ask him."

Ila's voice trailed off as she began to spout blood from her mouth, falling hard against the metal floor. She watched through blurry vision as three more victims came stumbling into the dropship. One of them seized, blood spewing from his mouth, nose and eyes. He lashed about until…dead. Ila was immobilized, weak and frail but on the inside her heart was pounding, screaming – as though she was trapped within herself. Someone covered her with a blanket but she could not tell who. She blacked out.

Sounds buzzed in and out of Ila's ears. She would occasionally open her eyes to count the bodies and would sometimes catch Murphy aiding them. He turned people on their sides when they coughed up blood, made them more comfortable, fetched them water. She would smile before dazing back off to sleep.

"Clarke," Ila heard Murphy's voice out of the darkness, "She's had this for a while now. I thought you said it passes quickly."

He was kneeling beside Ila, a gentle hand on her forehead.

"It does – it should have," Clarke said, kneeling on Ila's other side.

"Then why is she still sick?"

"I-" Clarke paused, "I don't know. It's like her immune system can't fight back."

"Is she – is she going to die?" Ila could hear the panic in Murphy's voice.

"Ila's strong, Murphy. I wouldn't worry," Clarke reassured him.

"Worried I won't be around to save your sorry ass, again?" Ila choked out a laugh, her eyes blinking open. Both Clarke and Murphy laughed at this, Clarke getting up quickly to fetch her some water. Clarke handed the cup to Murphy, who then held it to Ila's lips, carefully tipping it to pour water into her parched mouth. It soothed Ila's dry throat as she swallowed – a painful feat.

"Come on – let her rest," Clarke suggested with a small smile, patting Murphy's back. Ila watched Clarke leave the room, escaping to the upper level. Ila seemed as though she drifted back to sleep, her eyes closed heavily. She listened to Murphy pace around the room, checking on all the other kids. Everyone was asleep. Murphy grabbed a cloth from across the room and soaked it into the water bin. After wringing it out, he brought it over to Connor, who sat propped up in a corner of the dropship. Murphy covered Connor's nose and mouth and, with a forceful grasp, smothered him. Connor – too weak to fight back or even struggle for that matter, floundered under Murphy's weight until he stopped moving altogether – dead. Murphy stood up, walked across the room and laid the bloodied cloth over a ladder rung. He sat down on the opposite side of the dropship where he fell asleep.

Ila's eyes were wide awake, staring at Connor the whole time. She had managed to go unnoticed by Murphy. Her head screamed for help but her voice had betrayed her.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8: Suspicious**

Ila was the last to fully recover, but when she had, she felt like taking on the world. She awoke well rested in the dropship and stood abruptly. It was empty. Blood stained the blankets that littered the floor. She grabbed herself a cup of water, throwing it back before leaving the dropship. She searched the camp for Clarke. The wall was nearly completed.

She peaked inside Murphy's tent – empty – but her backpack was inside waiting for her. She grabbed it quickly before exiting, catching Clarke's attention.

"Ila! How are you feeling?" Clarke rushed over to her.

"Better. How are things going out here? What have I missed?" Ila continued to look about the progress they had made with the camp. Tunnels were made, more tents had gone up, a smokehouse, too.

"Octavia told us that the grounders were going to attack the day after the outbreak but it's been two days. Raven's bomb must have scared them off for now, but we're at war," Clarke explained.

"Bomb?" Ila laughed at the thought. Clarke nodded.

"How are our defenses? What's the plan?" Ila asked, giving her full attention to Clarke at this point.

"You'll have to go see Bellamy. He's just outside the gate," Clarke pointed.

"Thanks," Ila stated before heading off. She approached Bellamy, who was going around, helping others build the wall as he directed them.

"I hear there's a war coming – what's the plan?" Ila interrupted him. He turned to her with a surprised look. He was astonished to see her up and about.

"I'm glad you're feeling better. We're going to need you on the front lines when the grounders decide to attack," Bellamy stated, catching a glimpse of the smile that privately tugged on the side of Ila's mouth.

"We're going to need your aim out there to take out any grounders that don't get caught in Raven's mines," Bellamy continued.

"Mines? Bombs? Where the heck are you guys coming up with this stuff?" Ila laughed.

"Unfortunately, there isn't quite enough to cover the perimeter, which is why we'll need you," Bellamy remained serious.

"Got it," Ila stated, "If that's all, I'm going to go for a walk."

"Wait, wait, whoa, hold on," Bellamy said as he grabbed her arm, stepping in front of her, "Didn't you hear me? We need you _here_."

"And trust me – I will be – when the grounders attack. I won't be long, I'll be right back," Ila looked at him straight in the eyes with a smile on her face. Bellamy looked back apologetically, slowly letting her arm free.

"I know," Bellamy nearly whispered.

Ila smiled brightly at him before heading into the woods. The fresh green smells filled her nose as she could finally breathe again. She looked about after making a safe distance away from camp and set her backpack down on the ground. She closed her eyes and took in a deep breath.

Tiree' left leg – she released the breath. Fondu to tendu front. Grand ront de jamb back. Arabesque and ponshe'. Straighten up to tendu. Glissade, step, assemble', sisonn. Ront de jamb right foot back to fourth position, plie', tiree' and pirouette. (More ballet – but better)

Success. Ila smiled to herself but it quickly disappeared when she heard a twig snap. She spun around, quickly grabbing the knife out of the sheath on her thigh. Murphy emerged from the bushes, holding his hands up momentarily in surrender.

"How long have you been there?" Ila snapped at him.

"Long enough," Murphy said quietly, "I didn't know you danced. What do you call that?"

"It's ballet – Why are you following me?" Ila sounded irritated.

"I saw you leave camp. I wanted to make sure you were okay. Why so hostile?" Murphy asked, slightly offended.

"I know you killed Connor, Murphy," Ila stated bluntly – straight to the point. Murphy's face turned red as his eyes turned away.

"He tried to kill me!" Murphy blurted.

"He made a mistake, Murphy. You don't kill someone over it. And honestly, who in this camp doesn't want you dead? You've made your enemies," Ila barked at him.

"You're not my enemy," Murphy mumbled.

"Keep it up," Ila threatened.

"He was going to kill you, too! He thought you helped me kill Wells," Murphy defended.

"Learn to forgive, Murphy, or you might find yourself dying alone next time," Ila picked up her bag, swinging it over her shoulder. She replaced the knife back in its sheath. She shoved Murphy back towards camp.

"Are you going to tell anyone?" Murphy asked.

"I won't lie for you, Murphy. If they ask questions…"

As they got closer, they saw a great puff of black smoke rising from the camp. Upon this sight, they booked it back. They could hear shouts of anger – a verbal battle between Octavia and Miller.

"That was all of our food!" Octavia shouted.

Ila and Murphy returned inside the walls. The smokehouse was in flames, slowly dying down and charring all of the meat that was inside it.

"We're going to have to send out a hunting party," Bellamy announced. Kids started flooding into the armory that were interested in helping. Ila followed as Murphy returned back to his post – scaling fish. She was stopped by Clarke, who then handed her a sniper rifle and some ammo.

"Ila, we need you to stay here," Clarke determined.

"Oh…sure," Ila said, dejected.

"We need your eyes and aim here if grounders decide to move," Clarke explained. Ila nodded in agreement.

"We're relying on you to keep order while we're gone," Bellamy butted in after retrieving his own weapon. He handed Ila a pistol as well, which she placed into the back of her pants and strapped the rifle over her shoulder.

"Keep eyes out for grounders, keep eyes on everyone else. I may need more eyes," Ila laughed, but the joke did not carry with Bellamy or Clarke as they stared at her with serious expressions.

"That includes Murphy," Bellamy added, eyeing Murphy suspiciously as he and Clarke headed out.

"I know!" Ila called after them, but more quietly to herself, "Trust me…I know."

She walked over to Murphy, causing him to look up from his work.

"So you're in charge, now?" Murphy smiled slyly at her.

"Back to work, Murphy," Ila said more seriously.

"Yes ma'am," he smiled to himself as she walked away.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9: Let Them Talk**

The hunting party returned with little to no success. Many were attacked by grounders and had to hurry back with their injured. Bellamy was in a particularly foul mood, sent shortly over the edge when a gun went off. One of the guards on duty had fallen asleep and he accidentally pulled the trigger. Bellamy rushed at the boy who was startled awake, shouting at him. Ila rushed over, interjecting the fight.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Bellamy shouted at him.

"Bellamy, it's fine. Let him go rest. I'll take care of his watch," Ila calmly stated.

"It's not fine!" Bellamy turned on her, rushing off into camp in a furious rage.

"Ila, you've been working all day, you need rest, too," Jasper consulted Ila.

"I'm fine – he's not," Ila pointed at the poor boy Bellamy verbally attacked. His eyes were already starting to get heavy with sleep again.

"You aren't the only one defending us, Ila. Let me at least take over," Jasper insisted.

Ila stared at him for a moment, smiled, and nodded appreciatively. Jasper traded spots with her as she headed back inside the camp walls. On her way to her tent, she saw a circle of kids around two sparring. Murphy versus Miller…and Murphy was getting his ass handed to him. She watched their fight as the two boys were running thin on energy but still determined to win. They weren't using any weapons – just a fist fight. Murphy had a busted lip, Miller a shiner. Murphy ran after Miller, his right fist ready to take aim for his ribcage, but Miller side stepped him, nearly falling over to do so, though. Ila decided to step in as Miller attempted to counter. His right foot swung at her hip and she grabbed his ankle, stopping him. Miller stumbled onto his rear.

"Ow, what the hell, Ila?" Miller shouted.

"Pitiful. You are BOTH pitiful," Ila shouted for all to hear, "Miller, you're footing is pathetic. Stay _grounded_. You give yourself too many opportunities to fall over. Your enemy will use your own weight against you."

"And what makes you the expert?" Harper shouted in Miller's defense.

"How many grounders have you killed, Harper? Hm?" Ila snapped at her. Harper shut up.

"Don't fuck with Ila, Harper," Murphy added, causing Ila to turn on him next.

"And _you_! You might as well vocalize where you plan on punching Miller in the rib cage. You give yourself away, letting your enemy plan their defensive move and counter even before you can place the hit!"

Murphy turned red in embarrassment, glaring at her darkly.

"Then teach us if you're such an expert!" Miller shouted at her.

"I will," Ila smiled, as though she was waiting to be asked. She faced off against Miller first, her stance was strong, but her body felt weak. She looked over Miller's position across from her. He was approximately five feet away. His arms were held at waist height.

"Hold your arms up higher. They aren't going to protect you down there," Ila corrected him. He did as he was told and his fists nearly touched his jawline. His right foot was forward, pointed slightly outward and he was balancing on the ball of his left foot.

"Put your left heel down and straighten out your right foot…okay, ready?" Ila smiled before taking a left hook for his face. He leaned back as Ila went for his rib cage with a right fist, which he properly blocked with his left hand, countering with a punch with his right into her cheekbone. Hit. Ila staggered backwards, caught by Murphy. She smiled, wiping at her face.

"Good job!" Ila complimented him. The crowd clapped for them both.

"Thanks!" Miller said, grabbing her hand and shaking it. They nodded at each other.

"You're turn, cupcake," Ila said quietly, turning to Murphy. He blushed as he took his place across from her. He took his stance, which was already strong. Ila found nothing to correct. He beckoned him with a hand gesture and he ran at her. She watched him as he held his arms forward for a tackle and she side-stepped him. Frustrated, he turned, but did not see her foot thrusting into his stomach. He fell backwards on his rear but recovered quickly.

"Nice recovery," Ila commented.

Murphy circled around her, subtly closing the distance between them. He lunged forward, but held himself back, faking Ila out, who was now on edge. He went again and threw a fist at her stomach. She grabbed it, twisting his arm, which turned his back to her. He suddenly thrust his weight back against her and the two fell to the ground and rolled about to gain control. Murphy found his way on top of her, pinning her down.

"I'll teach you something yet, Murphy," Ila panted. Murphy smiled. He stood up, grabbing her hand to pull her up as well. The group clapped once again as they made their way out of the circle. Miller beckoned Harper to take him on and she shyly obliged.

Ila was out of breath and officially out of energy as the day grew tired and the night sky had taken over. The stars were bright over their heads as Murphy helped her back to her tent. As Ila bent her head into the tent, her feet gave out and the two stumbled into the tent side by side. They laughed delightfully. They turned on their backs.

"When did we forget that we were still kids?" Ila asked.

"Are we?" Murphy returned.

"Aren't we?" Ila propped herself up on her elbow, looking down at him.

Murphy shrugged indecisively. Ila looked over his face. It was bruised and still covered in scars that were recovering from the grounder interrogations. His eyes were tired and heavy, just as hers were, dark circles creeping along the bottom. She let herself fall slowly, her face and arm unintentionally landing on his chest. She blushed as her arm began to retreat, but she decided to leave it. She felt his heartbeat begin to race under her hand. It felt…nice. Murphy looked down at her, but could not see her face buried under her hair. He smiled, wrapping an arm around her. Ila repositioned herself and looked up at Murphy, catching him staring at her. She smiled kindly at him. Murphy looked away, embarrassed. He shut his eyes, beginning to fall asleep.

"I didn't say you could sleep here, Murphy…people might talk," Ila joked.

"Fuck 'em."


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10 - War**

The next morning, Clarke had returned at last with news that the grounders were on their way and that they needed to evacuate, much to Ila's disappointment. Everyone packed their things and stamped out all the fires. Ila looked about the camp before shutting the doors behind the last of them.

She clung to her sniper as the group trekked through the woods, wary of a grounder attack. Murphy watched her face – tense.

"You're still wearing that stupid bracelet?" Murphy struck up a quiet, friendly conversation, breaking Ila's tension.

"Huh? Oh…yeah, of course! This thing saved my life. Who knows when I'll need it again," Ila smiled, holding up her braced wrist. Suddenly, a blade flew through the forest from some unknown source – striking one of the kids in the face. With a stunned look, he fell to the ground, dead.

"Grounders!" Jasper shouted, distressed.

Panic ensued and the kids began to scatter back toward camp. Ila held up the scope on her rifle to her eye. She spotted the grounder – 500 feet away at least. She took the shot, bullet finding its way into his eye socket. Ila turned to run after the group, shortly followed by Murphy.

"Secure the perimeter! Don't waste any ammo!" Bellamy shouted from inside the camp walls. Ila approached him quickly – anticipating instructions.

"Ila, take the tunnels with Jasper and Monroe and pick off as many as you can. Retreat when necessary and secure the tunnels," Bellamy instructed.

"What about me?" Murphy asked. Bellamy paused to look at him, then to Ila.

"Go with Ila," Bellamy sighed reluctantly.

Ila nodded at Bellamy, reassuring him before running off into the tunnels. She was followed by Monroe and Jasper but Bellamy grabbed Murphy by the arm.

"Don't fuck this up," Bellamy stared darkly into his eyes as he placed a gun in his hands with some ammo.

Murphy glanced at the gun and looked up at Bellamy with a serious face. He nodded before running off after the group in the tunnels.

"Anything yet?" Murphy asked as he caught up to them at the other end of the tunnel. They were concealed behind the brush, guns poking through the branches.

"There's movement, but they aren't attacking," Ila responded quietly while peering through her scope. She watched as grounders moved like shadows through the trees in lateral patterns. Shots began to fire form the walls of the camp, none of which found their targets. Jasper pulled out his walkie talkie.

"Bellamy, they're wasting ammo! Ila says the grounders aren't even attacking," Jasper called into the walkie.

Bellamy's order to cease fire until the grounders attack rang out across all the walkies. A quiet hushed across the battlefield until a mine went off not too far away from their hideout.

"You didn't tell them about the mines," Ila whispered to Murphy, smiling at him.

"I didn't know about them until I got back," Murphy turned to her.

"So it's something we've got that they don't know about! We have the element of surprise!" Jasper whispered excitedly.

"Here they come!" Monroe pointed everyone's attention to the swarm of grounders brandishing weapons, headed towards their camp. Ila began to shoot each down with inexplicable accuracy, one bullet per head, one head every three seconds. When her clip was emptied, she dug into her backpack for more ammo, but before she could reload, grounders had found their hideout and started to attack the brush with their swords and axes. Murphy continued to fire, hitting each grounder.

"Monroe, head back to camp, now! Defend the walls!" Jasper ordered. Monroe retreated as the gunfire continued. Their cover was almost destroyed as Ila spun her rifle to her side, grabbing the pistol from her pants. She shot each grounder, one after another, eventually piling up the bodies.

"Jasper, they're gonna get in at this rate. Secure the tunnel," Ila said as the grounders ceased their attack.

"Wait, what about you?" Jasper made to turn but swung around to look at her as she started pushing bodies out of the way to the exit tunnel.

"I'll be fine – just go!" she demanded. Jasper ran off, Murphy watching him.

Ila jumped over the bodies, turning back to look at Murphy.

"What's it gonna be, cupcake?"

He turned to her, taking her outstretched hand and climbing out, over the fallen grounders. She helped pull him out.

"Let's kick some grounder ass," he pulled out a knife from his pocket. She pulled her blade from her bag. The two ran at the second wave of grounders charging for them. They stood, back to back, defensively. Mines continued to go off around them, eliminating most of the grounders that threatened them. With blade in one hand, pistol in the other, Ila slashed at the grounders with skill, hitting her targets each time.

As a grounder swung his sword down upon her, she held her blade to deflect but needed her second hand to support the weight that was forced upon her. She hooked her gun on the edge, but struggled to fight back. She angled her gun and shot the grounder in the face, pushing his weight off of her.

"You alright?" Murphy asked as he struggled to fight off a grounder with his knife. Ila swung around, out from behind Murphy, laying low. She drove her blade into the grounder's gut and Murphy punched him in the face, knocking him back.

"I need to reload. You?" Ila looked up at him.

"I'm good. I'll cover you. Just hurry up," he said. Ila released her blade, splattering blood across the forest floor and some across her face. Ila handed Murphy her blade and he took it after pocketing his knife.

She kneeled by his feet, quickly grabbing a clip from her bag and emptied the old clip from her pistol. She clicked it into place as Murphy slashed recklessly at a nearby grounder. Ila popped up and aimed – fire – right between the eyes, blood back-splashing into her face.

A grounder grabbed her from behind by the hair, ready to slice open her throat. Ila had dropped her gun but swung an arm at the grounder. The bracelet on Ila's wrist made contact with the side of the grounder's face. She could hear the jaw snap. The bracelet broke off from the force, falling open on the ground.

The grounder had been knocked back for a moment, letting go of Ila's hair. Ila had fallen, searching for her dropped pistol as the grounder closed in on her, spitting blood. Ila panicked, unable to find her gun, and started inching away. She kicked a foot at the grounder, missing. A gun shot rang in Ila's ear as she watched blood spill from a bullet hole in the grounder's temple. The grounder fell at Ila's feet. She turned to see Murphy, gun in hand, pointed at the grounder. Ila got back up on her feet, taking her blade back from Murphy. A reaper ran at them wildly, knife in hand. Neither of them caught sight of him coming, both already occupied. He slid the last few feet, closing in on Murphy who caught sight just a moment too late. As Murphy pushed Ila away, the reaper drove his knife into Murphy's leg. Murphy screamed in pain and pointed his gun at the reaper, shooting him in the heart. The reaper fell to the ground.

Ila had rolled onto the ground, quickly recovering as she turned, dropping her blade and grabbing her pistol. She shot and killed the two other grounders that had already been on them and ran back after Murphy after grabbing her blade and slipping it back into her backpack. As she slipped under his arm, the two watched as the dropship exploded the camp area with a blast of fire – incinerating all the surrounding grounders and reapers near it.

Ila carried Murphy back into the tunnel before the flames overtook them. She jumped inside first and helped pull him in, catching him before he could fall and hurt his leg on the way down. The two sat back against the inside of the tunnel, panting – out of breath and covered in blood, sweat and mud.

"Are we having fun yet?" Ila laughed.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11-Conditional**

The two sat in the tunnel for some time to rest, catching their breath. Ila was restless, though and twisted to get her backpack off. She rustled through it, tearing out some cloth and threw it at Murphy for him to tie it around his leg. He did so without a word as she rested her bag in her lap. She leaned her head back and closed her eyes after watching him tie off the cloth. Murphy looked up at her face. It was splattered with grounder blood. There was a bruise along her right cheekbone and a scar along her jawline. Mud was plastered into her hair. He looked down at her hands, which were still, unlike his trembling pair. Her fingers were littered with blisters and scratches, knuckles bloodied and raw. Her index finger still stroked the trigger on her pistol while her blood stained the cloth wrapped around the handle of her blade that was sticking out of her bag. He looked back to her face. She was smiling.

"You dancing in that head of yours?"

"Huh?" Ila opened her eyes slightly, smile disappearing.

"Do you always dance when you feel like you just escaped death?" Murphy remembered back to after she survived the virus.

"Do you always have to ruin a moment by being a dick?"

Murphy laughed, followed by a shot of pain in his leg that sent him grabbing at his wound, scrunching his face. Ila frowned with sympathy.

"Can you walk?" She asked.

"I don't know – I – I think," Murphy replied, unsure as he shuffled to get up. Ila stood, grabbing his hand to pull him up and wrapped his arm over her shoulder. Another shot of pain pulled Murphy back down, his weight dragging Ila with him. Ila repositioned him so he was more comfortable on the ground, but the pain did not cease. He groaned in pain.

"Tell me a time when it hurt more than this," Ila quickly blurted.

"What?"

"Whenever I'm in pain or feel sad, I think about a time that hurt more – be it physical or emotional. It reminds me that I made it through that so I can continue to move forward," Ila answered. There was a short silence and Murphy's mind captured the immediate memory that came to mind.

"I got the flu and my dad – my dad, he stole medicine to make me better and they floated him for it," Murphy started, still shaking in pain. His eyes turned bloodshot and teary.

"Good. Keep going," Ila urged him.

"Turns out, it didn't help anyway and – and after that…my mom, she started drinking…pretty heavily. I come home one day to find her sitting in a pool of her own vomit and – and she says, 'You've killed you're father,'" Murphy finished, tears crawling slowly down his face. Ila stared at him, eyes brimming with tears, but she held them back. Murphy was no longer shaking in pain.

"That'll do it," Ila's voice crackled as she stood back up. They tried again – more successful this time – and started their way back to camp in silence.

The camp had been torched – everything within the walls scorched and charred black. Grounder skeletons were scattered about the ground…and it was all too quiet.

"Where is everyone?" Murphy looked about. The dropship door was opened and Ila led him inside where they were greeted by gunpoint. Raven was lying on the floor, wounded.

"Raven, it's just us," Ila begged Raven to lower her gun.

"What the hell happened out there? Raven asked.

"I don't know," Ila said, laying Murphy down, "We were kind of hoping you'd tell us."

"Everyone's gone," Raven continued, "I don't know where they went."

Ila moved back to the exit of the dropship, peeking her head out from behind the curtain to see Bellamy and Finn enter the camp from one of the tunnels. She ran out to them.

"Bellamy! Finn!" Ila threw her arms around Bellamy, who hugged her back. Ila moved to Finn to hug him as well.

"Where is everyone?" Bellamy asked.

"I don't know – gone," Ila replied.

"Clarke?" Finn quickly followed up.

Ila shook her head, "Just me, Raven and Murphy. The rest have disappeared."

"I'm glad you're okay," Bellamy smiled.

Bellamy and Finn were soon followed by others that Ila did not recognize. She held up her pistol defensively as the intruders also held up guns. Bellamy held up his hands between them to stop both sides.

"Ila, don't. They're from the Ark," Bellamy shouted.

"What?" Ila lowered her gun.

"Marcus Kane," a stern man said as he approached her. She recognized him as one of the council members. He swiftly grabbed the gun from Ila, who then made a bitter face.

"I'm going to need your other weapon," Kane stated calmly, almost with a smile. That only irritated Ila more. Kane's soldiers entered the dropship to fetch Raven and Murphy.

"I don't think so," Ila replied.

"You're not in charge here," Kane's smile was wiped from his face.

"Trust me, sir. You'll need her-"

"I said you are no longer in charge here," Kane shouted over Bellamy. He held his hand out to Ila, frowning.

"Don't make me ask again."

Ila reluctantly pulled the strap over her head, handing her rifle to Kane with a dark and icy stare. Kane took it hastily and turned to his soldiers who began to carry out Raven on a stretcher. Murphy was looped over another guard's shoulders, face sour.

"Let's head out," Kane ordered.

Ila followed behind the group as they began their trek through the woods. Daylight shined down through the trees, illuminating the bloodshed that went on the battlefield. Ila's stomach growled and a pain of hunger took her. She grabbed at it, biting the inside of her cheek.

After some two to three odd hours of a silent walk, they reached a huge clearing, revealing a large chunk of the Ark that had fallen from the sky.

"Camp Jaha" read a sign at the edge of the land that lay in shambles. Hundreds were hard at work, patching things together. Ila searched the guards' faces, seemingly to find one in particular, but failed to recognize any. She – along with Murphy and Raven, were brought into a tent where a woman took a look at each of them in turn. She looked solemn as she looked over Raven.

"You're going to need surgery," the woman said as she moved on to Ila. Ila showed the woman her hands which she, herself had just noticed for the first time. Her blisters had been all cut open, scars running across her palms. Her bloody knuckles were a mixture of drying blood and scabs.

"What's your name?" the woman asked.

"Ila…Ila Domek," Ila answered.

"Domek…as in Althea Domek?" the woman stopped to look up into Ila's eyes. Ila nodded indecisively.

"My name is Abby Griffin. I treated your mother," she stated, face turning red, "I'm sorry for your loss."

"It's…it's alright. It was so long ago," Ila looked away. Abby cleaned up Ila's hands before she began to wrap them up. She moved on to cleaning up her face.

"I did everything in my power to save your mother. She was a fighter – which got her through the worst of it."

Ila smiled, tears filling her eyes. Abby smiled at her kindly.

"I can see she passed that on to you," Abby's words pushed Ila's tears over the edge. Murphy and Raven watched silently.

"I can't imagine what you kids have gone through," Abby finished cleaning Ila's face.

"Couldn't have made it without Clarke," Raven chimed in.

"You knew Clarke? Where is she?" Abby turned to each of them.

Ila and Raven shook their heads sadly. Abby frowned. She moved onto Murphy to inspect his leg disparagingly. Shots were suddenly heard outside the camp and Ila stood up, immediately stopped by Abby.

"Whoa, hey! Where do you think you're going?"

"Someone could be hurt, I have to help!" Ila replied seriously.

"You are ALREADY hurt. You need to rest. You are absolutely in NO condition to be up, and running around right now."

"She looks fine to me," Murphy winked at Ila. Ila smiled back at him.

"I said-REST," Abby demanded, pushing Ila back down. Ila made a sour face at her as Abby turned back to attend to Murphy. Once her back was turned, Ila bolted out of the tent, Abby shouting after her. Ila looked back to see if anyone was chasing after her and suddenly stumbled into someone in guard uniform.

"Sorry," Ila looked up at him and swallowed her words when she caught sight of his face. She backed away quickly, wide-eyed with fear. Screams filled her head as her heart pounded in her ears. Before he could recover from stumbling back, Ila had disappeared without him accepting her apology. She caught sight of Bellamy speaking with Kane and ran to him.

"What were those gunshots? What happened?" Ila sputtered.

"Are you okay? You're as white as a ghost," Bellamy stated, concerned.

"Young lady, shouldn't you be in the infirmary?" Kane asked sternly.

"I'm fine," Ila snipped. She breathed in heavily and let go of her frustration. The two looked at her, concerned.

"I'm fine," Ila repeated more calmly, "What happened?"

"Misfire with a gentleman that didn't know how to handle a gun," Kane replied.

"Of course," Ila muttered.

"When are we going to be able to search for our friends?" Bellamy asked.

"You kids aren't going anywhere," Kane replied seriously, "We'll have trained guards head out on a search party to find them."

"You guys don't even know where to look," Ila blurted impatiently.

"I'm not letting you kids risk yourselves out there when we have trained professionals-"

"We _are_ the trained professionals down here," Ila rudely interrupted. Kane gave her a cold, hard stare.

"Sir," Ila added, returning his stare with an equally, if not colder one.

"Ila's right, sir. We know this land. These are our people," Bellamy stated.

"They're my people, too. The answer is no," Kane said firmly before walking away.

"Go get the others and tell them we leave tonight," Bellamy told Ila as soon as Kane was out of earshot.

"Gladly," Ila smiled.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12 – Don't Sweat It**

Bellamy, Finn, Ila and Murphy managed to sneak out of camp that night with a little help from Abby, who supplied them with guns and an argument with Ila on how she shouldn't leave. Ila snagged herself a rifle that felt right at home in her hands, comfortably fit despite the wrapped up blisters. When Abby tried to hand Murphy a gun, Bellamy stopped her.

"Not him," Bellamy stated gravely.

"Bellamy, what the hell?" Murphy blurted, insulted.

"How is he going to defend himself, Bellamy?" Ila asked defensively.

"Not my problem. You might trust him, Ila, but I don't. He's going to lead us to the others and that's it," Bellamy replied.

Murphy pouted and neither he, nor Ila, argued with him. They continued on into the forest, led by Bellamy and Murphy's directions. Ila followed shortly behind Murphy, joined by Finn.

"I thought you two were out on the battlefield. Why didn't you stop the grounders from taking them?" Finn spoke quietly but darkly.

"Because we didn't see the grounders take them, Finn," Ila responded, irritated. She had shut him up until they had made it to the grounder village – the same one Ila had rescued Murphy from. They sat near the perimeter, a safe enough distance from the bustling. They each peered into their scopes, observing the area. Ila kept an ear out for any cries for help, but there were none.

"They're not here," Ila whispered.

"How can you know for sure?" Finn snapped at her.

"Because there were catacombs underground – prisons. There's an opening in the ground there. If they were here, we would have heard them," Ila explained, continuing to search the village with her scope.

"That one – the one with only one eye – look around his neck," Finn directed.

"What am I looking at?" Bellamy asked.

"Clarke's watch. It was her father's. She'd never take that off willingly," Finn growled angrily.

"Alright, we'll interrogate him. Ila, you go search the rest of the village just in case," Bellamy ordered, starting to shuffle off.

"What about me? Do I get a gun now?" Murphy asked.

"Something like that," Bellamy smiled evilly.

Ila snuck off, disappearing into the bushes, she glided silently around the perimeter of the village, scoping out every inch. After a complete runaround with no results, she caught sight of the one eyed grounder investigating a noise. She crawled up behind him as he closed in on the sound, travelling further and further away from the village. He made to turn around a tree and Ila quickly closed the gap between them, standing up and hitting the back of his head – hard – with the butt of her rifle. The grounder fell with a quiet thud to the ground. Crouching from behind the tree, Murphy peeked around, wide-eyed. He looked at the fallen grounder, then up at Ila. Bellamy and Finn bolted up from the bushes they were effectively hiding in and grabbed the grounder, dragging him away.

"We need someplace quiet to take him," Bellamy suggested.

"I know just the place," Finn responded as they continued.

Bellamy looked up at Ila, who gave a disappointed shake of the head, confirming she had found nothing. Ila followed them into an underground bunker where they tied him up to a chair. Ila felt dizzy and weak as she sat in a corner, watching Bellamy attempt to interrogate the grounder once he had woken up, but the grounder would not talk. Murphy sat down beside her, leaning forward. He handed her his canteen of water. She took it from him and sipped at it, the dizziness fading for a bit.

"Maybe you should try _not_ asking nicely," Murphy suggested.

"Shut up, Murphy," Bellamy shouted. Ila knocked him upside the head. Murphy shut up, but Finn took the suggestion seriously, holding his pistol to the grounder's head. Ila stood quickly, as did Murphy. Her grip tightened on the canteen.

"Tell me where the girl is that was wearing this watch!" Finn shouted through gritted teeth. Ila made to stop him but was held back by Murphy. She looked at him and he frowned, brow crumpled and concerned as he shook his head. Ila halted, turning back to look at the grounder, who was sweating profusely from the amount of pressure.

"You have three seconds," Finn snapped, cocking his gun.

"Finn, enough!" Bellamy shouted at him.

"1…"

Ila took another step forward.

"2…"

Murphy struggled to hold her back.

"3-"

"Alright! Okay! I'll tell you where they are, but I have to show you," the grounder begged.

Ila squinted her eyes suspiciously.

"Get him something to draw a map," Finn demanded as he continued to hold the gun to the grounder's head, staring at him unrelentingly. Ila sat back down, watching as the grounder took his time drawing a map to another grounder village. She leaned her head back against the wall, closing her eyes as she listened to Bellamy and Finn begin to argue.

"He'll tell them we're coming," Finn whispered.

"We're not going to kill him," Bellamy barked back.

Murphy stood up upon hearing this.

"Then what else are we going to do with him? Keep him down here? He could escape," Murphy sided with Finn. Bellamy and Murphy began to argue, voices slowly shouting to compete with one another, sending a headache pounding into Ila's brain.

A gun went off, startling Ila to open her eyes and jolt upright. She turned just as the grounder fell limply to the floor, a bullet hole blown into his temple. The room died with silence. Bellamy and Murphy stared at Finn in disbelief.

"Let's go," Finn said, replacing his pistol into the back of his pants. Murphy turned to Bellamy.

"And you thought I was the crazy one," Murphy mumbled as Finn made his way up the bunker ladder. Ila moved to follow him but her arm was grabbed by Bellamy. She turned to look at him, one hand already on a rung.

"Ila, you're looking really pale. Are you alright? Did you want to head back to camp?" Bellamy asked, concerned.

"I'm fi-"

"She's fine," Finn turned sharply.

Bellamy and Ila looked up at him, surprised. Ila let go of the ladder, letting Bellamy go up first as she wiped a cold drop of sweat from her brow. Murphy squeezed her hand before going up the ladder himself. Ila took another swig of water before climbing back up. She pulled herself out, Bellamy grabbing her under the arms to assist her. Once out, she pushed the bunker door shut with a slam.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13 - Gaining Trust**

"Guys, wait. I need a minute," Ila panted, bent over, hands grabbing her knees.

"We don't have a minute-"

"Finn, she's exhausted, just give her a _minute_ ," Murphy defended.

"We don't have time! Our friends are out there!" Finn stated angrily.

"You think we don't know that? You think Ila doesn't know that?" Bellamy barked.

"It's fine," Ila interrupted, standing up straight, fed up with the arguing, "Let's just go."

A faint shout echoed out a short distance away.

"Hey, did you hear that?" Murphy asked. When another call for help rang out, the group rushed toward the sound and came across a piece of the Ark that had crashed into a cliffside. It was a disastrous sight – most of it still on fire, crumbling into the waters below. The group peered over the edge where a girl about Ila's age clung to a tree that grew off the side of the cliff.

"Help me! Please!" the girl pleaded. The group leaned back, all except Ila who watched over her.

"Bellamy, we don't have time for this," Finn said, irritated.

"What's your name?" Ila shouted to the girl.

"Mel. Please, please don't leave me," Mel begged.

"I'm not going to leave you, Mel. We're going to help you," Ila replied reassuringly. Finn sighed, exasperated, given up the fight.

"Look for anything we can use as rope," Bellamy ordered.

Ila looked back at the boys as they scrambled to gather seatbelts that had survived the crash, littering the area with debris. They tied together everything and created a loop at the end that Bellamy started to climb into.

"Bellamy, I'm lighter. Let me go," Ila offered.

"It's too dangerous," Bellamy frowned sadly.

"And you're more valuable to this group than I am. Let me do this," Ila argued.

"Ila-"

"I can do this, Bellamy."

"I was going to say – be careful," Bellamy said as he stepped out of the rope and handed it to Ila.

Ila wrapped the makeshift rope around her and climbed down along the edge of the cliff. As she began to disappear from sight, she could see Murphy frowning – worried. Ila was lowered down closer and closer to Mel until she was right beside her.

"Alright, that's enough," Ila called up. The boys ceased lowering her. Ila inched herself closer to Mel, using her fingertips to push herself along the rocks. Her feet found a small ledge and she reached out a hand to Mel.

"It's okay, Mel. I've got you now. Just put your arms around me and we'll pull you up," Ila encouraged her.

"I can't!" she cried, clinging to the branch.

"Yes you can! You can make it. I know you can! We can get through this – together," Ila continued to encourage her, holding her hand out, still.

Mel grabbed her hand and Ila wrapped it around her shoulder. She grabbed Mel around the waist as Mel wrapped another arm around her, balancing their weight between the rope and the ledge – but the ledge gave out beneath Ila's feet and the rope tugged down, digging into Ila's body. The girls gave out a frightened scream as the boys caught their weight again, hurrying to desperately pull them back up.

"We got you! We got you!" Ila could hear Murphy call out.

The buckle on one of the seatbelts gave out, though, and the girls plunged three feet down, screaming. As Bellamy and Finn were blown back by the release, Murphy was left to hold up the weight, tangling his arms up in the rope and digging his feet into the ground. Bellamy and Finn quickly recovered and jumped back onto the rope, pulling the girls back up again. An arrow narrowly missed Finn's head, landing in the ground beside him.

"Grounders!" Finn shouted.

"Finn, take care of them! Shoot for the tree line!" Bellamy ordered.

Bellamy braced himself as Finn let go of the rope to take up his gun and start shooting at the source of where the arrows raining down upon them came from. An arrow found its way into Bellamy's leg and they lost a little more leeway, dropping the girls another two feet. A horn sounded, halting the attack and prompting Finn to help Bellamy and Murphy pull the girls up the rest of the way.

Ila helped Mel up first, before Murphy pulled her up the rest. Ila slunk to her hands and knees, panting. She looked up at Murphy and saw his hands tangled – nearly crushed in the buckle. She nodded to him in silent gratitude and he did the same. Bellamy pulled the arrow out of his leg when Octavia emerged from the woods, holding a horn. Bellamy looked up at her, his face filling with surprise and relief. He stood up and limped over to her, hugging her in a great embrace. He thanked her, whispering in her ear.

"You've been hit," Octavia pointed out, disappointed. Bellamy limped, turning to the rest with a sad look.

"We need to get you help," Octavia demanded.

"I know, but," Bellamy stopped.

"Bellamy, go back to camp with Mel," Ila decided, "We'll finish this."

She stood up and walked out of the rope, over to Bellamy. He handed her his gun.

"Make sure they behave."

"I'll do my best," Ila patted his shoulder, running off to get the other two boys. Mel stopped her, hugging her.

"Thank you," Mel whispered into Ila's shoulder, then ran off after Octavia and Bellamy. Ila started back on their trail with Finn and Murphy.

"Bellamy doesn't trust me to go alone with Finn?" Murphy asked.

Ila slipped Bellamy's gun into Murphy's hands as they followed behind Finn.

"What's this?"

"We don't trust Finn," Ila replied.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14 – On Murder and Dying**

Finn, Ila and Murphy had approached the second grounder village similarly to the first. They hung back by the perimeter, scoping things out.

"Finn, these are civilians. They aren't exactly the type to keep hostages," Murphy commented quietly.

"I don't see our friends, either," Ila added.

"They could be hiding them underground," Finn replied, eyes glued to his scope.

"Or that grounder you shot in the face was lying…because…you know…that's a possibility," Ila stated irritably, but Finn ignored her. A sudden pain overtook her, surging through her whole body. Her legs went weak and she winced, retreating from her scope. It felt as though all of the muscles from her waist down tied themselves into knots and became increasingly tighter.

"I've got a plan," Finn stated before diving forward toward the village.

"Finn!" Ila shouted after him, under her breath. Murphy started after him but noticed that Ila did not move.

"You coming?" he asked.

"I'll hang back and keep an eye on you guys. I'll come in and rescue you if things look like they're going south," Ila struggled to fight the pain.

"Are you okay-"

"Go before you lose Finn," Ila urged.

Murphy turned and followed Finn reluctantly as Ila forced herself to return her attention through the lens of her scope. She watched Finn as he closed in on the unaware village, struggling to see in the darkness of the night. The grounders had already retreated to their homes for the night.

Ila's head began to feel light and she took her focus off her scope for just a moment. She focused on steadying her breathing. A sudden burst of flames that set a building on fire snapped Ila's attention back to the grounder village. Finn did have a plan. Ila admitted it was even a smart plan. The grounders rushed out of their homes to cooperatively put out the fire. Ila watched through her scope once more as she saw Finn and Murphy maneuver around the village, undetected, to check the homes and buildings. They rushed from one to another.

"Look out!" she whispered, aware that they couldn't hear them. They were caught by one of the villagers who announced their presence. Finn grabbed him, putting his gun to the elderly man's back, threatening the other grounders not to attack. Ila began to panic as the grounders were rounded up into a fenced in area in the center of the village. She stood up, deciding enough was enough. She readjusted her backpack straps and hobbled her way towards the village, each step a stabbing ache. Sweat dripped down her forehead as Finn's shouts became easier to make out.

"Where are they? You have their clothes. You know where they are!"

As Ila got even closer, she could see a wild look in Finn's eyes. He had his gun pointed at a girl as he climbed into the corral. Ila tried to rush, but her pains only got worse with each step and she got slower.

"Finn! Stop! Let's just go while we can still get out of here," Murphy shouted at him.

Finn loosened his grip on his gun and retreated out of the corral, but an elderly man started to climb out as well. Finn quickly turned, surprised, and shot the old man down. This prompted Ila to get herself together, ignoring her pain and quicken her pace. Another, younger grounder, not much younger than Finn himself, decided to attack, but was shot by Finn. Ila rushed forward. Blood began to trickle down her leg.

"Finn! Stop!" Murphy shouted over and over as bullets flew, massacring the grounders. Ila finally reached them, but it was too late. She fell into Finn, knocking the gun from his hands. The panic around them hushed and she could make out figures coming over the ridge into the village. She could see Bellamy, Octavia and…Clarke? She couldn't tell as she fell, faint, to the ground.

"Ila!" Murphy's voice rang out. He, along with everyone, ran to her side, kneeling or crouching beside her. The grounders that were still alive remained in the corral, too scared to move at this point.

"Murphy, don't move her!" Clarke demanded.

"What's wrong with her? Clarke what's happening?" Murphy panicked. Ila's breathing was shallow as Clarke began to inspect her up and down, suddenly going wide-eyed and pale with fear.

"Clarke, what is it?" Bellamy asked quietly, attempting to remain calm.

Clarke carefully pulled off Ila's backpack, propping her against it.

"I need towels and water, quickly!" Clarke shouted as they did not budge at first. Bellamy shot up with Octavia and ran off in search for towels and water.

"Clarke, what's going on?" Murphy asked, nearly in tears.

Clarke looked up at him with a solemn face.

"She's having a miscarriage," Clarke's voice shook.

"What?" Murphy blurted in disbelief. He looked over Ila, her limp body white from blood loss. Her pants were stained and wet with blood that ran down her inner thighs. He shut his eyelids tight to force back the tears. Bellamy and Octavia returned with Clarke's supplies and Clarke asked them all to give them some distance. Reluctantly, Murphy let go of Ila's hand – unsure of when he even grabbed it. He gave Clarke and Ila their space as Clarke tended to her – humming a delicate and sad tune as Bellamy watched the grounders eye them sadly.

Once Clarke had cleaned Ila up, the group quickly returned to Camp Jaha where Abby took a look at her in the infirmary tent. Eyes had stolen glances at her as Murphy carried her inside. He rested her on a table and left as Abby cleaned her up. He paced outside the tent impatiently.

"She'll be okay, Murphy. She's strong," Bellamy assured him.

Abby exited the tent, turning to Bellamy and Murphy, smiling.

"She'll be fine in a few days, but she needs to rest. The damage was minimal, but there was still quite a lot of blood loss," Abby reported, "You can go in to see her for a bit, but she's still sleeping."

"Let her know I'm going with the group to Mount Weather to find everyone," Bellamy nodded to Murphy before going his own way to find Clarke. Murphy nodded in return as he rushed in to see Ila sleeping under some blankets. The color had returned to her face. She looked peaceful – no longer in pain. He sat down in the chair beside her for a moment, taking her hand in his. Now that they were alone, he let his tears fall.

"You were going through this the whole time…alone. You could have told me – or anyone. Stupid! You didn't have to go through it all alone, though! They care about you…I care about you. You could've died because of this. I wouldn't – I wouldn't know what…You would have left me alone," Murphy cried. He lay his head on her arm, sniffling.

"I can't lose you…what you said to Bellamy on the cliff…It's not true. You're more valuable than he is – than all of them. You're the only person I can stand."

"I'm the only one that can stand you, you mean," Ila voice crackled to life.

Murphy jolted his head upright, wiping his tears quickly as he looked at her. Ila blinked her eyes open, smiling at him. He smiled brightly back.

"Please tell me you didn't hear all of that," Murphy chuckled. Ila choked out quiet laughter at him.

"I thought that was you I ran into the other day," a smug voice came from the entrance of the tent. Murphy turned to see an officer standing before them, probably in his late twenties. He was tall and rugged, arms crossed with a smirk sprawled across his face. Ila scowled at him.

"Who are you?" Murphy asked, slightly irritated.

"Officer Royson," he brushed Murphy's question off, leaning against some machinery and cocking his head, causing a brunette strand to fall in his face.

"You know, I thought for sure she wouldn't make it after being sent down here, but here you are – still kicking and breathing," Royson continued with a slight snarl in his voice.

"You did this…"Murphy began to piece things together, his rage rising.

"Like I wanted this to happen. Not my fault she couldn't even carry it. She should be dead – floated," Royson snapped back.

"It was you – she tried to kill you…because of this?" Murphy continued to fit things together.

"She didn't tell you? Probably thought you wouldn't believe her just like everyone else, right Ila?" Royson's smug look irritated Murphy even more-so. He stood abruptly.

"You son of a-"

Murphy was stopped as Ila weakly squeezed his hand. He turned to look at her as she was shaking her head at him, scowling. Murphy turned back to Royson, approaching him.

"You're lucky she's letting you live. And if you EVER so much as look at her – or THINK about her – I. Will. Kill. You," Murphy threatened, "Now get the fuck out."

Royson stared darkly into Murphy's icy stare for a moment before starting to leave the tent.

"Hey Royson," Ila spoke up, causing him to turn back to look at her, "How's that cracked rib? Probably still can't laugh yet, right, Royson?"

"Bitch," he muttered as he exited.

Murphy returned to Ila's side as she began to sit up in her bed. Her body felt stiff as she moved around and when Murphy tried to help her, she put a hand up to stop him.

"I think you've done plenty for today, cupcake," Ila smiled to herself.

"Yeah, well, I can see why you tried to kill that guy. He's got another thing coming."

"Pretty sure that was the nicest thing you've ever done like…ever," Ila laughed. She propped herself up.

"Thank you," Ila looked up at him. Murphy blushed, eyes shifting nervously around the room. He had seated himself on the edge of her bed. Her face turned suddenly red, eyes wide.

"Oh my god! Clarke! I totally forgot! She was there. I saw her. Why was she there?" Ila turned to Murphy for answers.

"Oh yeah, it wasn't the grounders that took everyone else. It was the people inside Mount Weather," Murphy replied.

"People _in_ Mount Weather? It makes sense, now…We didn't see the grounders take them because they didn't. Where is Clarke now?"

"Going back to Mount Weather. She and the rest of the gang left this morning to go rescue everyone," Murphy explained.

"Damn it!" Ila slammed the sides of her bed with both fists, "Why didn't you go with them?"

"I wanted to keep an eye on you," Murphy admitted, looking away. Ila shoved him playfully, but tears started to spill down Ila's face uncontrollably.

"What did I do?" Murphy panicked.

"Nothing…I'm just…I just…I didn't want it…but I didn't…" Ila cried, placing her arm across her waist.

Murphy stared at her with a sad expression, not entirely sure of what to do, or understanding of what she was going through. Ila just cried persistently, face turning red and puffy.

"It's fine…you don't have to explain," Murphy whispered into her ear, laying his head on her shoulder as she continued to cry.


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15 - Kiss of Death**

Well rested after a full day of lying down in the infirmary, Ila insisted on being up and about, despite Abby's orders. She was particularly adamant about it once Clarke's group returned unsuccessful with Mount Weather and baring a message from the grounder commander via Chancellor Jaha – leave or die. Orders flip flopped over the course of the day as Chancellor Abby decided not to evacuate when Clarke gave another option.

But Ila was never involved – only listening to the rumors that spread around camp. She was confused as to how she became left out of the loop, ending up sitting in the infirmary all day when Abby caught her out on the grounds. Murphy peeked into the infirmary tent and whistled. Ila smiled, standing up, and snuck out of the tent before Abby got there to make her inspection.

"Come on," Murphy smiled at her, taking her hand. He led her into the Ark, twisting through the hallways at a fast pace.

"Murphy, where are we going?" Ila asked, slightly irritated. Murphy stopped at a closed door and turned to her.

"I know you've been upset lately because you don't get to play with the other kids any more – but I figure we can still go on our own adventures and – you know – _be_ kids," Murphy said as he opened the door. He entered a cleared out room and led her inside. The lights clicked on.

"What is this?" Ila asked, still unsure and unconvinced.

"Given recent events, I thought you might like a nice space to dance it out like – you know – you do."

Ila stepped further into the room cautiously. She turned to look at him and he smiled, retreating out of the room.

"I'll leave you to your, um-"

"Wait!" Ila called after him as he turned the corner. He leaned back to poke his head through the doorway.

"Stay," Ila suggested.

Murphy raised his eyebrows, entering back inside the room, arms crossed.

"Really? I mean…You're sure you want _me_ to watch?"

Ila nodded sweetly. Murphy leaned against the wall, closing the door behind him. He propped a foot back against the wall behind him.

Ila took fifth position. Demi plie, demi plie. Sou-sou with arms in raised fifth position. Plie down. Glissade, turn, glissade. Pirouette and land in fourth with right leg back attitude to arabesque. Tendu and combre back. Pique turn back across the floor. (More complicated ballet stuff)

Ila became dizzy halfway across the room and veered off course, nearly falling over. Murphy quickly pushed himself off the wall and caught her. The two laughed as they collided into each other's arms.

"Feel good to be a kid again?" Murphy smiled.

"It feels good to be _free_ again," Ila corrected, looking up at him and straightening up. Murphy continued to hold onto her though. She swayed with dizziness. She placed her arms on his shoulders to steady herself as he slid his hands gently onto her hips. Their faces leaned closer together, but before their lips could touch, the door opened and a guard entered the room. Ila and Murphy separated abruptly, embarrassed.

"What are you two doing in here? Get out!" the guard shouted at them, shooing them out of the room. Ila and Murphy ran out, hand in hand, chuckling.

They exited the Ark and lost their childish charms as they watched Clarke return from speaking with the grounder commander. Several were gathered at the gate, anxiously awaiting what she had to say. Ila let go of Murphy's hand, squeezing her way to Clarke.

"Clarke!" she called out. She continued to shove her way through, but managed to catch Clarke's attention. She finally approached her, along with Abby, Finn and Raven.

"They've accepted our truce," Clarke told them.

Eavesdroppers nearby cheered, spreading the good news. Clarke dropped her voice though, "Under one condition…we give them Finn."

Ila stared at Clarke in disbelief.

"What?" Raven blurted out.

"I say we give him to them! I'm not dying for him!" shouts came from all directions, slowly closing in on them. Ila slunk back from the crowd, escaping the chaos that ensued. A hand grabbed her by the shoulder, turning her around. Murphy took her away from the crowd, back towards the Ark. They watched as Clarke and Abby struggled to get Finn away and the guards managed to eventually disperse the rowdy civilians. Major Byrne approached Ila and Murphy, a stern look upon her face.

"You know how to handle these?" Byrne asked, holding out two guns – an automatic and a sniper.

"Yeah," Murphy chuckled, grabbing the automatic.

"They're not toys," Byrne scolded his laughter.

"We know," Ila stated coldly, taking the sniper. She pulled the strap over her head, swinging the gun to her side. Byrne left them with a sour face, obviously begrudging having given _them_ guns. Ila spotted Finn sitting beside the entrance of the Ark, head resting in his hands. She made her way over to him, shortly followed by Murphy.

"Don't look so guilty, Finn. It's not your fault grounders are unreasonable traditionalists," Ila attempted positivity. The two sat beside him.

"We've kicked grounder ass before," Murphy reassured him.

"A lot of people _died_ before," Finn reminded him. Clarke and Bellamy approached them cautiously.

"They've increased the security around the perimeter, but we should get you inside where you'll be safe," Bellamy suggested to Finn.

Frowning, Finn got up and followed him inside.

"Any orders for me, Princess?" Murphy asked, standing up as Clarke passed them.

"Stay away from me," Clarke snapped at him darkly.

"He's just trying to help, Clarke," Ila defended him.

"Where were you when Finn attacked those grounders, Murphy?" Clarke hounded him.

"Look, I tried to stop him-"

"You didn't try hard enough!"

"Hey! I was there, too! Murphy tried. There's not much we could do with your crazed boyfriend with an automatic rifle going off. What did you want us to do? Shoot him?" Ila barked back at Clarke.

"I didn't expect you to do anything, You weren't in the right condition to-"

"Enough! Enough. I've had enough. Stop blaming Murphy for something none of us had control over, Clarke," Ila shouted. They were face to face, both scowling at one another.

"Stop protecting him," Clarke growled.

"Stop protecting Finn," Ila replied through gritted teeth. She turned sharply, storming off to anywhere away from Clarke.

The next morning, Chancellor Abby had officially declared war on the grounders, not planning to give up on Finn. Ila was instructed to watch the perimeter with Murphy as Abby walked past her, after announcing to the grounders their final decision. When she had caught sight of Ila, though, she approached her, furious.

"Who gave you that gun? Who instructed you to take watch?" Abby asked, snapping one question after the other.

"Byrne-"

"Give me your gun."

"What?" Ila's grip tightened on her rifle.

"You're still unfit to defend us. Hand it over."

"Abby, I'm fine!" Ila shouted.

"As your Chancellor, I am ordering you to hand over your gun and give up your post," Abby demanded, holding her hand out.

"I'll give up my post, but I'm keeping this gun. We're at war," Ila negotiated.

"Fine," Abby compromised as Ila began to walk off, "As you doctor – please rest, Ila."

Ila ignored her as she passed Raven, who awkwardly smiled at her. Ila turned her head to watch her approach Murphy. Curious. She continued walking, tightening her grip as she walked past Royson who dared not to look at her. She loosened her grip as he left her peripherals.

"Ila!" Murphy called after. She turned and stopped when she saw that he was running to catch up with her.

"Raven, Clarke and Bellamy are sneaking Finn out to the dropship and Raven asked me to go, too," Murphy panted quietly, "Wanna come?"

"I just walked past her…why didn't she ask me?" Ila asked, curious. Murphy shrugged. Ila thought for a moment before answering.

"Sure. When do we leave?"

"Right now. Raven says she just deactivated the fence or whatever so we gotta move out," Murphy replied, tugging on Ila's arm for her to follow. She did so as they travelled to a secluded part of the edge of camp, but they were followed by Byrne.

"How do we ditch the stiff?" Murphy whispered to Ila.

"Follow me lead," she whispered back as they turned behind the infirmary tent. Ila pushed Murphy against the wall gently and leaned in, pressing her lips to his. Murphy was surprised at first, his eyes widened as she kissed him. After a few moments, he wrapped his hands around her waist, closed his eyes and kissed her back. Once he had reciprocated her kiss, Ila became more passionate, pressing her body against his, running her hands through his hair.

"What are you kids – oh Jesus! Never mind," Byrne poked her head around the tent, interrupting their make-out session. Disgusted, she retreated, leaving the two alone again. Ila pushed herself off of Murphy once the coast was clear.

"Okay, let's get going," Ila stated, a little flustered, pulling her sweater back into place. As she made to move towards the fence behind her, though, Murphy grabbed her arm, pulling her back.

"Wait," he whispered, pulling her back into his arms. He kissed her one last time, passionately before letting her go.

"Ya good?" Ila asked, blushing, and he nodded, "You sure?"

"Let's go," Murphy smiled like a fool. He eyed her as she crawled through the wire and followed her through. They slipped into the woods, undetected, and made their way back to the dropship, alert for grounders that could possibly attack. Ila looked about the forest, breathing in the familiar green smells, damp soil, tree bark and freshly fallen leaves. It felt good to get away.

"So does this make us a thing?" Murphy asked.

"Quiet!" Ila shushed him.

"So does this make us a thing?" he repeated, whispering this time. She turned to look at him, unamused, as they continued walking.

"I'll take that as a yes," Murphy smiled slyly as she turned back around, rolling her eyes.

"I'll take this gun and shoot you in the ass if you don't shut up! Then you'll understand how much of a pain in the ass you are!" Ila whispered, agitated. Her face went entirely red from blushing.

The two continued the rest of their journey to the dropship in silence. They opened the gate to their old camp – nothing inside had changed since they had left.

"Brings back memories, doesn't it?" Murphy whispered to her.

"I should have died at least twice behind these walls," Ila replied quietly.

"I was thinking of other memories, but whatever, Debbie downer," Murphy stated, dejected, eyeing his burned down tent as they approached the dropship. He pulled back the curtain of the dropship, letting Ila enter first, who was greeted at gunpoint by Raven and Bellamy.

"Déjà vu," Ila laughed, holding her hands up, same as Murphy.

"What are you two doing here?" Bellamy asked, lowering his gun,

"I believe we were invited," Murphy answered.

"Yeah, you were, but she wasn't," Raven growled at him, lowering her gun a bit delayed.

At that moment, Finn burst into the dropship, carrying a fainted Clarke in his arms.

"We got attacked," Finn panted as he placed Clarke gently on the ground. Murphy ran to get water for her. Her head had been bashed by a blunt object. Bellamy ran to the entrance, poking his head out the dropship doorway, peering through his scope to check the area for grounders that may have followed them.

"Anything, Bellamy?" Ila asked, looking over her shoulder as she dabbed Clarke's head with a piece of damp cloth she had dipped in the cup of water Murphy had fetched.

"Nothing…wait…I see movement. It's hard to tell how many, though," Bellamy replied.

"They were after me when they attacked Clarke," Finn admitted.

"They're looking for us to hand him over," Ila blurted, thinking out loud.

"I've got an idea," Raven said, lifting her gun to point it at Murphy, "Let's give them Murphy. They won't know the difference. He was there, too."

Raven stared darkly and intent at Murphy. He returned it with an icy stare of his own.

"Screw you, Raven," Murphy stated bluntly.

Ila looked up at them, keeping the cloth on Clarke's forehead.

"That's why you invited Murphy in the first place," Ila eyed her suspiciously, "You didn't want me here because you knew I wouldn't let it happen."

"Whoa! We are not giving them anyone!" Bellamy ran back to Raven, pushing her gun down. She narrowed her eyes at Murphy and suddenly turned to Clarke when she gave out a quiet groan of pain.

"Clarke!" Finn crouched at her side, taking the cloth from Ila. Ila stood up, still eyeing Raven coldly.

"What happened?" Clarke said, clutching the side of her head, still groggy and dazed from the hit.

"You got hit by a grounder…because of me," Finn frowned.

"What is Murphy doing here?" Clarke asked.

"Never mind that, we've got company," Bellamy said as he had returned to the dropship door.

"I still say we should give them Murphy," Raven suggested.

"We're not giving them Murphy," Finn snapped at her, "Bellamy, take Raven and guard the front of the dropship. Murphy, Ila, go upstairs and watch the back for any more incoming grounders. Clarke, stay here. We're gonna get through this. Go!"

Everyone took their positions. Ila went up to the second floor with Murphy, setting themselves up at the opened window.

"I can't believe Raven," Ila whispered angrily as she nestled her eye against her scope.

"Don't worry about it. I'm not surprised," Murphy mumbled miserably.

"Well, I'm still disappointed," Ila added, "What was she thinking? Handing you over? That's not what we're here for."

The two watched out the window and saw more grounders appear in the area. They were surrounded.

"So what the hell do we do now?" Murphy pondered.

Ila looked up from her scope and turned to the doorway, staring at the opened latch.

"What? What is it?" Murphy asked her.

Ila stood up and rushed to the ladder.

"Ila!"

"Finn's plan is to hand himself over! _That's_ what we're here for," Ila shouted back up to Murphy. She rushed out of the dropship and stopped short as she watched the grounders take Finn, Raven and Bellamy shouting and crying after him.

"Damn it!" Ila kicked aggressively at the ground. Dirt and ash flew up into the air in front of her. She was too late.

They returned hurriedly to camp as night fell and they found the grounders had Finn tied to a post. Clarke had decided to talk to the commander once more before giving up on Finn. Ila paced back and forth, irritated. Her arms were crossed and brow furrowed.

"Ila, relax. Clarke will handle it," Murphy assured her as they waited alongside the entrance of the camp along with most of the people of the Ark.

"Why didn't I think of it sooner? Why didn't I know that the grounders hadn't taken our friends? Why didn't I figure out Finn was going to give himself up sooner? Bellamy told me to take care of you two when we went out to that village-"

"Ila, stop blaming yourself for everything," Murphy shook her, "You can't change what's done and dwelling on it isn't going to change anything. You've been blaming yourself for everything since we've been down here. Since we've been down here, shit has just _happened._ So just – stop."

Ila looked at him, face turned red as he stared at her aggressively, hands tight around her shoulders. He looked down, letting her go. They turned their attention back to Clarke, who stood before the commander. Ila could not make out her face, but couldn't imagine the conversation would have been going well. Raven was beside them, biting her nails in anticipation. Ila stared as Clarke approached Finn, hugging him. She squinted her eyes, trying to discern what was happening, but Clarke stepped aside to reveal the wound in Finn's torso, a knife in her hand dripping in blood.

"Noooooo!" Raven cried out.

Ila's mouth dropped slightly open, hopelessness slipping inside her. Tears formed in her wide eyes. Murphy took up her hand, watching the scene by her side. She held onto it tightly, tears streaming down her face as Raven's screams in agony raged on.


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16 – Moving On**

Ila dropped her gaze, heart pounding in her ear. The sounds of Raven's cries and screams became fuzzy. She brushed off Murphy's hand and walked off to the Ark without a word. Tears continued to fall down her face that had turned red and puffy. She wandered through the hallways aimlessly, no one to stop her as they were empty. She stopped, gasping for breath through cries. She let out an angry scream as she kicked the wall beside her with the bottom of her boot. Her hair fell in her face as she crouched down beside the opposite side of the hallway. Fingers ran through her hair as shallow breaths were grasped between cries. She felt dizzy, as though she was about to faint. The hallway echoed with her sounds. She put her head between her knees and clawed at her thighs for a painful distraction. She felt nothing – numb to everything in her immediate reality except for the emotional pain that ran rampant throughout her mind. The pain consumed her body – guilt, blame. She carried it heavily on her shoulders but it weighed so heavily on her heart that it felt as though it skipped several beats over the past ten minutes of her panic stricken grief. She bit her thumb hard to stop herself from crying – still nothing, but her breathing began to calm. She could suddenly hear footsteps coming down the hallway. Kane approached her, kneeling beside her. He rested an arm over her shoulders. She looked up at him as he smiled sweetly – a kind but sad smile. She wiped the tears that rolled down her face.

"I know you two were friends," Kane began, "I wanted to know if you'd come with us to the grounder's ceremony to say your goodbyes."

Ila looked away from him and remained silent. She thought for a moment before shaking her head.

"No?" Kane asked, disappointed.

Ila pulled her legs to her chest, sealing her lips tight. Kane stood, patting her shoulder. She looked up at him sadly.

"I'm sure Finn would understand," Kane left her with a hurt look and an unintentional stab in the heart. As he walked away, Murphy came running up to them, slowing at the sight of Ila, but Kane took him by the shoulder and turned him back the way he came.

"Leave her be, son," she heard Kane whisper to Murphy as they left her alone.

Ila turned her attention to the opposite side of the hallway, where she locked eyes with Finn, startling her. Her legs gave out beneath her, her rear hitting the steel floors hard and the back of her head banged the wall behind her. She looked back up and Finn was still there, staring back at her with a dead, emotionless face. She struggled to stand up, but once on her feet, she ran down the hall after Kane and Murphy.

"Wait!" she shouted once they were in view. The two stopped and turned to her just before the exit.

"I want to go!" Ila admitted. Kane smiled at her, but Murphy frowned. She stopped in front of them.

"Meet us at the front gate in five," Kane instructed before exiting, leaving Murphy and Ila alone. Ila made to go after Kane, but Murphy grabbed her arm, stopping her. She turned to look at him, surprised. She was still thrown off by the hallucination of Finn.

"You're going with them?" Murphy asked roughly.

"I gotta get away from here for a little bit," Ila replied, frowning.

"I can't go."

"I know," Ila sighed, "I'll be back."

She squeezed his hand before letting go. She turned back to him as she ran off after Kane, meeting up with him at the front gate. Clarke, Bellamy, Raven, Octavia, Lincoln and even Chancellor Abby were all waiting along with several guards. Kane turned to look over the crowd that showed up to join them. He caught sight of Ila and smiled at her. She, however, did not return the gesture. She pulled her rifle around and held it securely in her hands as the group headed out, into the forest.

Ila did not speak to anyone as they continued on into the darkness, alongside the grounders. She felt as though she was being eyed heavily – suspicious. She tagged behind Clarke and Bellamy, not listening to their conversations as they continued down their path. She could hear the grounders whispering and watched as Clarke stared into the woods with a frightened face. Ila looked to where Clarke's attention was drawn and saw Finn. She snapped her head forward and gripped her sniper even tighter.

"You were there – at the village," a voice came from behind her, "That is what their whispers speak of." Ila turned to look straight into the eyes of the commander. A young girl, her own age, she was, who wore a lot of war paint.

"Commander," Ila bowed her head slightly out of respect.

"You may call me Lexa," she smiled appreciatively.

"Lexa…I was unaware that my presence made your soldiers uneasy," Ila suggested.

"You would be mistaken. They do not worry about the threat you pose. Nor do they blame you for what had happened."

"Pity?"

"My people do not pity, especially those of your Sky Crew," Lexa snarled at the thought, "They are concerned for your wellbeing. They know you to be weak."

"They would be wrong," Ila snapped back.

"Oh?" Lexa smiled at this.

"I lived," Ila reminded her.

"Perhaps."

"I must be honest with you…Commander," Ila spoke formally.

Lexa turned to look at her with a stern face. She remained silent, awaiting Ila's confession.

"When you stole one of our people, it was me that invaded your camp and killed three of your men to take him back," Ila spoke respectfully. She held her breath in wait of Lexa's response. Lexa looked forward and simply smiled.

"I respect your honesty-"

"Ila."

"Ila of the sky people."

"You're not going to kill me?" Ila turned to her, surprised.

"They were different times. Times of war. You killed warriors, not innocence. I respect your bravery and strength. My people are wrong to think _you_ are weak," Lexa complimented.

"Thank you," Ila replied.

"It is late! Let us make camp!" Lexa announced to the group. Everyone halted and began to unpack their tents. Ila joined Clarke as she pulled a blanket from her backpack. They were placed between their friends and the grounders. Clarke was attempting to make a point that they must trust them. Ila lay down by Clarke and saw her eyes shift suspiciously.

"You see him, too. Don't you?" Ila asked her.

"I don't know what you-"

"Finn. You see him. You saw him in the forest earlier," Ila suggested. Clarke nodded admittedly. Bellamy brought his bed over next to theirs, causing the two to end their conversation. Clarke turned away in her bed as Bellamy got himself situated.

"Am I interrupting something?" Bellamy asked awkwardly.

"Slightly," Ila smiled pleasantly at him. Bellamy settled down into his blankets, facing Ila.

"Ila, I wanted to talk to you…"

"Bellamy, please-"

"Ila, it wasn't your fault. I want you to know that," Bellamy finished. Ila stared at him for a bit in silence, watching the shadows dance across his solemn face. His eyes clung to her gaze, hoping for an answer.

"I-I know," Ila submitted, her eyes sinking.

"You've only ever done your best and we couldn't have ever asked for more from you," Bellamy smiled at her kindly, "I'm thankful you're still here with us. We'll be lucky to have you in this war against the Mountain Men."

Ila smiled briefly but did not look at him. She stared into the darkness and thought about his words. Bellamy closed his eyes and began to fall asleep as Ila continued to contemplate her relieved blame. The darkness suddenly moved, though, and there was a rustling in the brush just outside their camp. Ila jolted up, staring into the darkness until her eyes adjusted. Something – someone – ran off. Ila pushed the blankets off of her and pulled on her backpack. She followed whoever it was off into the night.

She quickly gained on her target, a tall, slender figure that looked to be a young man…and certainly not a grounder. He was limping slightly, giving Ila the upper hand in speed as she raced toward him. Once close enough, she tackled him to the ground, spinning him around so she could see his face. He punched her in the jaw and threw her off of him, but shouted in pain as he did so.

"Ow! Motherf-"

"Kwon!?" Ila said, gasping as she rubbed her jaw.

"Ila!?" the young man sat up. Ila's eyes had adjusted and saw his face clearly.

"What the hell are you doing here? You're alive?" Ila stood up slowly and made her way over to him.

"I crashed with a piece of the Ark and got lost in these fucking woods. I saw the camp but I didn't know if it was safe," he replied, "How the hell are you still alive? Last I heard, you were arrested."

Ila grabbed his hand and helped him stand up. He was much taller and her elder by three years. His black hair was messy with mud and his face was covered, too. The two hugged tightly. Ila shut her eyes tightly, holding back her emotions.

"I came down with the one hundred," Ila answered, "And don't believe anything you heard."

"Yeah, I know. People were saying you went ballistic and tried to kill an officer. Ila, what happened?" Kwon asked, becoming weary.

"I did try to kill him. He um…" Ila broke her eye contact.

"That son of a-"

"I don't want to talk about it, Kwon.," Ila cut him off.

"Fair enough. Hey, um…I'm, um, hurt. Do you have anything?" Kwon indicated his right leg that he was limping on, which had a gash in it. It was already mostly scabbed over.

"Typical," Ila muttered.

Kwon smiled stupidly at her as she took him under the shoulder. He leaned on her for support as they continued to walk.

"Your camp was back the other way, though," Kwon noticed.

"We're not going to that camp," Ila replied, "You need medical attention and there are grounders that don't know you back there. They'll think you're not one of us and try to kill you. We're going back to the other camp."

The two continued on, Ila yawning incessantly as the weight from her old friend, her backpack and her sniper began to weigh heavy on her. Kwon eyed her rifle at her side suspiciously.

"Where'd you get the gun?" Kwon asked.

"Should I start from the beginning beginning or can we just wait until some other time to catch up?" Ila asked rhetorically.

"Now's as good as any other time," Kwon retorted with a laugh. Ila rolled her eyes before starting from the beginning beginning, back to just before she was arrested and finished to how she got to the camp with the grounders. By the time she had finished, sunlight had found them at Camp Jaha and Kwon had cried at least twice for his old friend. They stumbled into camp, greeted by the guards that questioned Ila's early return and Kwon's presence.

"He survived the crash from one of the pieces of the Ark," Ila explained as they let them inside the walls. She escorted Kwon to the medical tent where she sat him down on the table. Murphy burst into the tent and stopped short upon the sight of Ila.

"My guess is Murphy, am I right?" Kwon guessed.

"Who the hell is _this_ asshole?" Murphy asked Ila, turning to her with a disgusted look.

"Oh, I gotta be right," Kwon laughed.

"Murphy, this is Kwon. Alex Kwon. He was my best friend when we lived on the Ark. Taught me how to fight," Ila smiled brightly at her friend.

"And you just found him out wandering in the woods?" Murphy eyed Kwon suspiciously.

"Yep!" Kwon answered him, smiling. He held out a hand to shake Murphy's, but Murphy ignored him. Kwon curled his arm back in retreat awkwardly. His smile faded.

"Did everything go alright?" Murphy asked Ila.

"I don't know. Everything seemed alright when I left last night. I met the Commander. She seemed pretty cool," Ila replied.

"Yeah, only if she knew you slaughtered three of her men in an ambush," Murphy chortled darkly.

"She does," Ila stated bluntly.

"What?" Murphy looked at her in bewilderment.

"I told her that I ambushed them. She was okay with it…It was weird. She even complimented my bravery," Ila still could not believe she had lived after confessing.

"Well…I guess that worked out," Murphy's voice trailed off.

Kwon's doctor entered the tent and shooed Ila and Murphy out. They stood in front of the tent awkwardly in silence for a moment.

"Murphy…Bellamy wants me to go to war against Mount Weather," Ila admitted.

"What?" Murphy turned to her, looking disappointed.

"Come with us," Ila suggested.

"I wasn't exactly invited, and I'm pretty sure the grounders wouldn't particularly like my presence," Murphy looked down at his feet. He dug his boot into the dirt.

" _I'm_ inviting you. We need as many people as possible. Our friends are in trouble out there," Ila encouraged.

"I wouldn't really call them _my_ friends," Murphy corrected.

"What's wrong with you!?"

"What have they ever done for me, huh? Once upon a time you said they all wanted me dead!" Murphy snapped.

"People change! You've changed – or at least I thought you did! You've been given so many second chances, Murphy. Prove to them you're more than just the asshole."

"I don't need to prove anything. I don't need to forgive anyone," Murphy shot back at her.

"Fine!" Ila snapped. She turned on her heel and walked briskly off, back into the medical tent.

She brushed past the curtain of the tent, interrupting Kwon's doctor, who spun around.

"You can't be in here-"

"Bite me," Ila barked sharply as she threw herself into the chair near the medical equipment cabinets. The doctor stared at her, irritated for a moment before returning to his work on Kwon's leg.

"Trouble in paradise?" Kwon smiled, eyebrows creasing sympathetically.

"There is no such thing as paradise down here, Kwon. Trust me," Ila replied.

"It wasn't exactly sunshine state up in space, though. You'll find it," Kwon stated before wincing at the needle that pierced his skin, sewing up his leg, "Damn, you really don't have anything to numb this?"

"No," the doctor snarled bitterly as he finished up tying it off.

"Haven't had time to search for anything. Too busy fighting shit and trying _not_ to die," Ila responded, arms crossed. Her eyelids became heavy as she sank in her chair.

"Eventually things will settle down. Things always work out," Kwon smiled as the doctor wrapped his leg in clean gauze.

"Yeah, always in your favor, Kwon," Ila mumbled before drifting off into sleep.

"Truth," Kwon replied, standing up. He crossed over to her and patted her head gently before leaving her to her much deserved rest.

Ila awoke the next afternoon to the sounds of shouts at the front gate, announcing the arrival of Clarke and the grounders that had returned to Camp Jaha. She shot up from her chair, unaware of the time and jolted out of the medical tent. Ila followed the group into the Ark where she found Murphy sitting down alongside a wall, sipping at a cup of water. She eyed him until he caught sight of her, and then snapped her attention to Kane and Indra. Murphy looked down into his cup, feeling rejected. Ila could see his sad expression and felt guilty for yelling at him the day before. She inched her way toward him as Kane began to address the audience.

"Hey," she whispered to him cautiously. He looked up from his cup, but paid no attention to her as though he was ignoring her.

"Look…I get you don't want to go to Mount Weather. You don't have to go if you don't want to. I just…We've done nearly everything together since we've been down here. I hate the thought of you not being by my side," Ila confessed, blushing.

"I know…I don't…I'm afraid you're gonna leave – and you won't come back," Murphy finally looked up at her with an increasingly depressed expression.

"Don't I always?" Ila smiled slyly.

Murphy shook his head, smiling, looking back down at his cup. He swished the water around in it as he laughed quietly.

"You're getting as bad as me," Murphy finally replied.

" _No one's_ as bad as you, you cocky shit," Ila smiled at him, pushing his shoulder flirtatiously. He blushed.

The smiles faded from their faces, though, as a grounder warrior approached Murphy, looking angry. His dark, piercing eyes were stabbing at him as he began to speak Trigdasleng.

"Sorry, man. I don't speak grounder," Murphy joked, smiling. The grounder knocked the cup of water from his hands and it landed with a crash to the ground, gaining the attention of everyone in the room. Murphy stood, temper rising, as he pushed the grounder back.

"Murphy! Do we have a problem?" Kane shouted over the crowd. Everyone turned their attention and Kwon spotted Ila, too close to the trouble for him to be comfortable. He began to limp his way through the crowd.

"He came at me," Murphy defended.

"3 day's work detail," Kane barked at him.

"For what!?" Murphy shouted back.

"And apologize," Kane demanded.

Murphy scowled at Kane, sour, before turning to the grounder.

"Sorry," Murphy faked an apology, but the grounder would not accept it as he pushed Murphy back down into his seat. Ila took a step forward, getting in between the two. She stared darkly into the grounder's eyes and watched as his stare began to ease into that of a sympathetic look of pity. Murphy stood back up and placed a hand on Ila's shoulder. His other hand curled into a fist, flying past Ila's head and hit the grounder in the cheekbone.

Chaos broke loose in the room as everyone began to throw punches, sky people versus grounders. Ila was thrown aside by the grounder, hitting the floor.

"Enough!" Kane shouted, struggling to pull fights apart. A few ceased, but Ila stood, entangling herself in Murphy's fight. She shouted at both of them to stop and struggled to pull them apart. Kwon finally made it to her and elbowed the grounder in the face, knocking him out. Ila continued to restrain Murphy from kicking him while he was down. She grabbed his arm as Kwon grabbed another and they dragged him off, down the hall. The fighting began to die down, shouts ceasing as Ila and Kwon shoved Murphy against a wall.

"Calm the fuck down, man!" Kwon panted, rubbing the back of his head.

Murphy put his hands on his knees, trying to catch his breath. Ila stared at him in disappointment and he looked up at her.

"Yeah…I know…I fucked up," Murphy sighed.

" _Again_!" Ila added.

Kane, Major Byrne and another officer approached them, frowning.

"Murphy, come with us," Kane ordered.

Murphy straightened up and Byrne grabbed him by the arm abrasively. Kwon and Ila watched as they dragged him down the hall and into a room to the right. The other officer stood guard outside. Ila lowered her head, increasingly disappointed. Jaha moved past them, down the hall and into Murphy's room, entering after Kane and Byrne had left.

"What's wrong?" Kwon asked her, noticing her expression.

"The way that grounder looked at me…He knew. He knew who I was. He knew what happened. He was there…" Ila rubbed her forehead with the palm of her hand.

Kwon rubbed her shoulders with one hand, and pulled her in to hug her. Her head rested on his chest, listening to his heartbeat that was still racing from the excitement.

"Someday, everyone will get over it and move on…and so will you. Life keeps moving, Ila. Just keep moving forward and no matter where you move towards, I'll be there for you," Kwon said to her. He released her and smiled down at her. She smiled back at him and nodded.

"I'll be back," Ila stated as she moved past him, going down the hall after Murphy. She turned into the room, but Murphy was nowhere to be seen. She rushed around the room and then finally approached the guard that stood post at the door.

"Where did Murphy go?" Ila asked hastily.

"He went off with Chancellor Jaha," the guard said, slightly intimidated.

"Who is _not_ actually Chancellor anymore, you do realize?" Ila snapped at him.

"Oh," the guard replied stupidly.

"Well, where the hell did they go?" Ila barked, temper shortening.

"I-I don't know! Chancellor Jaha was talking about seeing his son," the officer was backed into the wall. Ila turned on him and ran off without thanking him. She was flustered and flabbergasted as she made her way back to Kwon.

"Kwon, I need a favor."

"Do you need me to kick his ass?"

"Not yet."


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17 – Dead Zone**

Ila stumbled recklessly through the sand – a desert wasteland called the Dead Zone. She reached the peak of a sand dune when she finally caught sight of Jaha's small group of travelers.

"Murphy!" Ila shouted, her mouth dry.

He turned towards her, watching as she stumbled her way down the dune. Surprise overwhelmed his expression and he nearly let out tears as he ran to meet her at the bottom.

"Ila!" he went to embrace her but she punched him hard in the chest, repeatedly, crying.

"You left! You just left me! You didn't even tell me you were leaving!" she cried, her continual punches became more and more futile, one after another.

"I wasn't planning on it at first! I was going to come back – I didn't think you'd notice because I thought you were going to go with Bellamy!" Murphy tried to defend himself. He grabbed onto her wrists and pulled them down to her sides. She continued to sob into his chest as he wrapped his arms around her. She hugged him back, weakly.

"What if you died out here?" Ila's words were muffled into his jacket.

"Only the good die young," Murphy joked.

"Jerk!" she punched him in the back with one last sob.

The two released their embrace and Ila ceased her crying. She wiped away her tears as the two made their way to the catch up with the rest of the group, who had been watching.

"This is-"

"Ila Domek," Jaha cut Murphy off, smiling at Ila, "I'm glad you could come."

The group started up again on their trek until they came shortly across a wagon in which a hooded figure jumped out, baring a knife, threateningly.

"Who are you?" the girl demanded.

"We come in peace. We are travelers looking for the City of Light," answered calmly, raising his hands.

"City of Light? That is my destination as well," the girl replied, taking her mask off. Ila had a hand on her rifle the entire time, but relaxed, still unsure of this desert dweller.

"Do you have any water?" the girl asked.

Murphy pulled off his backpack and grabbed the canteen from the side pouch. Ila stared at him, confused and angry.

"What?" he shrugged at Ila as he moved toward the girl, offering her the canteen. Ila's brow furrowed as the girl took it hastily.

"What's your name?" Murphy asked her kindly.

"Emori," she replied after taking a large swig of his water. She handed it back to him.

"What are you doing out here all alone, Emori?" Jaha asked.

"My brother and I were ambushed by desert bandits. They took our horses and all of our supplies," she answered, eyeing Ila coldly.

"I'm so sorry," Jaha apologized, "Why not come with us if we are all headed to the City of Light?"

Emori considered Jaha's offer for a moment. Ila bit her lip, hoping she'd decline.

"Pull my cart and we have a deal," Emori decided.

"Very well," Jaha agreed, smiling. Some in the group groaned in displeasure.

Murphy looked to Ila, suggesting she help him.

"Screw that. I didn't invite her!" Ila frowned at Murphy, refusing his invitation adamantly. Murphy pouted at her bitterly as he went to help Jaha pull the cart. Ila hung back behind the group, slowly regretting joining them. She considered turning back, but still did not trust Emori. She watched as Murphy pulled the cart while speaking to her. The two smiled at each other and jealousy sank in.

Ila lowered her eyes, thinking of her friends in Mount Weather, how Bellamy and Clarke would be disappointed in her absence. She thought of her very recent reunion with her old friend, Kwon and how he was still adjusting to life at Camp Jaha. The group began to slow down a bit once the sun had reached its highest point in the sky. Jaha and Murphy swapped out with two others pulling the cart. Murphy made his way to Ila cautiously.

"Hey," his voice cracked a bit.

Ila smiled weakly at him, not making eye contact. He handed her his canteen of water, which she shook her head to in refusal.

"Save it," Ila's voice broke, desperately dry.

"You'll dehydrate," Murphy frowned sadly, still holding out his canteen to her. Ila continued to refuse.

"Are you mad at me?" Murphy dared to ask.

"I should be at Bellamy's side right now! I should be helping our friends out of Mount Weather," Ila said angrily, finally making eye contact with Murphy.

"Ila, we'll go back. We'll go back once we find Jaha's City of Light, or whatever," Murphy reminded her.

"They could all be dead by then!" Ila shouted, gaining slight attention from the rest of the group, "But you just had to run off."

"I'm sorry, okay? But I made a decision I thought I had to make. I wanted to try to do something right while you had made your decision to do what you thought was right for you. I don't regret leaving – okay? I'm not going to apologize for any of the things I've done, though, because I always did what I thought was right. You want to go back? Go back. Stop regretting your choices, though," Murphy ran ahead of her, leaving her to her self-loathing and regret. He caught back up with Emori, striking up another conversation, brushing off his argument with Ila.

Ila spotted someone up on a dune, though, holding up what looked like a missile launcher. Ila took up her rifle, aiming for the figure, but Emori threatened to cut Murphy's throat as she bent him to his knees.

"Put your weapons and supplies in the cart!" Emori shouted.

Ila changed her target to Emori, clenching her teeth in anger.

"Do as she says," Jaha instructed.

Ila was unrelenting as her finger threatened to pull the trigger. The crosshairs in her scope line up with the center of Emori's forehead.

"Ila! Drop you gun!" Jaha shouted at her, urging her to give up her rifle.

Hesitantly, she obeyed, throwing it into the cart along with her backpack. As she did so, she glared darkly at Emori, moving slowly. Emori turned Murphy around, leaning down to whisper into his ear. She straightened up and knocked him out with a single punch to the face. He fell to the ground, unconscious as Ila ran to him. Emori backed away, staring at Ila as she picked him up. Ila could almost detect sadness in her expression.

"I'm sorry-"

"Fuck you," Ila cut her off with sharp words.

Emori frowned, admitting that she probably deserved that. Ila, with the help of another, took up Murphy under his arms and they continued on their way, daylight quickly slipping away. They stopped to rest when Murphy finally woke up, dazed in the darkness.

"Unbelievable," Murphy groaned, pinching his nose, "Friggin' girls."

"Because _you're_ a saint," Ila's quiet voice came from beside him. He turned to her, surprised she was even speaking to him. She was digging a knife into the sand and saw that everyone else was asleep.

"At least she didn't take this," Ila stated, indicating the knife she began to twirl in her hand.

"Is that – is that my knife?" Murphy asked, noticing the initials J.M. engraved on the inside of the handle of scrap metal.

"Mine now," Ila replied, replacing it into the sheath strapped to her leg.

"You kept it – this whole time?" Murphy asked, flattered.

"I told you I hang on to things that save my life," Ila's voice was void of emotion.

"You know…I saved your life a few times," Murphy joked, hopeful.

"And how many times have I saved yours?"

"Aw, who's counting? Fine, keep it. But someone's gonna need to save my ass from crazy chicks out in the desert," Murphy encouraged his hopefulness. Ila shoved him, finally breaking into a smile. Murphy let out a small chuckle, but his smile faded as he realized there were fewer people in the group.

"Where is everyone else?" Murphy asked, slightly panicked.

"A few decided to go back. Didn't think the risk of dying was worth only Jaha's word about a City of Light…Not that I blame them. I think he's full of it and suffered from a lack of oxygen up in the Ark. Which begs the question…How the hell did he convince you to be here?" Ila became more serious.

"Ila…I didn't belong at the Ark. We all know it," Murphy looked down at his dry, cracking hands.

"Yeah…it didn't feel like-"

"Home," Murphy finished her sentence, looking back up at her, "No place does anymore. So why didn't you go with them?"

"Maybe I'm looking for home, too. Anyway, gotta keep moving forward, right? In the meantime, since you're awake, you can take next watch. I'm getting some sleep," Ila smiled sadly, thinking of Kwon as she moved to lie down comfortably next to Murphy.

"Gee, sure thing," Murphy rolled his eyes playfully.

"Thanks, cupcake," Ila murmured before falling asleep.

"Due north" was what Murphy said Emori told him when everyone woke the next morning. Due north they went, continuing on through the seemingly endless desert. Ila felt weak, regretting being stubborn when Murphy had offered her his canteen while he still had it. Her lips were parched, peeling and cracking. She had nearly lost her voice, her throat was so dry. Sand clung to her skin, making her itchy, generally uncomfortable, and irritated.

Suddenly, one of their companions exploded, having set off a mine. Another girl panicked and set off another one. Only four of them left.

"Don't move!" Jaha shouted. Ila was already frozen, hands and knees glued to the ground, blood and body parts showered over her.

"Wasn't planning on it," Murphy quipped.

"We can make it through this. It's just another test," Jaha said, half to himself.

"You're _testing_ my patience," Ila whispered through gritted teeth, agitated. Murphy stood up, brushing his feet across the ground to test for mines. When it was safe, he held out a hand to Ila, who eagerly took it, jumping to his safe zone, followed by their other companion, Zach. Jaha began to test the ground before them, slowly – _painfully_ slowly – making their way across the flat stretch of land. Ila held as tightly onto Murphy's hand as she did her breath every time he took a step in Jaha's trail.

"What is that?" Ila asked, noticing a brilliant, shimmering light over the dune they had been chasing for hours.

"It's the City of Light!" Jaha exclaimed hopefully.

"Yeah…I'm thinking that was metaphor," Ila whispered to herself, but everyone else was convinced by Jaha, even Murphy.

"We're so close!" Zach stated.

"Unbelievable," Ila rolled her eyes.

"Zach, no!" Murphy shouted after him as he booked it off trail, towards the lights. Murphy tackled Zach to the ground. They looked up, finding a mine sticking up from the sand only a few feet away from where they landed. Ila followed in their footsteps – a small panic attack with each step. When both she and Jaha had caught up with them, they continued. It wasn't long before they reached a sign that faced away from them – "Danger – Mine Field" it said. They had finally reached the dune.

"It's just over this hill – our promised land," Jaha whispered stoically. They clawed their way up the dune, sand burying under their fingernails. At the top, they were blinded by the reflection off of solar panels – a never ending field of them.

"What? No!" Jaha shouted, discouraged.

They stumbled down into the field of solar panels with remorse, hoping that their journey would soon be over, but disappointingly denied. They wandered in the shade, soaking in a bit of coolness with their simmering hatred for Jaha.

"No offense but…YOUR PROMISED LAND SUCKS!" Murphy shouted, taking a rock and throwing it at one of the panels, shattering it. A drone popped up, into life, flying in their direction and seemed to observe them with its camera lens. Suddenly, it took off to their right and Jaha ran after it, shortly followed by Zach, then Murphy and lastly, Ila. They came to the ocean, a small boat resting upside-down along the water's edge.

"We have to follow it!" Jaha demanded, beginning to roll the boat over. Ila hesitated, watching as everyone stepped in and Murphy began to push it out to sea.

"What's it gonna be?" Murphy turned to her.

"Oh, hell," Ila sighed, getting into the boat and taking up an oar. Murphy smiled at her as he, too, jumped inside.

They rowed away, into the night that seemed to creep slowly upon them from the horizon. The shoreline had faded away. Ila's hope disappeared with it, but not her hunger. Her stomach growled and her mouth felt like it was filled with cotton balls. Zach leaned over the side of the boat, dipping his hand into the water. He took a sip and spat in disgust.

"It's ocean water, idiot. You shouldn't drink it. It will only make you more dehydrated," Ila stated in a bitter, insulting tone.

"How do you know?" Zach spat the water at her. She wiped her face.

"Some of us actually paid attention in Earth Skills," Ila replied, matter-of-factly.

A large swell in the water called her attention, though. She stopped rowing, a look of fear growing across her face. The swell closed in on the boat until it hit, causing them to lurch to the right.

"What was that?" Zach said, leaning over the side. Ila made to grab him but she was too late. A large, snake-like creature emerged from the water and latched onto his arm, pulling him into the water. The boat rocked, knocking the oars from their notches and into the water. Zach emerged from the water and both Ila and Murphy reached out their hands to assist him. He grabbed hold of Murphy's hand and attempted to pull himself back into the boat, but the creature reattached itself to his body. Murphy got caught on a tooth in the chaos and Jaha pushed him off of Zach.

"No! What are you doing!?" Both Murphy and Ila shouted.

"He can't come with us," Jaha said, grabbing an oar that fell out of the boat. The creature dove back under the water's surface after consuming Zach, satisfied. Murphy and Ila sat back, fear-stricken and staring at Jaha like a crazed lunatic as he continued rowing.

Ila's heart was pounding, blood rushing through her ears. She was tired and hungry – exhausted from being on the ground. She closed her eyes a moment and returned to the forest. She breathed in heavy to smell the plants and trees but could only smell the bitter ocean air.

Murphy suddenly shot up in the boat, causing Ila to return to reality. A light came from a tall tower that sat on a beach – a lighthouse. Ila sat up in excitement.

"Yeah-ha-ha!" Murphy shouted, laughing and waving his arms. Ila smiled weakly.

"See, John? The City of Light! We were meant to make this journey! We are the survivors," Jaha spoke airily.

"Still pretty sure it's a metaphor," Ila coughed. She sat back again as the two paddled and splashed their way to shore. They could see the drone's small red light zoom overhead, into the hills. Jaha jumped out of the boat, running after it. Murphy pulled the boat onto the shore completely and sat down against it.

"Come on, you two! We're almost there!" Jaha urged.

"You know you're right – we are survivors," Murphy stated, exhausted, "Which is exactly why we're not going anywhere with you."

Ila nodded as she emerged from the boat, stumbling into the sand, next to Murphy.

"I'll come back for you. I promise," Jaha said before he chased the drone into the woods.

"Don't bother," Ila sighed as he was out of earshot.

Murphy and Ila flipped the boat over and lay against it, Murphy between the boat and Ila. Ila tore off a piece of her sweater sleeve and tied it around his injured arm before collapsing into an exhausted mess. Murphy wrapped his arm around her and the two fell asleep to the sound of the waves breaking upon the sand.


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18 – Finding Paradise**

Sunlight shone in Ila's eyes as they opened hesitantly. She sat up, looking about the beach that was rather overgrown and trashed with hurricane beaten trees. She looked up at the lighthouse, only a few hundred feet from where they had been sleeping. She shook Murphy awake, taking a look at his wounded arm. He murmured something inaudible and tried to shrug her off, but the sunlight had already pierced his vision as he blinked his eyes open. Ila helped him stand up and they made their way across the beach toward the lighthouse in silence. Murphy stumbled as something crunched under one of his boots. Ila turned back to him and kneeled down by his feet, brushing off branches and debris from a solar panel.

The lighthouse clicked to life as music began to play from inside. Ila stood, looking up at the lighthouse. She and Murphy moved in closer to it, spotting a crack in its exterior that could have been a door. They worked together, digging their fingers into the crack and prying the door open. The music became louder as they entered inside, Ila fingering her knife just in case.

"Hello?" Murphy called out as they made their way down the stairs, closer to the source of the music. They found themselves in a luxurious bunker, filled with all kinds of amenities – pool table, wine shelf, television. Ila wandered through a door as Murphy bee-lined for the sight of food. The lights illuminated the bathroom that Ila entered, a black granite tiled room with a matching sink and a chamber-for-gods of a shower with a glass door. Ila stared, smiling, dumbfounded at the sight.

"Ila! Come get food!" Murphy shouted out to her through a mouthful of crackers and whiskey, but he suddenly heard a sudden rush of water, as though a shower had just been turned on.

Ila watched the cascade of water fall from the massive showerhead. She undressed, peeling her clothes off, revealing a beaten, thin body. Her knife clattered to the floor. She stepped inside, letting the water gently brush against her leg. Dirt melted from her skin as she entered the shower entirely, letting the water engulf her and wash everything away – the dirt, the mud, the blood, her past, hear fears, her worries, her regrets, her armor. They all washed right down the drain. She opened her mouth and drank some of the water. It tasted so clean and pure – refreshing. She ran her fingers through her hair, pushing out the sand and mud. She smiled to herself, tears breaking down her face which she could not feel. She let out a small chuckle.

Murphy opened the door slightly and peeked inside. He could see Ila's naked body through the steamed up shower glass. He blushed and quickly looked away, starting to retreat out of the bathroom until Ila turned her head, catching him out of corner of her eye.

"You comin' in, cupcake?" Ila teased seductively. Murphy's face turned even brighter red, hesitating as he went to enter the bathroom completely. He swallowed and closed the door behind him, beginning to take his jacket off.

"Hurry up, I don't know how long the hot water will last," Ila urged playfully as he struggled to pull off his boots.

Murphy finished undressing and turned to eye her through the glass. He looked her up and down, smiling slyly, but his heart was racing, stomach fluttering. He slowly opened the door and stepped inside, the heat engulfing his body and loosening his muscles. Ila moved aside, turning to look at him as he stepped under the water. The dried blood on his arm began to wash off – along with the dirt, the mud, his past, his fears, his worries and his armor. He rubbed his face and ran his fingers through his hair before looking at Ila, the two of them standing there naked and vulnerable. They smiled sadly as water rushed down their faces. Murphy closed the gap between them and kissed her, taking the sides of her face up in his hands. The two kissed passionately, Ila pushing him against the wall of the shower. His hands raced down her bare back as she leaned against him. His lips found her neck as they began to slide down to the floor of the shower.

"I'm surprised the hot water lasted," Murphy joked as they were getting dressed. He was strapping on his boots as Ila pulled her shirt over her head. She slapped the back of his head, smiling slyly. He stood up, smiling like a fool and started for the door, but something fell from one of his jacket pockets, landing with a quiet clink on the floor. Ila looked at herself in the mirror. She couldn't remember the last time she saw her reflection and even if she did, she was sure she didn't look like she did now. She bent down to pick up what Murphy had dropped – an arrowhead covered in dried grounder blood. She held it delicately between her thumb and index finger, smiling. She ran out of the bathroom after buttoning her pants.

"You dropped this," Ila laughed, but stopped when she found Murphy finishing up pushing the couch out of the middle of the room. He had cleared out a large section of the bunker.

"What are you doing?" Ila asked, handing him the arrowhead, befuddled.

"Not me, you," Murphy took her hand, leading her to the center of the room. He let go, looking at her admirably. She smiled, tilting her head before taking fourth position and spun effortlessly into a pirouette. Murphy watched Ila dance. She looked so peaceful. He sat down on the couch, causing Ila to stop abruptly as the television clicked on nearby. Murphy leaned to the right, pulling a remote out of the couch cushions. The screen showed a man, sitting in the same room.

"I tried to stop her," his voice cracked, eyes bloodshot with tears. He broke down crying. Gun shaking in his right hand, he brought it to his mouth and pulled the trigger with a bang. Ila gave out a sharp yelp, turning away as Murphy's eyes widened in fear, mouth agape.


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19 – Prison**

Ila opened her eyes and looked at the spot on the couch next to Murphy. There was a blood stain on the throw pillow, a gun peeking out from beneath it. Murphy turned to look at it.

"Containment door sealed," a computerized voice rang out through the bunker. Ila's heart jumped to her throat as she heard the doors to the bunker slide closed.

"No!" she screamed, going for the door. Murphy ran after her.

They were too late, though. The doors shut tight and wouldn't budge, even as Ila and Murphy threw their weight against them. Murphy left her to grab a small side table and rammed it against it against the doors, only slightly denting it. Ila punched the metal over and over. She began to feel the futility as tears poured from her eyes and screams from her mouth. She had beaten her hands bloody. Murphy put his arms around her – he too was crying. Ila stopped and fell to the ground, setting her head against Murphy's chest. Murphy tightened his arms around her, hugging her. Ila's whole body convulsed as she choked on her screams. Her throat had gone sore. She gasped for air between coughs as her grasp found the back of Murphy's shirt. The two sat kneeling in each other's arms in the entryway.

"I'm gonna fucking kill Jaha. I'm gonna fucking kill him," Murphy growled, sniffing back tears.

"Not if we die here first," Ila managed to speak with a scratchy voice.

"We're not gonna die here, you hear me?"

The video continued in the next room though, and they could hear voices shouting after their lost friend that had just shot himself. Murphy and Ila looked up and moved back to the room to watch the video.

"Turn it off…I don't…just turn it off," Ila said waving her hands, eyes averted from the screen in disgust. They were bloodshot and puffy, tears still streaming down her face. Murphy ran after the remote and turned the video off, leaving them in silence. He turned to her and sat her down on the couch, leading her by the shoulders. She turned to look at the blood stained pillow and grabbed it, throwing it viciously across the bunker. Murphy's eyes watched it fly past him and slowly turned back to look at her. She held her arms, continuing to shake, rocking back and forth as she sat down on the couch.

"We're gonna die here," she whispered.

"Look, we are NOT gonna die here," Murphy moved toward her a little too hastily, kneeling in front of her. He took up her hands, looking deeply into her eyes.

"We're not gonna die here," he repeated.

An alarm went off along the side of the bed. A hand reached out from under the covers and slammed the off button, silencing it. A low grumble came from one of the two bodies that was buried under the blankets.

"Come on. We gotta get up," Ila stated, poking her head out from under the covers. Her eyes were heavy and tired as she pulled the blankets off of her. Another grumble. She threw her legs over the side of the bed as she rubbed her face with her palms. She turned and shook the lump in the blankets.

"Get up," Ila demanded, a little louder this time. The lump shifted. She stood up and grabbed her pants that were thrown over the end of the bed. She slid them on and made her way to the bathroom where she looked in the mirror and washed her mouth out. Her hands grasped the side of the sink. Scars ran down her arms and wrists. The further up her arm, the newer it was. 85. She strapped her knife holster to her leg.

Murphy entered behind her and brushed a hand along her bottom. She straightened up and looked at him in the mirror.

"You need a shave, today," Ila suggested.

"Kay," he replied, still groggy from sleep. She grabbed her knife from the cup beside the sink, washing it off under the running faucet. Murphy held his face over the sink and rubbed his face with water, soaking it up in his facial hair. She sat him on the toilet where she began to carefully run the knife along the side of his face, making sure not to nick him this time. When she finished, she thoroughly cleaned off her knife and placed it carefully back in the cup by the faucet. Murphy stood and looked in the mirror to observe her work.

"You're getting better at this," he said, running a hand across his jawline. It was slightly reddened but clean shaven, not a single drop of blood.

Ila grabbed the hairbrush off the counter and began to run it through her hair silently. Murphy kissed her shoulder before leaving the bathroom.

"I'll go get breakfast ready," he whispered solemnly in her ear.

She stared into the mirror with a deep frown, sad eyes staring back at her. Her skin was deadly pale. She pulled the dead hair out of the brush, throwing it into the full trash pail by the toilet. She set the brush back down on the counter and grabbed her t-shirt off the back of the door, pulling it over her head. She ran a hand through her hair before exiting the bathroom.

Murphy held out a hand full of a small stack of crackers, offering. She shook her head.

"This is the last box, please eat," Murphy sounded irritated.

"We have to save it," Ila suggested.

Murphy turned, placing the crackers back in the box and slid them down the counter. He shoved one in his mouth quickly as Ila began to stretch her legs, outstretching her arms so her hands could reach her ankles. Murphy stared sadly at the scars.

"If you stare harder, you'll burn them open again," Ila caught him. Murphy snapped his eyes down at the floor.

"I just…don't get it," he mumbled.

"Can we not have this discussion again?" Ila asked, irritated.

"Fine."

He swallowed his crackers and took a swig of water before making his way over to her, stretching out his arms as he crossed over the kitchen island. He sat down beside her as she began stretching out her arms and back. Once she finished stretching, she stood up and watched him stretch out his legs, observing his tense muscles. He was not wearing a shirt and she watched as the scars in his skin tremble as he straightened out his back. His vertebrae clicked and Ila offered a hand to help him up. He took it and pulled himself up. The two separated a few feet from one another and took their fighting stances.

Ila made the first move – spinning kick that Murphy dodged and countered with a back handed fist to her side which struck. Ila winced and grabbed his wrist, pulling him toward her and punched him in the face. Murphy broke her grasp and punched her in the side but missed as she swept him off his feet. He landed with a heavy thud, elbow grinding into the ground. She pounced on top of him, but he slid his leg up and kneed her in the chest, flinging her off of him. She stumbled back and quickly rose to her feet. He made to stand but she hit him again and he went to grab her wrist but hesitated. Mistake. She kicked him back down and he was done.

"Stop hesitating. I can take it," Ila frowned at him as she made to sit down on him, one leg on each side of him.

"I know," Murphy panted.

"C'mon. Let's go get you some water," she leaned down and kissed him gently. He smiled, blushing.

She stood up and walked off, a small swagger in her step as her hips swayed back and forth with each step for him to admire. He did – his eyes trailed after her as she made her way to the sink, filling a glass of water. She brought it back to him and he sat up. She sat down beside him. He took a few sips and handed her the glass, letting her take a few sips for herself before handing it back.

"Ready?" she asked, smiling.

"Yeah, yeah," Murphy smiled back at her, knowing very well it was already her favorite part of the day. The too stood up and Murphy placed the glass on the coffee table at the edge of the room. She was already in position when he made his way back to her.

Fifth position as he placed gentle, sure hands on her waist. Tendu to fourth position. He spun her through her slow pirouette. Fondu, tendu front. Fondu, tendu side. Fondu, tendu front again. They lifted their arms to the side as she swept her foot through ront de jamb. Their arms glided through the air in unison. He took her hand and she spun out to his side with a glissade. She jumped back into his arms, her waist lined up with his neckline. He held her up, spinning and slowly brought her back down where their eyes met in a longing stare. Her feet reached for the floor and he finally set her back down. His lips partly slightly as they continued to stare into each other's eyes. Ila finally moved closer to kiss him slowly, passionately. His arms wrapped tighter around her waist as he pulled her in closer to his body. Her fingertips traced his naked collarbone as his tongue traced just the inside of her upper lip. Murphy pulled back, his tongue retreating as words swelled in the back of his throat, struggling. Ila looked at him in anticipation, awaiting whatever he had to say, still hanging around his shoulders.

"I…I gotta get a shower," Murphy's words were a sigh of disgust in himself. Ila leaned back in response and he let her go. She grabbed his shirt off the back of the couch and threw it to him. He rubbed the bridge of his nose between his index finger and thumb as he grabbed the shirt out of the air with his other hand. He started for the bathroom but halted momentarily to turn back to her.

"Ila, please eat," Murphy frowned. Ila looked at him sternly as he disappeared behind the bathroom door. She could hear the water turn on as she tossed herself onto the couch. Something hard stuck into her side as she landed.

"Ow, what the-" she leaned forward to find the pistol jammed between the cushions, along with the remote. Ila stared at the pistol for too long, finger over the trigger. She shook herself and decided to press the power button on the remote and the screen clicked to life. Murphy's face appeared, though – footage she had not seen before as she and Murphy had completed the video that introduced them to Allie.

"Day 54…I haven't had a chance to do this in a while. I don't like leaving Ila alone. Honestly, I'm just scared I won't see her again. I keep having nightmares about being here alone – without her. I'd go insane. Her idea of keeping a routine has been working well but…I don't know. I think I'm doing alright but Ila's just so – so hung up. We keep getting into fights about the scars on her arms – 'one for every day she's useless.' How can I tell her she's not? How do I tell her I need her here with me? Shit – I gotta go," the camera fumbled in Murphy's hands and the track ended, prompting a second.

"Day 72. We're running out of food so now Ila won't eat. Still manages to kick my ass every day, though," Murphy laughed. He lowered his eyes, staring into nothingness as his smile faded, "Still…I don't know how long we can keep it up. The routine is starting to get old. I'm tiredof doing the same _shit_ every day. Jaha…if you're watching this then that means you're not dead so FUCK YOU! I swear, when we get out of here – you're dead…you're so dead… _if_ we get out of here," Murphy broke down into tears, rubbing his eyes with one hand. He set the camera down on the coffee table and grabbed the pistol beside it, taking it up under his jawline as he sat down on the couch. He shook, every muscle was tense – afraid. He lowered the gun, shoving it into the couch cushions. He buried his face in his hands and bent over his knees, crying.

Ila turned the power off and shoved the gun carefully into the back of her pants and the remote back into the couch cushions as she heard the water in the shower turn off. She stood abruptly once Murphy emerged from the bathroom and turned to him, teary eyed.

"What'd I do now?" Murphy stopped to panic as soon as he caught sight of her face.

She walked slowly toward him, tears streaming down her face. She buried her face in his neck, dampening his shirt with her tears as she wrapped her arms over his shoulders. He put his arms around her in response, still confused.

"Ila, what-"

"Thank you."

"What are you-"

"Thank you," she continued to repeat herself, shutting Murphy up.

"Containment door open," the automated voice rang out across the bunker.

Ila quickly pulled away from their embrace and Murphy grabbed her by the shoulders. They both bolted for the exit but Ila had a sudden thought and turned for the bathroom, grabbing her knife from the cup by the sink. She slid it into the holster on her leg as she ran up the steps to the door. Murphy had already pushed the doors open and the morning sun burst into view as she reached Murphy's side. She breathed in the fresh ocean air as her eyes squinted and adjusted to the natural light. A gentle breeze blew through her hair and left her feeling a little dizzy and overwhelmed. _Alive_.

A drone suddenly flew down to greet them, looking them up and down. It then darted into the woods, zipping away. Ila quickly took after it, stumbling over her own feet.

"Where are you going?" Murphy called after her.

"Kill Jaha!" Ila shouted back at him. She stumbled over tree roots as she reached the woods. Murphy chased after her, struggling to keep up as she pushed herself, her lungs setting on fire and burning through each wheezy breath. Her limbs felt heavy and her vision was becoming blurry once she had reached a clearing where a mansion sat at the other end. It was in pristine condition, untouched by time or decay.

Murphy stopped to catch his breath and he watched as Ila bee-lined for the mansion. He threw himself into the next step to give himself some momentum, but Ila had already reached the threshold of the front door, tumbling into the entry hall where she was greeted by Jaha himself.

"Ila," he welcomed her with open arms, "I've found the city of light."

As she got back to her feet, she approached him, struggling to keep her balance. Murphy entered the mansion, falling to his knees in exhaustion. Ila clenched her fist and once she approached Jaha, she took a swing at him and missed, falling into her punch. Jaha caught her and picked her up in his arms as she passed out.

"Don't you touch her!" Murphy shouted before collapsing on the cold marble floor.

Ila opened her eyes to the afternoon sun shining in the window through the sheer curtains. She quickly sat up in the chase lounge, remembering where she was – leaving a sick feeling in the empty pit of her stomach. A table sat to her left with two glasses of waters and two apples. She grabbed the apple immediately and bit into it, the juices spurting out the sides of her mouth. She looked around the room and saw Murphy sleeping peacefully on a large ottoman. She stood up, throwing her legs over the side of the chase lounge. She walked over to him, legs still a little shaky from running. She took another bite out of the apple as she looked over his face a moment as he slept. So calm. She almost didn't want to wake him, she had not seen him get proper rest like this in such a long time. She lifted a hand to shake him but stopped.

"I'm awake," he grumbled, opening his eyes. She reached to grab the second apple off the table and handed it to him. He sat up slowly, pain coursing through his body.

"Sorry," Ila lowered her eyes.

"Don't be. I wanted to take a swing at Jaha myself," Murphy turned, taking the apple from her. She smiled gently, looking up at him.

The two stood up and wandered through the room holding hands. Murphy elbowed Ila to turn her attention to Jaha, who seemed to be meditating in the next room over, sitting crossed legged on the floor.

"What's he doing?" Murphy asked quietly.

"Hello John. Ila," a woman's voice came from behind them, startling them both. They turned to see Allie – the AI they had watched in the videos in the bunker. Both Ila and Murphy scowled at her in disgust. Murphy threw his apple at her but it went right through her.

"It's refreshing to be around people that understand technology again," Allie said emotionlessly.

"Let us explain," Jaha started quietly, behind them.

"That's a good idea. Let's start with why you kept us locked in a bunker while you were here livin' like a king," Murphy snarled.

"The outside world means nothing. In the city of light we are all kings…and queens," Jaha replied.

"And here I thought I was the one losing my mind," Murphy snapped back.

"Truth. I can show you," Allie piped up.

"You do know she was the one who launched the bombs that ended the world, right?" Murphy explained to Jaha.

Jaha smiled at them, "Wrong. She didn't end the world. She saved it."

"Who are you to make those choices for the human race, huh? You're nothing. Just a little bit of wiring and some programming," Ila growled at Allie, but Allie just tilted her head curiously. Ila stormed off, letting go of Murphy's hand.

"She's so full of anger and hatred," Allie stated.

"Yeah, well, she's got a lot to be angry about. Nah…I'm out of here," Murphy smirked darkly before following Ila. Ila stormed out of the building and took another bite out of the apple before throwing it aggressively behind her.

"Hey," Murphy shouted from behind her. He caught up to her as she continued to walk quickly.

"Watch where you throw things," Murphy smiled at her, trying to keep things light.

"I'm done with this place. I want to go home," Ila explained angrily, tears welling up in her eyes.

"And where is home for us, exactly?"

"The Ark, Murphy. I want to go back to our friends. It's time," Ila turned to him, stopping. They had reached the forest line. Murphy stared into her eyes for a moment, pondering her suggestion.

"Okay," he replied quietly.

Ila nodded, her face stern and she turned back to continue into the woods. They returned to the beach where they rested on a rock. Night had fallen over the water, the moon bright over their heads.

"We'll get there…together," Murphy told her, taking up her hand, "We'll figure it out."

Ila smiled lightly at him and kissed his cheek. She saw a light over the water's horizon approach the beach and she stood up. Jaha and a tall, man with a misshapen face approached them as the boat's motor could be heard cutting through the waves. Jaha had emerged from the woods and made his way towards the shoreline.

"You're leaving, huh?" Murphy chuckled slightly.

"So are you," Jaha smiled.

"Not with you I'm not," Murphy replied.

Ila observed the boat as Jaha approached them.

"I'm sorry we kept you in the bunker. Is that what you want to hear?" Jaha became snarky, "But truth is, I knew you'd be safe."

"We were doing just fine before you," Ila snapped her head back towards Jaha.

"I need you, John," Jaha admitted.

"Yeah, more food for the sea monster, right?" Murphy was snarky right back.

"Let me prove to you what we can do," Jaha replied, reaching into his jacket pocket.

"Listen to me. We've seen what she can do," Murphy finally stood up, provoked.

"No, you haven't. Not even close."

"Have you lost your marbles, Jaha?"

"I can tell you about the city of light. But you won't understand it until you experience it yourself," Jaha opened his hand to Murphy to reveal a small stone.

"Oh look, there's one. You might want to hold on to that," Ila laughed facetiously.

"That's supposed to take me to the city of light?" Murphy laughed.

"No pain, no hate, no envy," Jaha explained, continuing to hold out the stone to him.

"No thanks," Murphy replied, "Pain, hate, envy? Those are the ABC's of me. Take them away and you've got nothing left."

"How else will we be able to appreciate the good in life without the bad? To feel both makes us human. Otherwise we'd just be like Allie, your bombastic bitch in the red dress," Ila interjected, squinting her eyes suspiciously at Jaha.

"Take care of yourself, John," Jaha smiled, slipping the stone into Murphy's breast pocket on his jacket, "Decide later."

The horn on the boat sounded as it reached the shore.

"John!" a girl's voice came from the boat, "I don't believe it."

Both Ila and Murphy turned and squinted past the boat's headlight.

"Emori?" Murphy shouted out to her, recognizing her tattooed face smiling at him. Jaha and his tall friend boarded the boat.

"What are you waiting for, come on!" she called out to him. Murphy hesitated as Ila made her way over to the boat.

"Where are you going? I thought you didn't like Jaha…or Emori," Murphy asked Ila.

"I don't. I _do_ like their boat, though, and it will get us back to our friends," Ila shouted back to him, climbing aboard.

"Change your mind?" Jaha asked as Murphy made his way after Ila.

"Bite me," he snapped back.

Ila looked at Emori skeptically. Emori stared at her apologetically, attempting to help her aboard.

"Did you steal the boat from someone, too?" Ila growled darkly. Emori frowned. Ila took a seat in the boat, and Murphy sat down next to her.


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20 – Forgiveness vs. Trust**

Ila jumped off the boat and onto the dock. The wood creaked under her feet and sagged slightly under her weight.

"I've been meaning to ask you," Emori stopped Murphy before he could get off the boat, "Why does she call you Murphy and not John?"

"Most people call me Murphy, actually. Only you and Jaha call me by my first name," he replied.

"Hurry up, cupcake!" Ila called back to him, stopping to turn around, smiling. Emori turned to Murphy, eyebrows raised in amusement as he climbed out of the boat.

"And only she can get away with calling me that," Murphy blushed in embarrassment. Emori smirked at him, teasing, as she got out of the boat.

"So she's your girlfriend?" Emori asked as they started up the dock toward Ila.

"Yeah…yeah I guess so," Murphy hesitated as his face burned bright with red. He looked over to Ila who watched them approach with a slight smile. Excitement and anticipation tickled Ila's insides. Her eyes had gained a glimmer of brightness that made her almost unrecognizable. Murphy smiled at her before taking her hand. They waited for the rest of Jaha's group to reach them at the end of the dock – Gideon, the giant, misshapen faced man and Emori's brother, Otan. They continued into the woods together, observing the area around them.

"I am glad I have received your forgiveness, Ila. I hope one day I will also be able to earn your trust," Emori smiled kindly.

"We've all done things. We all have our regrets. I want to be able to move past it all, though," Ila explained.

"There are no regrets in the city of light," Jaha chimed in.

"No means no, Jaha," Ila snapped at him. He continued on ahead of the group with Otan.

"If you are not going to the city of light, then why are you here?" Emori asked her.

"Jaha is going back to the Ark and that's where our friends are," Ila answered.

"I thought you were trying to start over, John?" Emori frowned, turning to him.

"We tried that…ended up locked up in a bunker for 86 days. Nah…I'll take my chances with the old crew," Murphy replied with slight sarcasm in his tone.

"Everyone deserves a second chance, right?" Emori looked at Ila as she asked this.

"Pretty sure I'm on like my eighth chance at this point," Murphy laughed uncomfortably.

"You're a different person, now, though. I can see that," Emori responded.

"Yeah, well…I've been hanging out with the right people," Murphy turned to look at Ila, who smiled at him.

"Yeah, Jaha's _such_ a good role model," Ila stated sarcastically and laughed.

Jaha and Otan had disappeared from sight. Gideon came to a halt to sit down to meditate, closing his eyes after setting a backpack down next to him. Emori left Murphy and Ila's side and Ila pushed Murphy's shoulder so that he was facing her.

"Why are we stopping? We should just go ahead of them and find camp ourselves," Ila began to argue.

"I'm worried about Emori with Jaha. I don't trust him," Murphy replied.

"I don't either, but I think she can take care of herself," Ila's words got lost as she turned to watch Emori sneak up on the backpack by Gideon.

"Emori, what are you doing?!" Murphy whispered irritably.

"I've been offered a better deal on this backpack," she whispered back, calmly.

"Loyalty means nothing to you, does it?" Ila asked rhetorically, under her breath, unsurprised.

"Wasn't Thelonious your leader?" Emori whispered, becoming agitated.

"Not a good one," Murphy replied out of the side of his mouth.

Emori took hold of the backpack and went to stand, but Gideon snapped open his eyes and grabbed her alarmingly by the throat. Ila and Murphy jumped back in surprise. Gideon rose to his feet to reach his great height, continuing to tighten his grasp on Emori's neck. She struggled to breathe as she clawed at his massive hand, dropping the backpack. Ila panicked and froze to her spot while Murphy picked up a large log off the ground and smashed it over the back of Gideon's head. He was unfazed by the attack until Emori took out her knife and slashed at his throat mercilessly. He immediately let her go and she dropped to the ground, gasping for air. Murphy made to help her up and Ila finally snapped out of her panic. She watched the blood gush from Gideon's throat and the life leave his eyes as she slowly bent down to pick up the backpack.

She ran after Emori and Murphy as they had gotten a head start back to the boat. Ila turned her head to look toward the mountain they were supposed to be headed toward – home. She creased her eyebrows pitifully and sighed, turning back toward the boat. Emori turned back to Ila once they had reached the dock, and eyed he backpack.

"You grabbed it," Emori stated, almost a question to Ila's motives.

Ila instinctively handed the bag over to her, "I figured if you needed to kill a man over it, it was worth grabbing."

"Thank you," Emori attempted a smile as she took it. Ila nodded in response and lowered her eyes in disappointment. As Murphy and Emori hovered over the bag to open it, Ila made her way over to the boat in silence. She reached the end of the dock and turned to look back at them. She watched as Emori leaned over the bag and kissed Murphy on the cheek. He leaned back a little bit, hesitant in receiving.

Ila quickly snapped her eyes down as a pain struck her heart, causing a sick churning feeling that made her want to throw it up. She looked back up and saw Jaha emerge from the woods with Otan, who pulled out a knife. Her heart sank back down into her chest, right into her stomach, and she bolted for Murphy and Emori. Otan made to grab Emori as Murphy jumped back with the backpack. Ila shoved her out of the way and quickly found herself with Otan's knife to her neck, threatening. He held Ila's arm tightly behind her back.

"Nobody move or I slit her throat!" Otan shouted.

"Otan! What are you doing?" Emori shouted angrily at her brother.

"John, just hand over the bag. No one needs to get hurt," Jaha smiled kindly, but panic flitted in his eyes.

"Let Ila go, or the bitch in the red dress goes for a swim," Murphy warned as he slowly lowered it over the water.

"Don't!" Jaha shouted, officially panicked.

Murphy stared darkly at Jaha, continuing to hold the bag over the water, crouching at the side of the dock. Jaha nodded toward Otan and Ila was let free. She darted toward Murphy as he threw the bag over her head. She could hear it splash in the water behind her but she did not turn back as Murphy took her hand and led her back to the boat. Emori had already untied it from the dock and started the motor as they clambered inside.

"Are you okay?" Murphy asked Ila, holding onto her shoulders.

Ila nodded, speechless and the three looked back at Jaha, who watched them ride away.

"Bon Voyage, motherfuckers!" Murphy shouted angrily at them.

Emori turned and smiled at them, focusing particularly on Ila. Ila looked over at Emori and she saw her mouth the words, "thank you" to her. Ila nodded with a serious expression, her forehead starting to hurt from her creased eyebrows. Murphy sat her down and continued to hold onto her, squeezing her hands in his.

"We'll find another way back. Don't worry," Murphy attempted to reassure her.

Ila's eyes were transfixed on Emori at the wheel of the boat, unconvinced.


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21 - On the Road Again**

Ila hid in the trees with Emori as Murphy lay deadly still in the road. A traveler with a cart was approaching him and Emori's grip on her knife tightened. Ila's eyes narrowed as she, too, tightened her grip – but hers was on the gun that fit snugly in the back of her pants unbeknownst to both her companions, still. The traveler sat down his cart and poked at Murphy, who Emori had covered in blood to make him look dead. Emori climbed out of the brush silently as the traveler began to untie Murphy's shoes. She held her knife to the man's throat.

Ila worked her way down the tree, keeping alert of their surroundings. Once she made it to the ground, Emori had already knocked out the traveler and Murphy had started to put his shirt back on.

"I still don't understand the purpose of stealing from others. Is this really necessary?" Ila questioned the two.

"Only if we want to live," Emori replied.

"I think we can manage without the expense of other's. From my experience, these things typically come back to haunt us," Ila suggested.

"Relax, I do this all the time," Emori tried to reassure her.

"Yeah, and karma's a bitch," Ila murmured to herself, "Haven't we had enough bad luck?"

Emori sorted through the cart as Ila made her way over to Murphy. She began to wipe off the blood and mud from his face from the water in her canteen.

"We'll be okay," Murphy also attempted to reassure her.

"We'd be okay back at our camp…with our people," Ila reminded him, "You've been having us dance around camp for ages. Why aren't we going home?"

Murphy stared at her sadly, frowning, disappointed.

"You really think things are just gonna be okay if we go back? We don't even know what we'd be going back to. Who knows how much has changed?"

"Yes, but so have _we_ ," Ila urged him, "Murphy, these are our people. This is what we've been trying to go back to for the past three months! I can't throw all that away when we're so close!"

"She's right," Emori stated, finishing up stuffing her bag with what was in the traveler's cart, "Thelonius took my brother to your camp and believe it or not, I still care about him."

"He was going to kill you!" Murphy shouted.

"He's my brother, and I have to go find him," Emori continued.

"Fine," Murphy gave in, "Go ahead. I'm not stopping you. But I'm not going near that nutjob."

"You're being unreasonable," Ila sighed with concern, "You can't just go off on your own!"

"Watch me!" Murphy began to walk off, taking a backpack. He was furious. Steaming.

"Murphy, please don't do this!" Ila called after him.

"Let him go," Emori held her back.

"But-"

"He'll be okay, and as far as I've noticed, you two always end up back together somehow, anyway."

Ila stared at Emori for a moment, sadness sunken into her eyes as tears began to flood over her eyelashes like a waterfall. She bit her lip hard to hold them back and managed to peel back her emotions. She turned back to watch Murphy disappear into the forest. She could not stand to see the sight and suddenly gave out a sharp, helpless scream.

"Come on. Let's go," Emori pulled her in the opposite direction and wrapped an arm around her waist. Ila looked back and Murphy was gone. She grabbed her arm tightly and began to dig her nails in. Bruises would certainly appear in their places.

"What am I doing?" Ila shook her head incredulously. She brushed off Emori with an aggressive shove, running back for Murphy. Emori watched her in confusion before chasing after her, but couldn't keep up as she took off at a run into the forest. Ila's senses actively listened, alert for any danger around her. She began to slow down and checked Murphy's trail. She was still on it. Clumsy. He'd be caught by grounders in no time if even she could track him.

The afternoon sun began to creep up over Ila's hanging head. She was tired of chasing after this asshole already. Just like before the bunker days. It was a bittersweet feeling that Ila chewed the inside of her mouth on. She suddenly perked up when she heard a branch snap. Someone was coming up the road. She pulled herself off of it and into the forest line, clapping a hand over her mouth to contain her breathing. She spotted Emori across the road, hiding herself until suddenly disappearing. Ila peeked down the road and saw a group of men with a cart…and Murphy, faking dead on the ground before them. She pulled out her gun and aimed. One man took Murphy up abruptly by the hair and lifted him to his feet.

"Where are the two girls?" the man demanded.

"Their gone," Murphy answered, exhausted with struggling, as though he had already given up.

Ila pulled the trigger but the gun only clicked – jammed.

"Shit," Ila looked at her gun, panicked and snapped her attention back to the grounders. They heard. Murphy began to make a fuss to get their attention back but one was still insistent on Ila's trail. Ila stood up and snuck down off down the road, toward the grounder cart silently. As some were distracted with the sound Ila made a few feet back, others preoccupied with Murphy, Ila snuck her way under the covers and disguised herself with the supplies in their cart.

"How does a member of skaikru come across the holy symbol?" one of the grouders asked Murphy.

"Put him in the back. We're taking him with us," another grounder suggested. Murphy caught sight of Ila settle into the cart and stopped struggling. The grounders brought him to the back of their cart where they threw him in, slamming him into Ila.

"Ow," she accidentally mumbled under the covers.

"Ow, geez. Could you be a little more gentle?" Murphy coughed sarcastically to cover up Ila's voice. He was heavy against her and breathing was a struggle under the burlap blanket. The cart finally took off down the road again.


	22. Chapter 22

Ila was starting to feel cramped and uncomfortable by the time the cart rolled its way into Polis. She could not see where they were headed, but could certainly tell that had entered a city, much to her disappointment. She was surrounded by grounders that most likely would have wanted to see her dead. The bustling sounds of trades in the markets and townsfolk around them were enough to make Ila's heart pound, especially when the cart entered an area in town where it was less congested. The cart stopped in this area and Murphy's weight was finally taken off of her, to her physical relief. She waited for a while for things to quiet down as night crept into the alley. She listened to her surroundings but stayed completely still, becoming stiff. The city became quiet with the night. She aimed her gun, holding it at her side as she prepared herself for the oncoming grounder that walked closer to the cart.

The blanket that hid her was suddenly pulled back and the grounders were taken by surprise as she pointed her gun at them, unsure if it could even go off.

"Take me to the boy, now, or I shoot," Ila threatened the two grounders that stood with their hands held up in surrender.

"Shoot and you'll be surrounded and dead within seconds," one of the grounders growled at her.

"You want to die anyway?" Ila questioned.

The grounder remained silent and gestured his head for her to follow. She hopped out of the cart, putting the gun to the grounder's back and followed him down into the building that the cart was parked next to in the alleyway. Once inside, they crawled down a narrow staircase

"You know, you could have just as easily shot us in the forest and eliminated this whole rescue from your journey to begin with," the grounder realized, turning back to look up at Ila. Fear enveloped her eyes and without thinking, kicked him down the steps, knocking him out temporarily. She quickly made her way down the stairs and stood over the grounder, who began to stir. She kicked him again in the head, knocking him out cold for sure this time. She dragged the grounder off down the hall, tucking her gun back into the back of her pants. She shoved him behind a few barrels, hidden from sight.

"No, hold on, wait, wait, just listen to me, okay, listen-," Ila heard Murphy's voice from inside one of the rooms down the corridor. There was a loud crack and then another. She hurried toward his voice and silently slid out the gun from her pants again, taking out the knife from its sheath in the other. She peeked into the doorway and found a bald man standing before Murphy, holding up a whip, ready to crack it at Murphy once more. Murphy was bound to a chair, bloodied and beaten.

"STOP IT!" Murphy screamed in pain.

"Do it again, and I'll put a bullet between your eyes," Ila stepped out from behind the door, holding up her gun, pointing it at the back of the man's head. He turned around and faced her. Murphy's good eyed widened with surprise and worry.

"Skaikru. How did you get in here?" the bald man asked, angry. He backed away as she approached Murphy's side.

"Same way you're going to let us leave – the front door," Ila replied, "Now drop it."

The man obeyed and Ila immediately ran at him, taking him by surprise and spin kicked him in the head. The man fell to the ground, knocked out. Ila spun around and fell to her knees before Murphy. He was in terrible shape - an eye swollen shut already and blood pouring from the wounds in his face.

"You know, we gotta stop meeting like this," Ila attempted to smile at him as she started to work on the ties around his wrists.

"This has to be the dumbest thing you've ever done," he looked down at her, voice quavering, "You could've gotten home without me."

"I could've," Ila replied, moving onto his other wrist, "but I didn't want to _get_ there without you. It wouldn't _be_ home."

Murphy continued to look down at her as she moved onto the restraints around his ankles, unable to find the words to respond.

"I've lost so many people I love and I couldn't do anything about it. I can't lose you, too. Not if I can help it," Ila continued, a tear streaming down her face as she looked back up at him.

"Ila!" Murphy shouted and made to push her out of the way, but before Ila could turn, something hard hit the side of her head and she blacked out.

Ila nodded awake, pain shooting through her skull as she lifted her head up. She looked about, realizing she was still in the same room, but she couldn't move. She looked down to find herself tied up to a chair of her own.

"Come on. I don't have any details, okay? On the Ark, they just told us it was countries, politics. Big surprise, they were wrong," Murphy's voice came from beside her. She turned to him and saw the bald man was still interrogating him, but left in a huff.

"Hey, are you alright?" Murphy turned to Ila, noticing that she was finally awake.

"My head hurts," Ila groaned in pain.

"Yeah, thanks to brain-dead baldy," Murphy growled.

"How long was I out?"

"A while. I've told everything I can to this guy but he just won't let up," Murphy replied, leaning back in his chair. Ila began to work on the restraints around her wrists, slowly tearing away at the fabric on the edge of her chair.

"We have to get out of here," Ila mumbled.

"You're telling me," Murphy sighed, closing his eyes for a moment.

"Bastard," Ila grumbled agitated.

"Who me?" Murphy perked up to an empty chair beside him.

"No, not you. That guy took my gun," Ila replied from behind him. She was searching about the room and finally found her knife on a table. She grabbed it and got to work on Murphy's restraints.

"Since when did you have a gun, anyway?" Murphy questioned.

"From the bunker," Ila replied shortly, cutting off the restraints around his wrists and ankles.

Murphy stood up slowly, uneasily as he tried to regain his natural balance. Ila helped him up by grabbing his arm and ran over to a space pod near the rear of the room and took the staff that was holding up the pod's door. The door slammed down and revealed the name on the pod.

Murphy snapped his head in her direction in surprise. He walked over to her and she handed him the stick to lean on.

"Polis…Polaris," Murphy whispered as the two observed the burned letters on the pod.

Ila tried the door but the handled was stuck. Footsteps threatened down the hallway and Ila turned back into the room, grabbing Murphy by the arm. She led him behind the pod, out of sight. Once hidden from view, they suddenly caught sight of the paintings on the walls of the lair. Ambiguous at best, it told the story of the grounders and where the pod originally came from.

The man entered the room and walked in, panicked upon seeing Murphy and Ila missing. His eyes searched the room and he started for the pod. Ila quickly turned, readying her knife to strike. Taken by surprise, the man caught the metal in his arm and shrieked in pain. She knocked him to the ground and held her knife to his throat.

"Ila, don't!" Murphy shouted at her, grabbing her by the arm.

Ila turned to look at Murphy in bewilderment but the man took the opportunity and spun Ila around, pinning her to the ground.

"Stop! Don't hurt her!" Murphy pulled at him weakly in vain.

Ila and the man stared darkly at one another as he held a hand around her neck. He was too heavy for her to make a move, having pinned her down too well.

"Listen to me, I can tell you about Polis, about Polaris!" Murphy struggled to get his attention, "The end of the world - that was part of our story, too! Why we had to stay in space. Polaris was the only station that wouldn't join sky crew, so they blew it up."

"What do you mean?" the man finally let up on Ila and stood. Ila, herself, remained on the floor, gasping for air and turned over, grasping at the cold stone floors as Murphy distracted him.

"Look, there's the woman from the pod. She must have gotten out in time," Murphy indicated the paintings on the wall.

Ila got to her hands and knees and took up her knife again, but before she could make a move, the man spun around and kicked her in the stomach, pushing the remainder of the air from her lungs. Another kick to her head and she was out again.

Ila awoke some time later, more pain surging through her head. Her mouth was gagged and she was tied to a chair. She was not, however, in the same room. Murphy sat tied in a chair in front of her, in the same condition she was in, but he was sleeping. She looked about the room – a bedroom with a large, open window that let sunlight flood in. The doors suddenly opened and Ila turned her head to see Clarke walk through them. Both girls looked at each other in surprise.

"Ila!?" Clarke ran to her side, acknowledging Murphy's presence as well as she pushed Ila's dirty, blood stained hair out of her face and removed the gag form her mouth.

"God, I hate that guy," Ila coughed.

"What guy?" Clarke asked, confused. She continued to untie her and turned to Murphy, who was finally waking up. The door to the room opened and the bald man entered.

"That guy," Ila growled to Clarke.

"Titus, what's this about?" Clarke asked him, rage building.

Ila moved toward Murphy and began to untie him as Clarke turned her attention to Titus.

"I'm sorry it had to come to this, Clarke," Titus replied, holding up a gun.

"Titus, I'm leaving right now. Octavia is waiting for me. Just let me take my friends and we'll go," Clarke stated, holding up her hands.

"I wish I could," Titus frowned.

"Lexa will know it was you," Clarke snapped at him.

"She'll think it was them. Skaikru weapons and Skaikru thieves. She'll be angry enough to declare war," Titus announced.

"There's just one problem," Ila chimed in, standing up as she finished untying Murphy. Both Clarke and Titus turned their attention to her, curious.

"Your gun – well, mine really, you stole it – is _jammed_ ," Ila barked, making her way toward him after finishing untying Murphy.

He pull the trigger with a click – still jammed as Ila had said. Ila kicked the gun out of his hand and threw an angry fist at his face, throwing him to the ground. She kicked his side over and over and over again until Murphy took her by the shoulders, pulling her away.

"Ila, stop. You've done enough," Murphy's hands gripped her tightly, struggling to hold her back. Titus was writhing on the ground in pain when the doors to the room opened. The Commander entered and her face immediately slipped from surprise to anger.

"What is the meaning of this?" Lexa shouted.

"Lexa, Titus attacked us. He was trying to kill me," Clarke begged, going to Lexa's side. She put a hand to her arm but Lexa brushed her off.

"Is this true, Titus?"

Titus's bloodied and beaten head nodded as he clutched his side. He was sullen and defeated.

"You. I know you," Lexa approached Ila, who was still enraged as Murphy continued to hold onto her.

"What are you two doing here?"

"Why don't you ask him?" Murphy snarled, "He brought us here and tortured us. Used us as pawns in some messed up game to get back at Clarke."

"I'm disappointed, Titus," Lexa turned back to him and waved a hand for two guards to enter the room.

"You - take Titus away to be cleaned up, and you - give these two supplies and horses," Lexa demanded.

"You're letting us go?" Ila finally managed to calm herself down to speak.

"Yes. But you need to hurry to get inside the area within the blockade before it forms. Go," Lexa commanded them. Ila looked at Clarke, expecting her to follow.

"I'm not going," Clarke confessed.

"You must go _now_ ," Lexa urged Murphy and Ila. Murphy pushed Ila out of the room and the two followed the guard out of the tower. The guard walked briskly down the steps, arms swinging heavily by his sides.

"Hey, I've been meaning to ask – how did you manage to get out of the cart once we were in Polis?" Murphy whispered to her, "I thought you said your gun was jammed."

"It was in the forest."

"So you managed to walk right through Polis on a bluff?"

"We're criminals, right?" Ila smiled at him, her anger finally subsided. Murphy smiled proudly at her in return.

"So you had no idea if the gun was going to go off when Titus meant to shoot you…did you?"

"Yeah, that was a bluff, too," Ila shrugged with guilt.

"So you could have died," Murphy's smile was replaced with a look of dread.

"It was a risk I was willing to take. My concern though," Ila spoke a little louder to the guard, "Is how we're going to ride these horses. I don't know about Murphy, but I've never ridden before."

"Mm, she's got a point," Murphy agreed.

"We don't have time for formal lessons," the guard grumbled as they stepped out into the light of the city. Two horses were already awaiting them with small packs.

"Just give us a quick run-down and we'll be out of your hair," Ila stated.

The guard stopped before the horses and looked at the two of them.

"Feet go in stirrups, hands on reins. Push in knees to go faster, pull reins back to brake. Pull the reins in the direction you want horse to go. Good?"

"Sounds good," Ila put her foot in the stirrup and swung her leg over the horse, taking the reins up in her hands. Murphy needed a little more help into his saddle and nearly toppled over the other side. Once he was settled the guard pointed them toward the gate and the two were off at a gallop. Home. They were finally headed _home._


	23. Flashback 1

Ila walked into the classroom, greeted by Jaha, Kane, Abby and Pike. There were whispers of the delinquents in Sky Box taking an Earth Skills class, but she was confused – why would they need Earth skills, and only Earth Skills. There were several other kids her age in the room, spreading out to claim their seats. Ila looked around at them, holding her arms close to her body as though she was afraid anyone would touch her. As the seats began to fill up, she decided to take the one by a young, long haired brunette girl. She looked even more scared than Ila as her hazel eyes shifted about the room.

"The ability to make fire kept the human race alive during the Ice Age," Pike began, showing the class how to create a fire, "And who knows…It may do the same for us one day."

His little pile of sticks and kindling lit with small flames that licked upwards to the ceiling, but were quickly blown out by a short breath from Pike.

"Who would like to help show the class how it is done?"

The room was silent with apathy.  
"Ms. Domek…how about you?" Pike smiled kindly at her. She nervously peeled herself from her chair and made her way to the front of the room, standing before the fire starter set. She took up the tools and began to work at the already hot wood. The fire started back up in no time and Ila smiled proudly to herself.

"Very good!"  
Loud, mocking claps came from the back of the room which prompted some of the delinquents to chuckle.  
"Something you'd like to add, Mr. Murphy? Perhaps you'd like to tell us the key to surviving on the ground?" Pike frowned, irritated.  
"No, not really," the young man stated with an evil grin on his lips. He leaned back precariously on his chair. Ila eyed him suspiciously.  
The delinquents laughed again.

"You wouldn't be laughing if you were on the ground and Ila was the only one that is able to survive, now would you? You're going to want someone like her on your side. You can take a seat now, Ms. Domek. Good job." Pike placed a gentle hand on Ila's back to guide her back to her seat but she jumped as though he had hit her. Her faced wrinkled in anger and the skin he had touched crawled.

"DON'T TOUCH ME," Ila shouted at him reactively. The room died with silence. Everyone held their breath in surprise and anticipation.  
Pike's eyes were wide with fear as he backed off. Ila shrank back to her seat, upset with herself that she had lashed out like that. He meant nothing by it.  
"I'm sorry," Pike apologized, "The key to surviving on the ground and on the Ark is to keep fighting at all costs against all odds. The minute you give up, you're dead."

Pike stared at Ila for a bit.

"I have no doubt that you would manage quite well on the ground, Ms. Domek," Pike reassured her.  
Ila's eyes teared up and she pulled her knees to her chest. She decided she was not going to enjoy Earth Skills quite as much. 

It was their last class, much to Ila's relief. She sat down in her usual seat next to Octavia, who had learned to ease up since their first class and opened up to Ila about her story of living under the floor. They had bonded over the real truths about their stories instead of what the rumors that went around led people to believe. Suddenly, Pike burst through the room.  
"Everybody take your seats. Now!" He shouted, "I'm sure all of you will be glad to know that we are officially done talking about Earth Skills."  
"Oh, great. In that case…" Murphy made to exit the room, but Pike pushed him back into his seat.  
"Sit down. How would you feel about assisting me with today's lesson, Mr. Murphy?" Pike's voice was a low growl – a bubbling rage that sounded like it was coming to its tipping point.

"Sign me up," Murphy joked sarcastically. His words were met with a swift slap across the face, to which Ila spun around in her chair.  
"What the hell was that fo-"  
Pike slapped Murphy again, sending chills throughout the room and leaving everyone silent. Ila moved to the edge of her seat, gripping the back of her chair tightly as her eyebrows furrowed. She was ready to jump across the room.  
"I know all about you, John Murphy…Mother drank herself to death after father was floated for stealing medicine to save you," Pike started, standing over Murphy as he looked down his nose at him.  
Ila twisted the skin of her palm around the top of her chair, rage rising and eyes burning into Pike as he continued to criticize Murphy. Sure, Murphy was a dick…but he never actually attacked anyone in class.

"You know, I get it… trying to teach us to fight back," Murphy mumbled, lip bleeding.  
"Wrong!" Pike shouted as he took Murphy up by the collar of his shirt and proceeded to throw him across the room. Ila bolted from her seat and punched Pike in the jaw, spun, and kicked him in the stomach to throw him back off his feet. The rest of the kids began to attack him as well while he was down. Ila watched as what she had started took shape and turned to look at Murphy, who was slowly getting up off the floor. The two stared at each other a bit and nodded in acknowledgment of the situation until the officers barged into the room and pulled the kids off of Pike.  
"Are you kids out of your minds? What is this?" an officer shouted.  
"This is graduation. Congratulations. Class dismissed."


	24. Flashback 2

_Flashback_

It had been a few weeks since Ila and Murphy had been locked in the lighthouse bunker. The two were never really sure what time it was as they couldn't see daylight…or the outside world for that matter. Ila's schedule kept them in a good rhythm, though. It was nice not having to run for their lives every single day. Pleasant that no one was trying to kill them – to their knowledge. It was relaxing…but somehow, the two found ways to be stressed out.

Ila was constantly concerned with Mount Weather. Where were the other forty-something kids that were captured? Was Bellamy okay? Clarke? Octavia? Did anyone die while they were gone? Was it her fault? Murphy was a little less distracted by the others and more so on the here and now with Ila. What if they didn't have enough food to last them? Will they ever manage to get out? Will they die there?

The two sat on the couch, looking like throw blankets with their heads bent back, eyes staring blankly up at the ceiling. It was the end of their day and neither of them was up for another game of pool. Ila won every time. "Simple geometry," she would always explain.

Murphy had been sipping at a bottle of aged scotch that was in their collection stacked on the shelf behind the bar– already halfway through it. Ila turned to look at him – his face was flushed. He began to tilt closer to her.

"You should slow down on that stuff. It's not good for your health," Ila stated.

Murphy looked to her with an unamused look, eyes glazed over and unfocused. He tipped the bottle back to his lips and knocked back another large gulp. He smiled stupidly.

"You know, back in the Ark, I thought you were pretty cool for taking on Pike like you did…and then when we got to the ground, we had a really rough start…but you turned out pretty okay." Murphy's words were slurred as he leaned in toward Ila.

"Really…really pretty," Murphy's words trailed off as his head lowered.

Ila raised an eyebrow and smiled – holding back a bit of laughter. Murphy scooted a little closer to her and wrapped an arm around her. His breath was heavy with alcohol, making Ila a little uncomfortable.

"You know when I caught you dancing in the forest the day you woke up from being sick? That – that was the day I really – really felt something. Like REALLY felt feelings, you know? I was just so happy that you were alive, that you were gonna be okay. I didn't even care if you were mad at me. And then, when you danced back in Arkadia. You were like this…this VISION. Like, every time you dance…it's like magic, and I fall for it every…single…time."

"You know you're going to regret everything you're saying later, right?" Ila smirked at him.

"That is not current Murphy's problem. That's future Murphy's problem, and he and I don't get along," Murphy explained with a frown.

"And why's that?"

Murphy took another swig.

"Because I don't even know if that Murphy is going to exist." Murphy's eyes became teary, but he held them back tightly.

"Don't say stuff like that," Ila frowned, eyebrows creasing. Her heart sank.

"We're gonna get out of here…someday…" Ila looked away from him.

" _You're_ gonna make it. Pike said you would make it. I'm lucky to have you around, according to him. But…but you don't want to put up with me…not when you deserve better," Murphy choked up, tears finally breaking down his reddened cheeks.

"Fuck Pike. We both deserved better," Ila leaned back once more, looking up at the ceiling again. Her neck arched against Murphy's arm. He leaned into her and rested his head on her shoulder.

"We deserved better than this life…but you've been the nicest thing I've been given since we've been down here," Ila continued.

Murphy smiled and closed his eyes, beginning to doze off. Ila kissed the top of his head and pulled the yellow blanket over him, carefully pulling the bottle of scotch from his hand.

"Good night, Murphy."


	25. Flashback 3

"Let's make pool interesting, shall we?" Murphy smirked across the pool table at Ila, leaning over the table with one hand.

"I'm not going to let you win, if that's what you're asking," Ila chuckled, teasing.

"No no no. I mean let's change the game up a little bit to make it more interesting. When one of us gets a ball in, they get to ask the other a really personal question," Murphy replied, slightly frustrated.

Ila looked at him in consideration, shrugged, and pulled back and broke the triangle. Her hit was a little weak, but she managed to get a ball in.

"Looks like I get the first question," Ila smiled in satisfaction. Murphy leaned on his stick, already defeated.

"What are you most afraid of?"

"Pain," Murphy replied quickly.

"Boring," Ila mumbled as she watched Murphy reach across the table to take his shot. One in.

"What did you want to be when you grew up?"

"Probably a teacher like my mom," Ila responded.

"I didn't know your mom was a teacher…What did she teach?" Murphy asked, puzzled.

"Ah! You already got your question!" Ila scolded jokingly. Murphy pouted as Ila made to take another shot.

"She taught history, by the way," Ila answered him as she got two balls in. She leaned back and thought for a moment.

"Why are you so hell-bent on revenge?" Ila was a little more serious now.

"I couldn't just let them get away with it, now could I? Sometimes I have to take the justice system into my own hands," Murphy answered, frowning.

"Revenge isn't justice. Murder isn't justified."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah…next question," Murphy waved her off.

"Alright…What do you want to do when we get out of here?"

Murphy needed to mull the question over for a bit to consider his options.

"I definitely would like to take a swing at Jaha. After that…just be free I guess," Murphy replied.

"I couldn't agree with you more. You're turn." Ila took a step back as Murphy took his shot, but missed. Ila took her turned and missed as well.

"Well, this might take all day," Murphy sighed.

"I'm pretty sure we have time," Ila replied unenthusiastically. Murphy made to take a second shot and got one in.

"Where did you learn how to dance?" Murphy asked.

Ila stared at him for a little bit, her expression turned sad – almost hurt.

"My mother…" Ila replied softly, "She was a big history nut but really liked reading about ballet. She thinks that the evolution and history of ballet was magical and studied it on her own time. She started teaching me how to dance when I caught her trying to attempt it. She was terrible."

Ila laughed – teary eyed. Murphy brushed his fingers against her hand and she looked up at him. Tears fell down her face and she quickly wiped them away.

"You're turn," Murphy smiled at her. Ila heaved a heavy sigh and made her move – missed. Murphy got his move next and struck two in.

"Why did you attack Pike the last day of Earth Skills?"

The tears had disappeared from Ila's eyes at this point, but the redness in her cheeks remained.

"You had already taken two hits and you weren't fighting back. I couldn't let someone abuse their power of authority…again."

Murphy broke his eye contact with her, looking thoughtful as he remembered what had happened between her and Royson. He desperately tried to think up another question as quickly as he cold to change the subject. He thought of Kwon, who was also at Arkadia.

"Have you and Kwon ever…?"

"No!" Ila laughed in exasperation. "Of course not! No!"

Murphy secretly sighed in relief.

"Kwon and I have been friends since we were kids. Neither of us has ever thought of each other that way," Ila explained.

"Are you sure about that?" Murphy questioned.

"Absolutely!" Ila laughed again – this time more nervously as though she didn't believe the words. She could not surely speak for Kwon, but for her, he was practically a brother, and they've always been comfortable that way. Murphy looked at her sideways, still unconvinced.

"Murphy, you're the only guy I've been with…well, that and…" Ila's eyes trailed away along with her words.

"Nope, just me," Murphy replied smugly, "Only me."

Ila looked back up at him and smiled sweetly. Murphy looked back at her, returning the smile.

"Who's turn is it?"

"I believe it's mine," Ila replied, leaning over the table once more. She took the shot and got three balls in.

"Awesome!" Ila beamed. Murphy sighed reluctantly.

"Okay…Why did you offer me your tent when we first landed?"

Murphy raised a curious eyebrow.

"Maybe I just wanted a cute girl to come back to my tent," Murphy smirked evilly.

"Cupcake, you are no Bellamy," Ila laughed.

"Whatever," Murphy spat.

"Seriously, though. Why?"

"You're tent had just been destroyed…I felt bad," Murphy gave in.

"Okay then, next question…why were you crying that night when I first slept in your tent?"

Murphy went quiet, thinking back to that night. He couldn't quite remember crying, but remembered the nightmare that he had been having.

"I was dreaming about my parents…what they would think if they knew I had made it to the ground," Murphy's eyes began to tear up.

"What were they like?" Ila asked cautiously.

A small smile tugged at the side of Murphy's lips, but quickly swallowed up in the sorrow.

"My dad was really great…he, um – he'd do anything for me. He spent a lot of time with me while my mom worked a lot. She wanted us to have nice things, so she worked a ton of hours. I didn't really get to see her much until my dad died. She didn't really care about having nice things at that point…she didn't really think she deserved them," Murphy stopped, his voice quavering. Ila rushed around the table to hug him and gently kissed him on the cheek. Murphy lifted his arms weakly so that they wrapped around Ila's waist, letting his head rest on her shoulder as he continued to cry. He then proceeded to pull slowly away from her and wipe the tears from his eyes.

"My turn," he faked a smiled. It took him a while to line up his shot. Ila's eyes watched him warily with tears. He almost looked like he was about to break. She couldn't ask questions like that again. She hated to see him hurting like this. He finally took his shot and got a ball in. He considered his question very carefully before asking.

"Why did you save me from the pitfall when we went to save Jasper?"

Ila was taken slightly aback by the question. She didn't really like the honest answer to this one.

"Instinct, I guess," Ila grumbled.

"Oh," Murphy replied, disappointed, "You're turn, then."

Ila took her turn and got another ball in. She ran a hand through her hair in search of a question and seems she had fished one out.

"What did you and that Emori girl talk about back in the Dead Zone?" Ila asked with increasing curiosity. Murphy's face turned slightly pink in embarrassment.

"Nothing! I mean…I didn't really tell her anything because I didn't want to make a bad impression-"

"So you wanted to impress her?" Ila teased, but Murphy took her seriously and became flustered.

"Not like that! I was just trying to make friends," Murphy struggled to explain himself. Ila enjoyed watching him get like this. It was entertainment. Murphy quickly went into his shot to recover the situation, moving on with the game. Ila couldn't contain her smiling. Murphy got two more balls in, leaving only one left.

"Have you…" Murphy paused to think, "Have you ever thought about what would happen to the other if one of us died?" Murphy stared at her intently.

Ila shifted her weight uneasily from one foot to the other, thinking.

"It's not something I like to think about, but it's definitely crossed my mind…"

"And?"

"I think we'd probably go crazy without the other…especially in here," Ila answered.

"I think you'd be alright…you'd probably move on," Murphy sniffed, rubbing his nose onto the back of his sleeve.

"I bet anything you'd go for Bellamy," Murphy teased.

"Like you wouldn't go for Emori?" Ila snapped back at him. They smiled flirtatiously at one another.

"No…it would probably take some time…" Ila continued, sadly.

"Yeah…" Murphy agreed, dropping his head.

"One more question," Ila reminded him. Murphy thought very carefully, assuming Ila would most certainly grab the last shot. He wanted his last question to count. He wanted to ask something that has been aching in the pit of his stomach for a while now.

"Why didn't you tell anyone you were pregnant?" The words were cautious as they left Murphy's lips. His eyes looked into hers deeply – so serious.

"Because…I didn't want to believe it was happening…I would have had to explain the situation and I didn't want to at the time," Ila explained with a solemn tone.

"We could have taken care of you-"

"That's the thing! I didn't want to be taken care of!" Ila interrupted him, "When we first landed, I didn't even want to be near anyone. Had I the choice, I would've ran away…so in a way…you did take care of me." Ila's thoughts trailed off.

Murphy made to say one last thing, but decided not to – swallowing his words. _Had she told us, she wouldn't have had the miscarriage_ , he thought. Ila decided to end the conversation by taking her turn, getting the last ball in. She bit her lip.

"Why haven't you asked about Royson? This whole game you had the perfect opportunity to ask about what happened and you didn't," Ila asked, frowning. Murphy moved around the table to her, placing a gentle hand on her hip.

"I didn't think we needed to bring that stuff up again. If you wanted to tell me about it…you would have already," Murphy spoke softly.

"I saw your face that day when you met Royson…you wanted to kill him."

"You're damn right. No one should ever get away with what he did!"

"But revenge isn't justice, Murphy," Ila reminded him.

"Yeah,yeah." Murphy rolled his eyes.

"Besides…I have you now." Ila smiled at him, eyes flirtatious with a small sparkle. Murphy leaned in to kiss her in the lips.


	26. Chapter 23

Chapter 23 - Distance

Ila and Murphy guided their horses through the city of Polis; the gates were already opened for them to leave as soon as they approached. Ila took off at a high speed gallop. _Free. Finally free and going home._ The wind whipped through her hair as she sped across the fields, shortly followed by Murphy, who seemed to be struggling to keep a straight line with his horse. Once he had caught up with her, he saw the bright smile that had grown on her face. She was bright and beaming and the sunlight warmed her face with happiness. Murphy's heart fluttered – a million butterflies leaping from his stomach to his head, giving him a high. He could hardly contain the feelings as he smiled at her with an open-mouthed grin. His eyes drank in as much of her happy face as he could. He wasn't sure how long it would last and wanted to hold onto the feelings.

"Do you think Clarke will be okay?" Ila asked him, still smiling.

"I think Princess can handle herself," Murphy replied. Ila let out a small laugh. God, when was the last time he had heard her laugh? Two figures appeared on the horizon, speeding ahead of them on horseback.

"Is that Octavia?" Ila asked incredulously.

"Couldn't be!" Murphy responded in awe.

"Octavia!" Ila shouted after them. A braided head turned for half a second to look back and the rider slowed her horse so that Ila and Murphy could catch up. Once close enough, Ila could finally recognize Octavia's hazel eyes that bore through her dark war paint. Octavia looked at them both in disbelief – shocked.

"Holy hell. Where the hell have you two been?!" Octavia finally smiled at Ila.

"Very long story," Murphy smirked with a hint of irritation.

"It's really good to see you," Ila beamed at her.

Their horses continued to keep up their speed as they talked.

"We have to keep moving! If we slow down, the blockade won't let us back to Arkadia," Octavia explained.

"What is the blockade even for?" Murphy asked coming up on the other side of Ila.

"The grounders want Arkadia to hand over Chancellor Pike," there was a disgusted snarl in Octavia's voice.

"Chancellor who?" Murphy questioned, recognizing the name.

"Chancellor Pike won the election because people were afraid of the grounders. He vetoed the alliance and refused to join the coalition. He taught Earth Skills back on the Ark…Remember?"

"Yeah, I remember who the guy is, but we literally have no idea what any of that means," Murphy frowned.

"We're a little out of the loop," Ila added.

"He's put Arkadia in a bad spot and everyone is fighting against one another," Octavia's friend commented.

"And who are you?" Murphy leaned forward slightly to look at the stern-faced woman. She had a sling around her arm but managed her horse well all the same.

"This is Indra. She's my Master and Teacher," Octavia stated, "Look, all you need to know is that he's got everyone against one another and my brother is on the wrong side of this war."

"Bellamy's still alive?" Ila smiled, hopeful, but sad to hear the news, "What happened at Mount Weather?"

"That's also a very long story," Octavia looked away from them.

"Did everyone get out?" Ila looked worried.

"You could say that," Octavia responded ominously.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Murphy asked, concerned.

Octavia stayed silent as they continued to ride into the woods.

"We should be inside the blockade territory by now," Octavia's friend stated. The group began to slow down to a trot as the night began to creep above their heads and flood the woods. Things began to look familiar as they passed by a stream that trickled down, snaking its way between the trees. Ila's heart raced nervously as she began to veer off in another direction, though.

"Where are you going?" Octavia asked, confused.

"Home," Ila sighed, heavy with melancholy.

"Not back to Arkadia?" Indra followed up.

"Arkadia isn't home…It never was," Ila frowned, her eyebrows creasing with regret.

"I can understand that. I'm not sure where home is anymore," Octavia replied.

"I'm sure we'll meet up again soon," Ila waved.

"Good luck," Octavia smiled kindly at her, coming to a conclusion as to where she was going.

Octavia and Indra continued on into the forest as Ila turned her horse off to the right, pushing Murphy in the same direction.

"If we're not going to Arkadia, then where are we going?" Murphy questioned her, still at her side.

"You don't have to come, if you don't want to. You can go back to Arkadia," Ila looked at him.

"I really don't care, I just want to know where it is we're going if not Arkadia," Murphy looked at her in search for an answer. Ila looked forward and pulled on the reins to slow her horse down to a walk. A smile grew across her face as tears began to fill her eyes. Murphy turned to see what she was looking at. The dropship.

Life had come back to the place after being incinerated three months earlier. Grass had begun to grow, but the dropship had not changed. Still scorched, the door was still opened and welcoming to them.

"Home," Murphy agreed, smiling. They moved in closer to it, breathing in the young life that had grown from the ashes. Murphy stopped his horse and dismounted. He helped Ila, who struggled to get herself down.

"You're sure about this?" Murphy asked as she landed on the ground, his hands gripping the sides of her torso.

"I've never been more sure," Ila smiled at him. She quickly kissed him before running into the dropship. He followed after her, the two brushing past the tarp to enter the inside. It was empty save the same blankets and blood that littered the floor. The two looked about their familiar surroundings.

"Is it just me or are you afraid that the door might close behind us and we won't be able to leave for another three months," Murphy dared to joke. Ila shoved his shoulder and smirked at him.

"What about Emori?" Murphy frowned, suddenly realizing the grounder's absence.

"What about her?" Ila turned to him bitterly.

"She was headed to Arkadia…do you think she made it?"

"I don't know," Ila sighed.

"What happened? Why didn't she come with you?"

"I guess she made her choice," Ila looked at Murphy apologetically.

"Not the first time she's betrayed us, I guess," Murphy sighed and kicked over a blanket.

"I'm sorry, Murphy…" Ila struggled to be sympathetic, "We should go tie up the horses. We have a lot of work to get done."

"Yeah…you're right," Murphy made his way back out of the dropship. Ila followed him and made her way over to the horses, tying them up to the tree. Murphy set up a trough to collect water while Ila brushed down the horses and searched the packs. She pulled out some salted meats that were wrapped in cloth. Ila offered Murphy some and he paused his work to eat with her. The two sat down against the dropship. The night air was crisp around them while the moon glittered through the tree leaves. Ila gnawed at a piece of tough meat while looking up at the stars above them.

"What made you change your mind?" Murphy asked.

"About what?"

"About going back to Arkadia. That's all you've been working towards for the past three months. That's all you could ever think about. Now we're not going back?" Murphy looked concerned and a little sour. Ila looked away from him, staring at the frayed meat in her hand.

"I wanted so badly to help with Mount Weather. I wanted to make sure everyone was okay. Now that I know everyone is okay…I'm not as obligated anymore. I can do what I really want to do. At least here we're close by if they ever need us," Ila answered.

"You were never obligated to save them, Ila," Murphy stated, grumbly, "They weren't your responsibility."

Ila sat silently next to him. Murphy felt guilty for making her feel bad.

"Sorry," Murphy mumbled.

"Do you feel equally as obligated to ruin a moment by being a dick, Murphy?" Ila laughed at him, jokingly. Murphy smiled with relief as he was forgiven. Ila began to stand up and Murphy's eyes traced her curves carefully, skin prickling with excitement. Her eyes glanced back at him, catching him checking her out and she smiled shyly to herself, blushing.

"Come on, let's go clean up the dropship and get some rest. I think we deserve it," Ila smirked at him. She grabbed Murphy's hand to help him up and the two went back into the dropship. Ila brushed past the tarp and looked around at the floor. Blood covered everything. She wasn't sure if it had always been like this – that she had never noticed before when they used to live here what felt like an eternity ago. Even the blankets were caked with dried blood, stained black and maroon. She wrinkled her nose in disgust. It smelled of iron, rust and burnt metal – still.

"This place is a mess," Ila complained.

"I agree," Murphy came up behind her, whispering in her ear, "Let's wait to clean it a bit, though."

His words sent chills throughout her body as he began to kiss her neck. His hands smoothed across her hips and he quickly spun her around to face him. They looked into each other's eyes and something caught her attention that concerned her. The way he looked at her…was not the same as it once was. She lowered her head, evading his kiss. Did she detect doubt? Bitterness? She was unsure, but a sick feeling churned deep within her heart, causing it to feel heavy.

"Something wrong?" Murphy asked, dejected.

"I'm just tired. Let's just get to sleep," Ila replied, pushing herself away from him. It was distance. So close had they been since they had landed and now that they were free, she felt distance between them. She was unsure what to make of it as she lay down on the floor, nestling into a bloodstained blanket without a care. Murphy stared at her for a moment and left the dropship for a bit. She didn't recall him returning once she had fallen into a deep, dreamless sleep.

Sunlight was filtered into the dropship through the tarp, waking up Ila. She blinked her eyes open as she stretched and sat up. Across the dropship, she saw Murphy sleeping, propped in a corner, with his head bent down. Ila made her way out of the dropship and toward the two horses that were standing side by side, nipping at the grass around them. They stood by the water trough, which seemed to have collected a little bit of the morning dew that dripped from the tree leaves. She dipped her hand in the small puddle that collected on the bottom and scooped a little into her mouth. Her horse stared at her with its big browns eyes and snorted in acknowledgement. Ila patted it to wipe her hand. The space between its nose was so soft, she was entertained by it until the horse pulled its snout away.

"Fine, be that way," Ila laughed, patting the horse on the side of its face playfully. The creatures were so gentle – a wonder for living in such a hostile world. Ila's stomach growled and she checked the pack for more food. Empty.

The holster still strapped to her thigh was empty. She was unarmed and starving. What were the chances she could catch food without a weapon. She supposed it was worth a try and headed out into the woods.

It was a calm and peaceful morning. Birds chirped overhead and their songs echoed through the trees. A gentle breeze blew past Ila and the cool air tickled her goosebumps. She smiled a bit as she continued walking.

Tombe, pas de bourree, chasse turn three times to arabesque. Releve' and jump. Land in fourth position and pirouette.

Ila managed to land a double turn successfully, putting a large smile on her face. Combre' back.

"Ila?" a voice called across the forest. Ila stood back straight immediately in surprise and found Monty standing before her.


	27. Chapter 24

"Monty, what are you doing here?" Ila asked him, completely awestruck. She wanted to run to him and hug him, but she was hesitant. She wasn't entirely sure if she could still trust him.

"I had to get out of Arkadia. I committed treason against Chancellor Pike to help our friends," Monty began to explain.

"Were you followed?"

"I don't think so," Monty stuttered nervously.

"Then let's go," Ila held out a hand to him, her eyes scanning the woods suspiciously for any sign of someone watching. Monty rushed to her and she put her hand on his back to guide him toward the dropship.

"Who told you to go there?" Ila asked.

"Kane."

"Is he meeting you there?"

"Yeah."

"You head back. Murphy's there. Let him know what's going on and that I'll be right there," Ila commanded quietly. Monty nodded and he continued off toward the dropship. Once he had disappeared past the trees, Ila hid herself in the brush and kept a wary eye out for any of sign of Pike. She didn't have any weapons, no defense. No yet.

She could hear footsteps crunching along the ground, coming her way. They were careful, but not nearly careful enough. Ila held her breath as one of the guards began to walk by. They were evenly spread out through the woods, just far away enough so that she could capture one without the others knowing. Once close enough, Ila wrapped her arms around the guard, one hand over his mouth and dragged him in to the brush. She swiftly disarmed him and put him in a choke hold as her legs quickly wrapped around his arms and torso. She pulled and pulled until he stopped struggling and lay limp on the ground. She grabbed his gun and quietly rushed off toward the dropship like a shadow, hiding the body in her hiding spot in the bush.

Pike's men were closing in on the dropship. Ila counted five of them, all of which surrounded the dropship and then entered with Pike coming up the rear. Ila snuck in on him and placed the end of her gun to the back of his head. He lifted his hands in surrender, letting his gun drop to the ground. Ila quickly slid it closer to herself with her foot and picked it up off the ground. The other guards were unaware of the situation, having already found Murphy and Monty inside.

Ila pushed Pike inside, her finger flirting with the trigger.

"Don't shoot! We're one of you!" Pike begged.

" _Monty_ is one of us…one of the 100. And we take care of our own," Ila stated.

"Ila Domek? Is that really you?" Pike turned his head, eyes desperate to look at her.

"You are _not_ one of us," Ila growled at him, continuing, "You were right, though…You knew I'd survive. Too bad you won't.

"Ila, don't. The grounders need him alive," Monty warned. Ila chewed on the inside of her mouth for a bit to think. Four other guards had guns on her, Murphy and Monty. One was close enough and she tilted her gun to shoot him. All guns pointed at her and Monty and Murphy took the opportunity to attack the two while Ila shot the third and final guard. Ila returned her aim to Pike and he finally turned to face her.

"I see Murphy took my advice and teamed up with a true survivor," Pike stated.

"Shut up," Murphy snarled and knocked Pike out with one punch to the face, "God I've wanted to do that for so long."

Ila smiled at him and lowered her gun.

"We should tie him up. Monty, check to see if any of the guards are still alive," Ila directed. She slipped one of the guns into the knife holster strapped to her thigh. It was a snug fit but it worked. The other pistol she tucked into the back of her pants. Murphy searched for things to tie Pike up with and wrapped up his wrists. The group waited a long while for Monty's rescue team and it was near evening fall when Ila was alerted.

"Monty?" Ila could hear Octavia's voice call out from the woods outside the dropship. Ila walked through the entrance and found Kane and Octavia, accompanied by Bellamy who Octavia had tied up.

"Ila!" Kane called to her in pleasant surprise.

"I told you we'd see each other soon enough," Ila smiled at Octavia as she ran down to them. She looked over Bellamy's condition and frowned sadly, grabbing the gagged that was in his mouth and pulled it free.

"What's the meaning of this?" Ila asked, worried. She placed a gentle hand on Bellamy's bruised and bloody cheek. He closed his eyes at her touch and sighed in relief.

"We were going to trade Bellamy for Monty," Octavia explained.

"What are you talking about?" Ila asked Octavia with sad eyes. She turned to Bellamy, looking for answers but Bellamy could not look at her. His eyes sank to the ground in despair, whispering with regrets.

"Bell's not exactly on our side," Octavia stated gravely.

"Well, there won't be any trading…we have Pike inside, already tied up," Ila explained.

"Good, let's get the sonofabitch to Polis and get the hell out of here," Octavia grumbled.

"Octavia," Ila grabbed her wrist, "What's going on?" She could see the sadness welling up in Octavia's eyes.

"They killed Lincoln."

Ila's heart sank as sympathy wash over her.

"Octavia, I'm so sorry-"

"Don't," she snapped back, "Don't say anything."

Octavia let Bellamy go and went for the dropship, Kane following up behind her. Ila stayed with Bellamy.

Ila looked at him, disappointed. She knew he never wanted this to happen. She could tell from the expression on his face that he regretted his actions that hurt the people around him - the people he loves. She turned around him to start working on loosening his bonds, remaining silent.

"You're not going to say anything?" Bellamy asked.

"What is there to say, Bellamy?" Ila whispered, "We've all done things. We just have to keep moving forward and make the most of what we have." She undid the tie around his wrists and once he shook himself free, Ila moved in quickly to wrap her arms around him in a heartfelt embrace. Bellamy hesitantly hugged her back, slightly off put but pleasantly surprised.

"I'm glad you're still okay," Ila whispered to him, choking up. Bellamy smiled weakly in gratitude.

Kane, Monty, Octavia, Murphy and Pike exited the dropship, Kane leading a groggy Pike along. Ila released herself from hugging Bellamy and saw a jealous look that had consumed Murphy's face. He was washed with doubt and distance and several other uncomfortable feelings upon seeing Bellamy – and it was not improved by seeing him embraced with Ila.

"I'll be taking Pike with me to Polis. Octavia will guide you back to our other hideout," Kane told them.

"Take our horses," Ila offered.

"Thank you," Kane agreed without question and left with Pike on horseback. Night had fallen on them before they started back for the cave the rest of the group was hiding out in. A muffled voice came from the radio in Octavia's pocket.

"Octavia? Octavia, are you there?" Jasper's voice could be made out once she had grabbed it and pulled it out. She held it out in front of her and the group stopped to gather round to listen.

"Listen, I have Raven. She's been chipped but she's been knocked out. I'm heading to the hideout now. I'll meet you there soon."


	28. Chapter 25

**With or Without**

Murphy grabbed Ila's hand and pulled her back from the group as everyone continued on to the hideout.

"Let's go back. We shouldn't get involved," Murphy suggested.

"What? No. Raven's in trouble, Murphy. We have to help her," Ila stated, incredulously.

"She'll be fine with everyone else. They don't need us," Murphy argued.

"This isn't up for discussion, Murphy. I'm going. If you don't want to, then stay," Ila shook Murphy off her wrist and rushed off after the rest of the group. Murphy shook his head and followed after her reluctantly with a heavy sigh.

Ila caught up with Bellamy, walking beside him. He seemed a little uncomfortable around everyone, as though he didn't belong. Same went for Octavia. There was so much tension and so much that had happened since she and Murphy had returned to their reality. Everything felt different. Even the way the air stuck to Ila's skin felt a little heavier with change…grief.

"Bellamy…I'm…I'm really sorry I left in the middle of all the confusion with Mount Weather. You know I would've gone to help…I was trying to get back the whole time," Ila tried to explain herself.

"You don't need to explain anything to me," Bellamy replied in a hushed voice.

"Murphy and I were locked up in a lighthouse that whole time," Ila continued.

"Ila, I mean it," Bellamy looked at her, "I understand. You don't have to defend your absence. You can't change what happened."

Ila stared at him in silence as they continue walking onward.

"I'm just happy you're okay," Bellamy continued. Ila smiled shyly, her heart fluttered with appreciation.

"I'm glad you're okay, too," Ila responded. Bellamy smiled weakly to himself, his eyes dropping to the ground for half a moment and then raised. An awkward silence suddenly overtook them. Ila considered how Murphy would be watching them right now – their innocent, small talk and sweet smiles at one another. It boiled Ila's blood to watch Murphy be like this with Emori back in the Dead Zone, she wondered if he felt the same way now. Should she stop? She was torn. She didn't think anyone deserved to feel those kinds of emotions but at the same time she had this conflicting feeling that probably stemmed from the bitterness.

"So…why is Clarke in the grounder city?" Ila asked, hoping to break the tension.

"Polis," Bellamy corrected, "Clarke chose the grounders over her people."

"That doesn't sound very Clarke," Ila stated, unconvinced. Perhaps Bellamy was bitter, too.

"Well, she left us," Bellamy nearly growled through gritted teeth.

Ila creased her eyebrows and frowned nervously. There were so many things she didn't understand anymore, so many –

"Ila!?"

Ila snapped her head forward, looking up to see the face that fit the familiar voice. The darkness of the looming night made it difficult to see but she found him without a doubt.

"Kwon!" Ila shouted, running toward him as soon as she spotted him peeking out of the mouth of a cave.

She jumped into his arms and tears began to pour down her face. Something good. Finally something good was left for her.

"You're alive! I knew you were alive!" Kwon squeezed his arms tightly around her shoulder, placing the side of his face on the top of her head.

The two let go of their embrace as the rest of Ila's group caught up to them.

"Where the hell have you been?" Kwon asked her.

"Around," Ila laughed through sobs. Everyone went inside the cave, where they could hear Raven struggling to break free. They were all greeted by Miller, Sinclair, Brian and Harper. Ila smiled at each of them, happy to see her fellow delinquents still alive. They nodded back at her in response, but didn't seem quite as happy to see her. Kwon acknowledged Murphy as he moved up behind Ila. It was a sort of "thank you for keeping her safe" sort of nod, knowing that Murphy had been with her the whole time – or at least assumed so.

Ila made her way into the cave after Kwon and saw Raven tied down to the ground with a blindfold wrapped around her eyes. She squirmed about, tossing herself around.

"You brought new friends? Who else is with you, now?" Raven taunted.

"Is that really Raven?" Ila whispered to Kwon.

"She's been possessed by ALIE. They all have – everyone that's been chipped," Jasper stood up from beside Raven .

"Is that Ila? I bet Murphy's not too far away," Raven laughed maniacally.

"What's with the blindfold?" Monty asked.

"She can't know where we are," Jasper replied, "Or ALIE will send for reinforcements."

"So what are we supposed to do with her?" Murphy asked.

"There's gotta be some way to get the chip out of her," Jasper stated.

Monty made his way over to Raven cautiously and began to prod the back of her head with his fingertips.

"I have a crazy idea, but I think it might work," Monty suggested, "I need someone to go-"

"MONTY," Kwon shouted, stopping him from saying anymore, "Just take whoever you need and go."

Monty nodded, nearly scared out of his skin. Monty grabbed Octavia and the two headed out of the cave.

"She has to be watched. We can take her in shifts," Jasper explained, "Just until they get back. Everyone else can get some sleep or keep watch."

Bellamy, Brian and Miller went out to guard the mouth of the cave while Harper and Sinclair laid down to sleep by the fire. Murphy, Ila and Kwon were huddled around Raven as silence filled the cave – save for the crackling of the flames that warmed the air.

"Murphy's awful quiet. Did Ila finally get you whipped?" Raven commented.

"Screw you, Raven," Murphy snapped.

"There he is," Raven smiled evilly.

She shifted uncomfortably in her seat as much as she could, her face drifting from one end of the room to the other as if to try to analyze the interior of the cave through her blindfold.

"How long has she been like this?" Ila asked Kwon.

"I don't know. Jasper brought her here this evening while we were waiting for the whole Monty and Bellamy trade. I wasn't expecting you to come back…or Bellamy for that matter," Kwon lowered his voice.

"Ila wouldn't let her back-up boyfriend get hurt, now would she?" Raven chimed in.

"Who the hell asked you?" Murphy barked back.

"Hey, is everything okay in there?" Bellamy called back to them.

"Fine!" Kwon called back in response.

"Sure, things seem fine, but even I could see Ila and Murphy's relationship was doomed from the beginning," Raven snarled. Ila stood up slowly as Raven continued.

"Bellamy has always been there for Ila and she has always been able to depend on him, but Murphy –"

Ila threw her fist, knocking it with a smash against the side of Raven's face. Raven was knocked out cold as her head fell, limp.

"Ila! What the hell!?" Kwon shouted, alerting everyone at the mouth of the cave and startling the other two awake who had been sleeping.

"That takes care of that problem…sorry Raven." Ila frowned, looking at her fist. It was severely bruised after today.

"Why the hell would you do that?" Murphy asked wildly.

"I'm sure Raven will be okay with it. She should know better than talk shit about our relationship," Ila replied.

"Is everything alright?" Sinclair questioned, sitting up in his bed.

"Yeah," Ila reassured him. Sinclair stared at her for a moment, unconvinced and furrowed his eyebrows at her. She stared back at him blankly, void of all emotion. She had put up with enough shit for one day.

"They're back!" Bellamy called back to the group. Monty and Octavia immediately rushed back toward Raven.

Ila walked out to the mouth of the cave as Octavia and Monty rushed in. Monty looked distressed with a flushed face. Ila turned her head to watch him rush toward Raven. Ila continued out into the cool night air. Bellamy watched her as she ran her fingers through her hair, pacing before the mouth of the cave.

"Everything okay?" Bellamy asked.

"Yeah…yeah," Ila responded unconvincingly, "I'll keep watch, you go ahead inside."

Bellamy frowned at her and made to turn into the cave to check on Raven as Miller and Brian followed.

Murphy came out to join her as she sat down on a log, looking out into the forest. He sat slowly beside her, his eyes watching her intently. Once settled into his seat, comfortably, he took up her hand gently to hold it. She looked down to observe this action as her heart fluttered. A wave of emotion had taken hold of her as though it was the first time they were touching. The forest was quiet in the night, even though the two could here everyone within the cave. But Murphy and Ila were separate from them, like old times…and it felt oddly nice and reminiscent. Ila smiled to herself and twisted her hand in Murphy's so her fingers could interlock with his.

"I'm with you," Murphy whispered to her. The words struck a heartstring in Ila that almost put her in tears, but she held them back, decidedly squeezing Murphy's hand a little more instead.

"I'm with you, too."


	29. Chapter 26

**The Air From My Lungs**

When Raven had woken up, she explained to everyone that the only thing that could stop ALIE from taking over the minds of everyone was to rescue ALIE 2.0. Ila wasn't entirely sure what that meant, but it somehow led them back to Arkadia as Raven stated that she could "hack into ALIE's mainframe and shut her down".

Ila and Murphy were sitting in the back of Jasper's truck with the group heading back to their old camp back at the Ark crash sight. Ila could see the walls coming into view and her heart fluttered for a moment with excitement but the thought of running into ALIE mind-controlled Skai Kru was a bit frightening at the same time. She was mindful of the two pistols she kept on her – one in the holster on her thigh and the second, concealed one tucked into the back of her pants. Her hands grazed across the surfaces of both to make sure they were still tangibly there until Murphy grabbed one of her hands away to distract her from her anxiety. She looked at him, tearing her attention away from the looming walls that grew closer.

His eyes slowly turned to look at her – almost innocently as though he didn't know he had rescued her from her worries. He smiled at her in reassurance and she smiled back, intertwining her fingers with his.

The truck closed in slowly on the gate to Arkadia, reaching the coolness of its shadow. Jasper stopped the vehicle and tilted his head down and forward in order to look up to see the top of the wall.

"No one's here," Jasper commented, suspicious. The gate was cracked open, but not enough to let the truck through.

"We should go on foot from here," Sinclair suggested. Everyone nodded in agreement and gathered up their things as they made their way out into the open air. Ila led Murphy by the hand, insistent on not letting him go. He complied and followed closely behind her. They followed everyone inside the gate – everyone's eyes scanning the empty camp and ear listening in on the silence.

"Jasper's right…everyone's just gone," Raven stated, confused.

"Well, where did they all go?" Harper asked.

No one answered. They continued on to the interior of the Ark, which was eerily dark and equally quiet.

"I'm finally back and there's no welcome party," Murphy chuckled sarcastically.

Ila elbowed him, smirking privately in agreement. Harper turned to look at them in contempt, as though they had just violated the silence. Murphy and Ila held back their guilty laughter as they continued through the halls, following Raven to a computer room. Monty and Raven shut the door behind them and as they did so, a sudden, off-putting sound came from down the hall.

"Do you hear that?" Bryan asked, elbowing Miller.

"Is that…a music box?" Miller added.

Everyone stared down the hall and watched as the lights began to flicker.

Murphy grabbed Ila's hand nervously, "I don't think we're alone here."

"Bryan and I will go investigate," Miller volunteered.

"Guys, we really shouldn't split up the-" Ila started, but before she could finish, the lights went out completely and she was blinded with darkness. She could hear Harper scream down the hall and could no longer feel Murphy's hand in hers. She began to panic, backing herself into the wall and sliding down it until she saw the flicker of lights down another corridor.

"Murphy!" Ila shouted. Silence.

"Murphy!" she shouted again, desperately.

She pushed herself off the wall and began running toward the light until she was struck in the forehead by a heavy metal object, knocking her out.

Ila woke, choking on a gag in her mouth that was tied much too tightly and a splitting headache. Her arms were tied over her head to the wall. She looked about her and saw almost all of her other companions were there as well – Bellamy, Bryan, Miller, Harper, Kwon, Jasper, Octavia. Her eyes landed on Murphy, who was across from her. His eyes were bloodshot and blood trickled down his face from a scar that tore into his forehead. He stared back at her, having already given up on his restraints while others continued to struggle to fight them off. Ila then realized it was useless. They were trapped in an airlock room, a man standing outside the doors, watching them.

"It's a shame Clarke won't be here to watch all of her friends suffocate to death right before her eyes," the man said. Ila turned to look at Kwon, who had already began to cry, tears soaking into his gag. She frowned at him, creasing her eyebrows as she let out a small, muffled cry. She was so desperate to hold her friends just one last time, to kiss Murphy one last time. To be able to tell Bellamy and Octavia that everything was going to be okay. To thank Raven for everything she had done to get her out of Arkadia that day to go after Murphy. Hopelessness settled heavily into her chest until the thought jumped into her head. Raven. Her eyes widened and she turned to look toward the man out in the corridor – this nameless man that did not even know who she was.

He pulled down the lever to the airlock just as Ila spotted Raven peeking out from behind him. Ila attempted to keep a straight face, but the air in the room had run thin and she began to choke, as though the air was being sucked from her very lungs. She tried to gasp until her vision blacked out and she passed out from the strain.

"Ila! Ila wake up!" the voice was distant but she could recognize it – Murphy. She shook herself awake and tried to push herself off the floor. How did she end up on the floor?

"Hey, easy, easy," Bellamy urged her. Both Bellamy and Murphy helped her up as her vision finally returned. Tears began to pour over her cheeks as she recognized their faces. Murphy immediately rushed in to hug her, wrapping his arms gently around her. He buried his face in her neck as he kissed her about a dozen times.

"It's okay. I'm here. I'm here," Murphy whispered into her ear. Ila grasped at his back and looked up at Bellamy to check on him. There was a flicker of emotion in his eyes – one Ila could not quite interpret but it almost looked like jealousy? Disappointment? He crossed his arms tightly, looking slightly uncomfortable. She wasn't sure. Ila pulled herself form her embrace with Murphy and kissed him gently on the lips. She stood up and made to hug Bellamy.

As she pulled away from him, she noticed a smile tug on the sides of his mouth but he quickly withdrew it, confirming Ila's suspicions. She looked about the rest of the group – Raven, who was in tears, Monty, Jasper and Harper comforting her. Miller and Bryan were sitting on the floor against a wall holding hands and exchanging sweet nothings. Ila's attention then turned to Kwon, who was on the floor, passed out nearby. Her eyes widened in fear as she fell to her knees before him.

"Kwon? Kwon!" Ila shouted, hands grasping at his chest to see if he was breathing. It was faint.

"He overexerted his lungs crying in the airlock," Bellamy explained solemnly, "He's probably going to need a lot of rest."

"The hell he is," Ila snapped, "Kwon, wake up! I can't lose you, too!"

She slapped Kwon across the face, startling him awake as he rolled to his side, gasping for air. Ila sighed heavily in relief as she threw herself at Kwon, wrapping her arms around him.

"Thank god," she gasped.

"Oh, hell, woman. You couldn't just let me sleep it off?"

"Nope."

"Of course," Kwon gave in and turned to return Ila's hug. He let go, turning to Raven.

"Did we kill ALIE?" he asked.

"No…we were too late…" Raven choked out the words through tears.

"What happened?" Ila whispered to Murphy.

"Sinclair's dead," Murphy answered. Ila's gaze flashed back at Raven, filled with pity.

"So what now?" Ila asked, determined.

"Now…we go to Polis," Bellamy replied seriously.


	30. Chapter 27

**Tensions Rise**

The underground tunnels beneath Polis were dark and damp, and made Ila nervous of what could be hiding in the shadows. She followed behind Bellamy and Octavia while Murphy, Bryan and Miller followed closely behind her. All were on guard with their weapons out, ready for anything. Ila's hands were tense as they gripped her pistol tightly. Her trigger finger pressed against the side of the gun, in fear that she may accidentally set it off. The group stopped as they came upon a figure in the darkness – Indra, Octavia's mentor.

"It's about time you showed up," Indra smiled at her pupil. Octavia nodded at her solemnly as everyone lowered their weapons.

"The elevator is this way, but we must be careful. There are still men operating it. We will need to take them out," Indra commanded. They started down the hallway at a quick pace and made their way towards the torchlight of their destination. They all moved against the wall for cover. Indra peeked around the corner to count the men standing guard and operating the machinery.

"We need to take out those men without killing them, Indra," Bellamy whispered to her. Indra nodded in agreement.

"Bryan and Miller can stand guard while O, Indra and Murphy operate the elevator so that Ila and I can ride up to the top," Bellamy directed.

"Wait, hang on!" Murphy interjected, unhappy with Bellamy's decisions.

"Murphy, I need Ila as backup in case things go wrong in the elevator," Bellamy explained, slightly irritated.

"But-"

"Murphy," Ila snapped quietly at him, "We have to do this. We _can_ do this."

Murphy turned to look at her, fear settling into his gaze. Ila frowned at him apologetically as she gripped his arm tightly.

"I'll be alright," she reassured him.

"Okay," Murphy agreed.

"See you on the other side, cupcake," Ila smiled at him before quickly kissing him on the lips. The group readied themselves to take action and ran down the corridor, knives, swords, guns, and stun batons in hand, swinging away at the grounders that stood guard first and then made their way to the ones that were operating the turnstile mechanism that operated the elevator. Ila followed after Bellamy as they cleared a path to the elevator. Once the grounders were out, Murphy, Indra and Octavia worked on bringing the elevator back down to their floor.

"You ready?" Bellamy turned to Ila.

"Yeah," she responded, voice quavering. A bead of sweat traveled down her temple and along her jawline. The elevator arrived and the two struggled to open the doors. It was empty. They jumped in and Bellamy gave Octavia a thumbs-up before Miller and Bryan shut the doors before them. Ila sighed heavily, anxiously waiting for something to go wrong.

"Hey," Bellamy whispered to her, "It's going to be alright."

"What am I doing here, Bellamy? Why not Murphy or Octavia?" Ila furrowed her brow, refusing to look at him.

"Because I know I can rely on you for this," Bellamy replied. Ila pursed her lips and nodded, unconvinced. An uncomfortable silence befell the elevator as they continued their slow climb up. Bellamy shifted from one foot to the other as Ila continued to find a comfortable grip on her gun, mindful of the backup still tucked away into the back of her pants, hidden by her shirt.

"Ila…" Bellamy began, breaking the silence.

"Yeah?" Ila replied, accidentally coming off slightly abrasive.

"Ila, I-" Bellamy started, but was cut off as the elevator stopped suddenly with a jerk and shook under their feet.

"What's happening?" Ila asked fearfully.

"I don't know. They might be held up downstairs," Bellamy replied, panicking as well. There was a banging on the elevator doors and both Bellamy and Ila watched in horror as they began to slide open. They rushed to the outsides of the doors, attempting to close them again and hold back the grounders from flooding in.

"Bellamy, shock them!" Ila shouted, struggling on her end.

While he held onto the door with one hand, he took out his stun baton and lit it up in the other, sliding it through the opening in the doors to shock the grounders on the other side. The release in Bellamy's second hand allowed the grounders, however, to open the doors faster and Ila was eventually thrown to the back of the elevator. Grounders – and some Skaikru - began rushed into the elevator. Bellamy's stun baton had not been enough.

Ila kicked at the first grounder that entered her personal space, flinging him back out into the hallway. Bellamy continued to use his stun baton on each grounder that was close enough, zapping to no avail as they didn't seem too phased by the pain. One grounder managed to knock it from Bellamy's hands, forcing him to tackle his next opponent while Ila continued to thrust her heels out in furious kicks. The bodies began to pile up on the floor but more and more grounders flowed into the cramped elevator, grabbing at the two.

"Ila!" Bellamy shouted, holding out his hands to her. She took them and he pulled her out of the back of the elevator and hooked his arms with hers. Bracing himself, Bellamy took up her weight as Ila jumped and kicked her feet out at the grounders in the doorway, knocking them down like bowling pins. Bellamy then set her back down and she threw herself into the crowd. Someone from Skaikru knocked her on her feet but she was quick and spun her legs about to regain her footing. She continued punching and kicking at the grounders from one angle while Bellamy attacked them from the interior of the elevator. She was overwhelmed and couldn't block all of the attacks that flew at her.

 _Not enough arms,_ she thought to herself, getting frustrated. Finding herself hopeless, her finger discovered the trigger on her pistol and she began to shoot, fighting her way back into the elevator until she found Bellamy being strangled by a familiar face.

Royson's hands were wrapped around Bellamy's neck and Bellamy struggled to push him off. Ila froze in fear, hand gripping tighter and tighter on her gun, which somehow found its way pointed at Royson. It shook in her hands. It felt heavier than she could ever recall.

Bellamy choked out a plea for help as his face turned purple. Ila took in a gasp of air, having forgotten how to breathe and pulled the trigger. Blood splattered back at her, painting her face with trauma. Royson's hands released Bellamy's neck as he fell limply to the ground. Ila's wide eyes watched as he dropped, lifeless. She couldn't move. Her arm was still outstretched, gun still pointing to where he once stood. Her breaths were short as though her lungs were twisted together and set on fire. Her heart was in her throat, choking her as her skin ran rampant with cold sweats.

She jumped a little as Bellamy wrapped his arms around her, lowering the arm holding the gun up and wrapping a hand gently around her head. He leaned her head toward his chest and tears began to soak into his shirt. She couldn't even remember when she started crying. Her face was a waterfall.

"It's okay. You're gonna be okay," Bellamy whispered to her. The elevator jolted to life, shaking Ila out of her daze. She looked about and noticed Bellamy had already moved the bodies that had been blocking the door and closed them in once again. Royson, however, was still on the floor, head tilted to the side with blood pouring out the back, onto the floor. She couldn't take her eyes off of him.

"We have to keep going, Ila. We're almost to the top," Bellamy continued. Ila snapped her eyelids shut and finally looked away from Royson, wiping at her face. She swallowed her sorrow, attempting to push aside the trauma. Her hands continued to shake furiously. It was a wonder she didn't miss.


	31. Chapter 28

**Scars That Don't Heal**

"You ready?" Bellamy asked.

Ila nodded silently as she crouched down to pick up a pipe from the dead hands of one of the grounders that lay on the floor. She gripped it tightly in one hand. The elevator came to a halt at the top the tower and Ila took in a deep, calming breath. Her mind was focused. Bellamy pried the doors open and Ila crouched down, under his arm and out through the opening. Two grounders came at her as she somersaulted past them. She spun around and took the pipe to the back of their legs, taking them down. Her eyes caught Jaha running off down the corridor in escape. As the two grounders fell to their knees, Bellamy smashed their faces in with the stun baton. Another grounder attempted to take his sword to an unsuspecting Bellamy but Ila was quick to grab a knife from the floor and through it directly into the grounder's arm. Alerted, Bellamy spun around and swung at the grounder, knocking him out.

"I think that's all of them…for now," Bellamy observed, looking about the empty throne room. Ila stood and checked out the knife that she had thrown so easily at the grounder's arm. She walked over to his fallen body and pulled the knife out, turning it over in her hand until she could see the engraving on the inside, "JM."

"Well, shit," Ila laughed to herself.

"Hm?" Bellamy looked to see what she was checking on.

"It's nothing. Let's go find Clarke," Ila snapped out of her reminiscent daze.

They ran down the corridor off the throne room and found a large door on the right that was closed.

"This it?" Bellamy asked Ila, pointing to it.

Ila nodded to confirm and Bellamy went to push against the door to find it impossible to break through.

"It's barricaded," Bellamy stated glumly.

"They must be inside…CLARKE!" Ila called.

"Ila? Ila, is that you?" Clarke's voice came from the inside. They could hear things shuffling about behind the door as things seemed to be pushed around, leading to some crashing.

Bellamy continued to push on the door until he managed to get it open enough to slip inside.

"Clarke!" Ila smiled, going to hug her. Clarke accepted her with open arms and beamed at Bellamy.

"It's really good to see you guys," Clarke stated.

Bellamy patted Clarke on the arm and she smiled at him as Ila looked over to Lexa who was sitting cross legged on the floor with her eyes closed.

"What's going on with the Commander?" she asked.

"Lexa is in a trance – she's looking for a way to stop ALIE in the City of Light," Clarke explained.

"There's a kill code that Raven was trying to work out, kind of like a switch, I guess," Ila responded, slightly confused by the mechanics.

"We have to tell her!" Clarke exclaimed.

"How?" Bellamy chimed in.

Clarke thought for a moment before responding, "I'm going to have to go into the city of light and tell her myself."

"Clarke, that's dangerous and stupid," Bellamy snapped.

"It could be the only way, Bellamy!" Clarke replied.

"I can't let you do that." Bellamy squeezed her arm, refusing to let her go.

"We have to try, Bellamy," Ila admitted. Bellamy's eyes turned aggressively toward Ila but immediately eased apologetically. He loosened his grip on Clarke's arm until his hand fell to his side in defeat. Clarke slid out of the room to find a chip while Bellamy leaned against the wall for a quick respite. His eyes wandered up to the ceiling.

"Have faith in Clarke, Bellamy," Ila stated, smiling weakly.

"How are you holding up?" he asked hesitantly. Bellamy looked back down at her.

Ila quickly looked away from him and spoke softly, "That doesn't matter right now."

"I'm just worried."

"Don't be. I'll be fine."

When Clarke returned to the room, she was not alone. She was shortly followed by the rest of the group – Octavia, Miller, Bryan, Indra…and Murphy. Once he had locked eyes with Ila, the two ran to each other, wrapping each other in a tight embrace – destroying the gap between them. They both buried their faces into each other's shoulders.

"Thank god," Ila sighed.

Murphy let out a small laugh. The two separated and Ila watched as Murphy's bright smile turn into a pitiful frown.

"I saw Royson in the elevator," Murphy admitted.

"Oh," Ila let the word tumble from her mouth. Murphy took her hands in his and squeezed them.

"You alright?"

"I think I will be," Ila replied, a tiny smile returning to her face. She began to fumble with the knife in her hands and Murphy looked down at it and smiled.

"My knife," he mumbled, pleasantly surprised. Ila handed it to him and Murphy took it without hesitation. He looked up to Ila and kissed her on the cheek.

"Ila…you need to know-"

"I know, cupcake," Ila cut him off, swallowing hard as her heart pounded in her chest, almost unable to contain her emotions. Murphy blushed and the two of them turned and watched as Clarke rolled the chip around in her hand, pacing back and forth in the room anxiously.

"Once I go into the City of Light, you guys have to do whatever it takes to protect both Lexa and I," Clarke explained to the group. Everyone nodded in agreement. Clarke sat down by Lexa's side and took up her hand in hers. In the other hand was the chip, which she reluctantly dropped into her mouth and shut her eyes tight. Ila winced at this until she heard commotion out in the hallway.

"They're coming!" Octavia called form the doorway.

"Bryan, Miller - stay in here and make sure no one gets in!" Bellamy commanded as he ran out of the room with Indra and Octavia. Ila and Murphy followed behind them and squeezed out into the corridor, which had grounders at each end. Ila was suddenly ambushed from behind and she threw the grounder from her back, hurdling them forward to the floor. The grounder quickly recovered and looked up at her.

"Emori…" Ila's eyes widened in fear.

"Surprised? I bet you always wanted a go at me," Emori taunted, smirking evilly. The grounders closed in on them and the group began to fight back. Emori ran at Ila, knife in hand. Ila defended herself by putting her pipe up to block, but Emori quickly evaded and sliced at her stomach, leaving a bloody gash in her skin. Ila screamed in pain as she jumped back, grabbing at her wound.

"Emori, please!" Ila begged. Emori laughed at her in response and moved in to attack once more.

"No!" Ila shouted as she retaliated. She threw herself at Emori, pinning her to the ground, her hands finding Emori's neck and gripping it tightly. Emori struggled beneath her, kicking and arms flailing, but her face continued to sneer up at Ila. Ila began to panic – her breathing intensified and heart raced against her ribcage. The pain in her stomach stung as tears began to pour from her face.

"Ila! Ila, STOP!" Murphy shouted at her, but Ila was unmoved. Her hands only gripped tighter around Emori's throat, causing her to gurgle and choke. Murphy was too caught up in his own fight to step in.

"ILA!" Murphy screamed again to no avail.

Suddenly…the fighting stopped. Emori stopped struggling underneath Ila and Ila released her grip. Emori gasped for air and coughed. Ila stared at her for a moment, at the red marks around her neck. She shoved herself off of Emori as Murphy ran to Emori's aid – helping her up off the floor. Ila scooted backwards along the floor, crying until she couldn't breathe. Her hands didn't touch the floor - they remained before her as she stared at them, watching her tears fall into puddles in her palms. She looked down her arms at the scars that had healed. So many scars. Would they be there forever?

"You're okay. You're going to be okay," Murphy assured Emori as he held her hand tightly. The two of them looked up at Ila in fear, unsure of what to make of the pieces she had broken into.

"What have I done?" Ila whispered to herself in between gasps for air. She looked up, watching everyone reunite and Clarke and Lexa emerge from the bedroom. It was over. It was finally over…but Clarke still seemed upset as Lexa led her into the throne room and joined Bellamy. Bellamy, meanwhile, watched as his sister walked out and turned down the corridor in a huff, refusing to look back or even say goodbye. His eyes watered as he stood motionless.

Ila buried her face in her hand, causing the puddle that had accumulated to pour into her lap. She clutched at the wound in her stomach, damp with blood that continued to pour down the front of her. A gentle hand rested on her back, startling her as she looked up to see Murphy and Emori.

"Hey…we're still alive," Emori smiled down at her. The two huddled in to hug her as she continued to cry. How could Emori so easily forgive her? Ila could not bring herself to hug them back. It didn't feel right to touch them. Ila gave out a little laugh of relief. She winced from the pain, causing Murphy and Emori to back off and check on her wound. They laid her back and put pressure on her wound as she began to black out.

"Ila! Stay with us!" Emori's voice seemed distant, "My god, what have I done!?"

"Don't leave me Ila…Ila! Goddamn it, don't go!" Murphy shouted, distressed. He lowered his voice to the point where Ila had to strain her ear to hear him, "I love you."

They were still there, nonetheless. Alive.


	32. Chapter 29

**Left Behind  
** "Out of the way! Get out of the way!" Bellamy shouted as he scooped Ila up in his arms.

"Mom, help her! Help her!" Clarke cried following after him. Abby rose to her feet and chased after Bellamy and Clarke. Murphy and Emori hung back, watching as she had been taken away to Lexa's bed chambers – door slamming behind Bellamy as he rushed in. He gently laid Ila's limp boy on the bed, immediately placing his hands against the slash in her stomach to help stop the bleeding. Clarke rushed by his side, shadowed by Lexa who watched as Abby worked efficiently to save Ila from bleeding out.

Behind the doors, Murphy sat on the floor in defeat while Emori searched about the room, taking things that might seem useful.

"What are you doing?" Murphy asked, exhausted.

"Taking whatever I might need. I need to get out of here as soon as possible," Emori replied.

"Are you kidding? What about Ila?" Murphy gaped in disbelief.

"My kind aren't exactly welcome here, John. I need to get out before someone finds me out. You can stay with Ila – but honestly, I think your people have everything under control," Emori replied, panicked under the time constraint. She continued to rush about, picking things up and throwing them into her bag. Once she decided she was finished, she threw the bag over her shoulder and looked back at Murphy.

"So what's it going to be?" Emori asked. Murphy stared at her, looking back hesitantly at the door.

"Do you really want to stay here with them? It's not safe, here, John," Emori urged him. He frowned deeply and turned back to Emori, standing up.

Ila's eyes drifted open as she listened to the breeze that brushed against the curtains of Lexa's bedchambers. The room was otherwise quiet as everyone else had left – save for Bellamy, who sat at the foot of the bed. He turned to Ila and she watched as his eyes went wide with surprise as he found her awake.

"Hey!" he gasped, scooting closer, "Are you alright? How are you feeling?"

"Alive – did we save the world?" Ila asked. Her voice crackled, still weak. She shifted uncomfortably in the bed, pushing off the hot furs from her body. Bellamy held up his hands to stop her and she retreated in agony, curling into herself as the pain surged from her scar. He maintained his silence, though, almost as if to avoid her question. Once the pain had ceased, Ila stared up at Bellamy with a piercing gaze, but he did not meet her with reciprocated eye contact.

"Bellamy…what did we do?" Ila asked, concerned.

Bellamy shut his eyelids tightly and reluctantly shook his head.

"Of course not," Ila sighed, her eyes lowering to her lap. In sudden realization, her head immediately jolted up and looked about the room.

"Where is everyone?" Ila asked, hopeful.

"Everyone's left. We're in the middle of a battle with Azgeda, who decided to take the opportunity to attack Polis," Bellamy replied. A sting of disappoint hit her. She was afraid to ask.

"Where's Murphy?"

Bellamy's eyes flashed up to meet hers, filled with sadness and paired with a regretful frown. Ila searched his dark eyes for an answer as he hesitated.

"He left…with…I think her name was Emori," Bellamy recalled. Ila's heart sank into her stomach as she simultaneously found a lump caught in her throat. Her face flushed with red as her fingers fiddled nervously with the fur blanket on her lap.

"So…" Ila continued, "What now?"

"I don't know," Bellamy replied solemnly, hands crossed in his lap. Ila pulled the blankets back from her body, throwing her legs over the side of the bed despite Bellamy attempting to stop her.

"Ila, please stop. You're wounded," Bellamy reminded her.

"And when has a wound ever stopped me from doing anything?" Ila smirked. Bellamy smiled proudly, and helped her up. They made their way into the empty throne room, passing the blood splatters across the floor. Ila wondered which one was hers – not that it mattered. It seemed like they ran together anyway.

They reached the opening in the wall that overlooked all of Polis. From there, Ila observed the war that had become active below. Swords clashed between Azgeda and Trikru, guns fired hesitantly from remaining Skaikru. The doors to the throne room swung open and Ila twisted around a little too quickly, hurting her wound. She flinched as Abby ran in, accompanied by Kwon, who rushed to Ila's aid.

"Ila!" he exclaimed excitedly.

"Bellamy, what is she doing out of bed? She needs rest!" Abby scolded. Bellamy stared at her sternly in response but weakened as the woman approached.

"No offense, ex-chancellor Abby, but the army of Azgeda couldn't keep Ila constrained in bed if they tried," Kwon laughed, turning to look at Abby who frowned at him, disapproving.

"Bring her back to bed or I will invite Azgeda in to try," Abby snapped, irritated. Kwon and Ila exchanged smiles as he helped her scuffle back to Lexa's bedchambers.

"Bellamy, Kane would like a word with you," Ila heard Abby direct Bellamy. She watched as the two left, Bellamy staring back at her and saying goodbye with a small nod. She nodded back as she and Kwon disappeared beyond the doors of Lexa's room. Ila crawled back into bed, burying herself under the covers, and groaned. Kwon chuckled a bit at this as he sat beside her.

"I feel like we've been here before," Kwon feigned dreamily. He laughed at his own inside joke and leaned back, staring at Ila who poked out of the covers and looked back at him.

"Ever since I've arrived on Earth, everyone wants me to stay in bed and miss out on everything," Ila admitted, agitated, "I've missed out on too much just being unconscious."

Ila's eyes drifted to the window, watching as the breeze blew in through the curtains, making them look like they were breathing as they inhaled into the room and exhaled out the window. Ila sighed heavily.

"He didn't even say goodbye," Ila mumbled.

"I'm not surprised that you've lived through so much though. You're tough – I taught you well," Kwon dismissed her statement as he probably had not heard her. Ila was snapped out of her thoughts and returned back to the room with Kwon. She wiped a tear from her eye as she focused her attention back to him.

"You okay?" Kwon asked, genuinely concerned. His smile had faded.

"Of course," she lied, biting her tongue, "So where were you this whole time? I thought you had followed us to the tunnels."

"Oh! Yeah, so I found some prisoners and took out the guards and saved some people that hadn't been chipped," Kwon replied, impressed with himself.

"All by yourself?"

"Like I needed help!" Kwon laughed.

He rattled on about getting the prisoners out of Polis to safety, obviously over-exaggerating things as he knew that Ila really wasn't alright.


	33. Chapter 30

**Blending In**

Ila couldn't stay in Lexa's bedchambers for much longer, but it wasn't safe out in the streets for Skaikru either. Octavia had finally come back to visit her, and sat with her in an empty meeting hall where she painted her face to make her blend into the Polis scene. Ila had her eyes closed as Octavia ran her fingers gently and decisively along her eyelids. Octavia had even helped her find new clothing to wear. The black grounder leather was heavy on her skin, but was still somehow comfortable. Ila felt secure in her new grounder garb.

"This doesn't guarantee that they will be convinced," Octavia commented, continuing hard at work.

"I know," Ila replied.

"I'd say I'm surprised that you're ready to go out in public-" Octavia started, but paused for a moment.

"But you're not," Ila finished her sentence.

"No," Octavia smiled proudly.

"Can't hide forever. Even if I'm still technically injured," Ila admitted.

"Abby would be furious," Octavia laughed cynically.

Ila let herself smile a bit, making sure not to disturb her face too much to ruin Octavia's work. She could still feel the wetness of the black face paint on her lower face.

"She's always furious with me. I've come to terms with that – and I don't really care," Ila laughed along. Octavia paused for a moment as Ila repositioned herself in her seat, dipping her fingertips into the container to glop up a bit more to paste onto Ila's face.

"Grounders will respect your resilience," Octavia complimented.

"Once upon a time they pitied me," Ila frowned sadly.

Octavia stayed silent, looking back to understand what Ila was talking about. Once she had found the memory, she frowned deeply and lowered her hand. Ila opened her eyes with a quizzical look, but noticed Octavia's serious expression.

"Am I finished?" Ila asked, ignoring her.

Octavia blinked listlessly and nodded. She began to wipe off her hand on a rag that draped over the side of the table they sat at.

Ila stood up carefully, placing a gentle hand to her concealed scar. Her knives bumped her hips as she walked over to a mirror to observe Octavia's handiwork. The black paint stained her eyelids and long stripes fell from below her eyes, trailed by little black dots on both sides. She looked back at Octavia and smiled brightly, pleased with her work.

"Mochof!" Ila thanked her in trigedasleng.

"Pro," Octavia nodded.

"Are you girls done in there, yet?" Kwon called from the hallway.

"Just a minute!" Ila called back, chuckling. She walked over to Octavia and carefully leaned forward to hug her. Octavia was slightly confused at first but reciprocated the hug with a tight embrace, careful of Ila's injury.

"I'm sorry about Lincoln…" Ila whispered to her. Octavia remained silent, clinging to Ila's back. Her eyes stung with tears but she refused to let them fall down her face.

"I'm here for you," Ila continued to reassure her. This caused a stray tear to escape down Octavia's cheek. She pulled away from Ila and looked at her, forcing a smile.

"Gone but not forgotten," Octavia sighed, wiping the tear from her face. She slightly smudged her face paint in the process.

"Let's go," Ila responded, turning toward the door. Octavia followed her and the two exited out into the hallway where Kwon waited for them beside the doorway.

"About time," he teased. Ila turned and looked at him, her appearance taking him by surprise.

"Wow," Kwon gasped, "I could barely recognize you. You look badass!"

"Thanks!" Ila beamed at him. She continued after Octavia down the hallway, leading up to the elevator. Kwon chased after her until he was near her ear.

"Hey, listen…I think I'm going to head back to Arkadia with Bellamy tomorrow. I think my skills would probably be better used there," Kwon whispered to her.

"Oh," Ila looked up to him in surprise, struck by a pain in the pit of her stomach.

"You'll be alright here with Kane and Octavia, right?" Kwon asked.

"Yeah, of course," Ila replied unconvincingly.

"With Lexa trying to smooth things over with King Roan, I think things will eventually quiet down – don't you think?"

Ila didn't reply. She stared at the elevator doors before her, not really seeing them for what they were. Once Octavia had opened the doors, Ila stared listlessly into the small, empty room. She didn't enter it.

"Ila, let's go," Octavia urged her. Ila shook herself from her daze and entered the elevator stiffly.

Octavia slid the doors shut with the help of Kwon and stood back as the elevator shook to life, making a slow crawl downward.

"You okay, kiddo?" Kwon asked, leaning his head forward in hopes of attracting Ila's attention.

Ila looked him in the eyes and blinked.

"Yeah…yeah, I'm fine…it's just…this is where…"

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"Well, we don't have to come back in here ever again, so there's that," Kwon suggested, attempting a smile.

"Yeah," Ila also attempted to smile but came up looking pitiful. She looked down at her arms, wrapped in ribbons to somewhat hide the scars. She furrowed her brow – tired of the gloom. It was the end of the world and she didn't want to waste any more time being sad. She sighed forcefully and the doors to the elevator slid open from the outside, revealling Kane and Bellamy. Ila smiled at them as she pushed her way past.

"Hey," Bellamy greeted them. Octavia brushed past him without so much as a look. Bellamy frowned but continued to look up at Ila, noticing her new look.

"You look-"

"Badass?" Ila interrupted. Kwon eyed Bellamy suspiciously, without Bellamy noticing.

"You look great," Bellamy laughed awkwardly, scratching at the back of his head. They made their way out into the streets of Polis where night had taken over. There was a large bonfire in front of the Polis tower building that they emerged from, with several grounders huddled around it, playing somber drums.

"How…glum," Kwon commented bluntly on the music. Ila frowned in disappointment. She understood that they were mourning the loss of their families and loved ones, but at the same time hoped to move forward.

"Octavia, tell them to be a little more upbeat – play faster," Ila suggested, turning to Octavia. Octavia looked at her quizzically and Kane gave her an encouraging look. Octavia ran off and asked the drummers to play something a little more upbeat in trigedasleng. The drummers questioned her but complied, proceeding with a happier sounding beat. Ila smiled, observed by both Kwon and Bellamy. She began to unstrap her belt, removing the knives from her side that disrupted her walk.

"Hold these?" she asked of Bellamy. He nodded, slightly confused and watched her as she stepped out into the fire light and began to dance. She spun around – abandoning all of her ballet steps for more relaxed, free flowing movement. The fire prickled her face with heat, smoke billowing up into the night sky. As she continued to dance around the fire to the beat of the drums, she was joined by other grounders that began to imitate her and some that made up their own movements on their own. Smiles grew across the crowds and groups huddled in to watch. Kwon joined in excitedly, beaming at Ila.

"I can't believe you got grounders to join in!" he stated in amazement.

"Music and dance is a form of communication that everyone can understand!" Ila laughed, throwing her head back as she spun about with her hands in the air.

Meanwhile, Octavia stepped closer to Bellamy, gesturing for him to hand her Ila's belt. He did so and she crossed her arms, standing beside him.

"I see how you look at her," Octavia commented. Bellamy looked away from Ila, to his sister, his face turning red. He quickly tried to look back to the fire as though nothing had been said, but his face continued to flush beneath his freckles.

"Why don't you go dance with her?" Octavia suggested.

Bellamy's smile faded as he lowered his gaze.

"Are you really going to let Murphy hold you back?" Octavia asked, frustrated.

"It's not Murphy," Bellamy grumbled.

"So you do have feelings for her," Octavia laughed, pleased that she got him to confess.

Bellamy's face twitched in irritation at this and lied, "No…"

"Just go," Octavia encouraged him. He turned to her, realizing that there was a small smile on her face. His heart skipped as she pushed him toward the fire. He stumbled forward and was stabilized by Kwon. Kwon stared at him critically for a moment – their eyes leveled with one another's. He let go of his shoulders and smiled without a word. He danced off into the crowd and Bellamy found Ila dancing before him. Her eyes found his and she beamed brightly at him – the fire lighting up her face. He smiled back at her. She held out a hand to him and hesitantly, he took it. She twirled under his arm and leaned forward into an arabesque, her leg reaching up toward the sky and then swung back down to spin around him once more. He watched her in astonishment, smile still glued on his face.


End file.
